My perfectly boiled egg.

As you can tell from the headline, I am deep in the process of procrastinating. While my real job calls for thousands of words about dining, I am convinced it is far more important that I drop what I am supposed to be doing and answer a question sent to me by PR boy toy Jef Tingley. Yes, he spells his name with one “f,” but I will save that analysis for a later procrastination post.

“Jef with one f” asked me how to boil an egg. Don’t laugh. How many times have you had tiny shards of shell pierce the delicate skin beneath your fingernail? I shared my secret with “Jef with one f” by private message on Facebook which made several people curious enough to email and ask (BEG!) for my secret.

You are going to have to jump hard.

How is it that I hold the key to the secret method of boiling an egg? My first job in a kitchen called for me to make 300 deviled eggs every morning for 2 years. Do the freaking math. I have peeled a ****load of eggs in my day. Okay, don’t say I never gave you anything. I’m opening a vein and spilling it now:

Place ROOM TEMPERAURE eggs in lukewarm tap water. Add (a lot) of iodized salt. Bring the water to a boil slowly and allow it to “soft rumble™” (MINE!) for 3 minutes. Turn off the heat. If you are cooking on electric heat soft rumble for 2 minutes and leave the pan on the element.  NOW, and this is critical: how fast they are ready will depend on how many eggs are in the water. If you have a couple dozen, leave them in the water until it is cool. Otherwise, usually 20 minutes will do. BEFORE you proceed to the next step, fish one of the eggs from the water, dry it off, and spin it. YES, SPIN IT on the counter. If it wobbles around like Stephen Doyle at 2AM, it isn’t done. If it twirls around fast and steady like Leslie Brenner when she lived in LA, it’s ready to peel. Pour out the water, NOT THE EGGS YOU NINNY, and refill the pan with cool water. Peel the eggs while they are submerged in water. Sometimes I toss a little ice in there if I find a difficult egg. If your eggs crack while cooking, like me on deadline, you’re totally screwed. Repeat the above process.

Your nubby little fingers can now type me a thank you note.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled work load.

Image by John Ueland.

In the November issue of D Magazine, freelance writer Jason Sheeler profiled Steven Doyle, founder of CraveDFW. When we assigned Sheeler the job, he had no idea who Doyle was. Sheeler called Doyle and asked if he could tag along on one of his nightly fact-finding missions. The whole evening was recorded, with Doyle’s permission, on audio tape. Sheeler filed the story.

Steven Doyle is not happy with the piece. He feels it’s “mean spirited and odd.”

Since the story hit the streets, I’ve received phone calls, texts, and emails from bartenders, waiters, restaurant owners, and readers who have, as one put it, “observed Doyle in action on numerous occasions.” What is astonishing to me is that none of these people will speak on the record.

So I will.

I don’t “know” Steven Doyle. I’ve met him a few times and he has contributed to SideDish. I think he is a nice person with a big heart and he wants to create a big love fest in the Dallas dining scene. He works hard. But Doyle is a cheerleader masquerading as reporter and he is setting a dangerous precedent for food bloggers following his lead. They attend free media food and drink events and write glowing reports without mentioning the fact they didn’t pay. They posses a scary sense of entitlement: “I have a food blog let me in.”  Do their reports serve the reader? No, they serve the restaurant industry.

If I’m a restaurant owner, I’m not going on the record to say anything against food bloggers who attend my media dinner and, in turn, talk, blog, and tweet about my yummy food. It’s free advertising. I can’t blame them. Hell, I even feel sorry for restaurant PR people—who needs to hire one if you can get 50 food bloggers with advance degrees in social media to spread your message. Doyle claims he doesn’t take anything other than what all members of the media are offered. However, plenty of people have reported otherwise. Truthfully, if Doyle would “own” his modus operandi, he could be an appealing personality. His recent gig as host of the celebrity kitchen at the State Fair proved he can carry an audience. His website could be a respectable pay-for-play alternative like an insidery version of Where magazine. Crowds at the bars part as he enters. His groupies wear I Heart Steve “tour” jackets.  Instead, Doyle chooses to deny and retreat.

I’m no shrink but Doyle’s need to be first at reporting a restaurant opening or closing is unhealthy. Many restaurant operators have said that if a story about them appears in another blog, they get a text, email, or phone call from Doyle. “He basically bullies me by saying ‘why didn’t you call me?’ or ‘your place is busy because of me,’” said one bar owner who, of course, doesn’t want his name used.

It’s the dawn of a new age in food writing. Everybody’s a food critic. The Associated Press standards are slipping fast. So are the FTC’s “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising,” which states bloggers can be fined up to $11,000 for not disclosing freebies. The FTC explains that an “in-kind payment” for a blog post is considered an endorsement and the payment must be disclosed.

Doyle thinks I am out to get him and bring down all of the Dallas food bloggers. Am I making too much of a big deal out of this? You are the reader, what do you think?

We’re currently casting a TV show to appear on a major cable network.  Any way you can help us get the word out, would be greatly appreciated.  And if you personally know anyone who would be great, please pass this along!

Go long. I’m throwing.

Are you a chef, restaurateur, foodie or gourmet who is ready to find the love of his life? Pilgrim Studios is looking for a single, attractive and charming culinary enthusiast to be our featured bachelor on a new, unscripted show for a major cable network.

