DMN reporter Eric Aasen says that the one woman, Christi Erpillo, has successfully found a way to dip a Samoa into a vat of boiling oil. The fried food expert is using her favorite cookie to celebrate the Girl Scouts’ 100th anniversary this year at the State Fair, which starts September 28.

Erpillo plans to top the chocolate-caramel-coconut cookie with more chocolate drizzle, caramel, and toasted coconut.

Apologies to all of y’all drooling at your desk right now.

Chicken pot pie at Lady & Sons in 2008. One