Jump for it.(Doyle, I get 20 percent)

If chosen, you will be featured on your own series and have the opportunity to date a select group of amazing women who share your love for great food and the culinary arts. You MUST have a strong background in cuisine (food writers and connoisseurs welcome as well!), and be the kind of man who thinks that there’s nothing sexier than a woman who can cook her way into your heart.
If this sounds like you, and you’re ready to make spectacular meals with the perfect woman, then contact producers TODAY! Email <mailto:CulinaryBachelor@gmail.com> CulinaryBachelor@gmail.com<mailto:CulinaryBachelor@gmail.com> with your name, age, location, a recent photo and a brief description of why you’d be perfect for this show.
Deadline to submit is November 9, 2011! Producers are waiting to hear from you NOW!
Nick Corporon
Casting Associate
Pilgrim Studios
818 478 4618
<mailto:ncorporon@pilgrimstudios.com>ncorporon@pilgrimstudios.com<mailto:ncorporon@pilgrimstudios.com>

Who are you? I’ve been getting press releases from you for a long time but for the life of me I can’t remember meeting you. I do understand that you live underground and you cook a lot there as well, but do you ever actually come out during the day?

You talk funny. I mean, you write funny. You “sound” like you are totally hip and in with all of the IN people which explains a lot about our relationship. It’s so cool that you are throwing a birthday party for yourself on October 23! You must have lots of friends! Three LIVE bands, CAJUN food, and BYOB! Totally bitchin’. And Thursday, you only have 20 seats left for your super secret dinner in Deep Ellum. Have you done the math? Do you think you can get that many people under the ground in Deep Ellum? It must be so freakin’ dark, dude. Six courses for $66? That dinner is like so effin’ New Testament! And payable in “unmarked, untraceable cash only”? Brilliant.

Keep it up and maybe you’ll get your own restaurant one day. Oh, wait. My spirit is shaking. I’m getting an incoming subliminal message from, wait…oh…I can’t quite make out the voice, I can only hear pigs squealing. Oh, now  it’s clear. It’s  Steven Doyle LIVE from the State Fair. He says you have a “concept portfolio”  for a future restaurant called Twenty-Seven. Far out, it sounds so Satanic! Will you take American Express? Awesome. Keep us posted.

Good luck,

Nancy Nichols

It was only a matter of time before restaurateur and television game show/ Food Network host Guy Fieri moved his mammoth machine to the North Texas area. We spotted Guy today checking out locations for one of his two restaurants (maybe both) in Dallas.

The Steven promises updates and pictures. Whatcha think?

The foodie who never sleeps.

You have to get up pretty early in the morning (or stay up all night) to beat SuperChef follower Steven Doyle to the table of a new restaurant. Last night, he was a guest at a super secret soft opening dinner at RedFork. Give his report on cravedfw a nice SideDish Bump.

The 1969 Chevrolet school bus, Woodstock Edition.

Last Saturday was the latest in a lengthening list of Dallas Foodie Tours: The 2011 Dallas Pizza Tour. Like the Burger, Taco, and Vegan tours that preceded the tour was the brainchild of Steven Doyle, best known as never having written for Dallas/Ft. Worth Construction News (ed note: The list of Dallas publications that Steve Doyle has written for is now so long it is easier to just list the ones he hasn’t written for). As with previous tours we took our 1969 Chevrolet School Bus (Woodstock Edition) and traveled around several premier pizza sites in town, tasting at each stop. The good folks at Elm Street Bar were kind enough to provide us with a keg of beer which kept the 20 or so participants from dying of thirst on the way.

Janet Provost's kitchen and pizza

From base camp in Deep Ellum we headed out to the leafy lanes of  The OC and the house of Janice Provost, co-owner and co-chef of Parigi. There we sampled pizzas made by her and her husband ranging from classic Margherita through to taste benders like white truffle mushroom. The crust was the most idiosyncratic part. It was thin and crisp, almost to the point of being flat bread. The taste was as dry as a stone ground cracker. Pizza crust is a very personal thing and the variations on this tour turned out to be huge. To my taste, this was my favorite.

Jump for the whole story.

Next we drove out to Rockwall, noted for having the last gas station this side of Nepal, for a tasting at Zanata where they put pizzas together for us in a real pizza oven. Check out the movie.

We were starting to feel full as we headed back to town. Several people tested the medical

Coal Vines

proposition that if you drink enough beer it restores your appetite. Our next stop was Coal Vines in Uptown. To put this interesting place into context, consider the types of pizza places we had seen. The first was an artisanal restaurant owner’s home. The second was a classic dine-in pizzeria with nice tables and exposed brick walls. Coal Vines was nothing like either of these. It is a wine bar that specializes in pizza, and is equally serious about both. High end wine bargains include Stags Leap Winery Cabernet Sauvignon ($75) and Conundrum White Wine Blend ($42). The surroundings are all upscale wood and wine cabinets. The tables are dark wood, and the chairs are the type you sink in to. The concept is the product of the Nick and Sam’s people. Such has been its success that they are about to roll it out nationally, with a Kansas City location opening within months.

Finally it was back down to Deep Ellum for our penultimate stop at Serious Pizza. They are a chain that had opened this, their first Dallas location, two days earlier. Again the concept was new. Serious Pizza specializes in two things: wide pizzas that barely fit into the trunk of the average car and a pizza theater  involving tossing the massive things to form the dough into the proper shape for the crust. Apparently, in the opening days around bar chucking out time, the lines formed three deep to watch this.

Cane Rosso

Our last call was at the new, but seemingly long established, Cane Rosso. Jay Jerrier worked for 20 years at the company that designed the Fukushima nuclear power plant, so designing his pizza oven was a piece of pie. The crust of his pizzas are crisp on the outside but soft in the middle and his tomato topping seemed to be just more intense than the others we tried.

Overall, a great tour. Next: Barbecue!

In Fuego: Danyele McPherson, Stephan Pyles, and Randall Copeland by Steven Doyle.

Steven Doyle is hanging with Danyele McPherson, Stephan Pyles, and Randall Copeland (Ava Restaurant). Copeland dropped in to stage for a night at Fuego at Stephan Pyles.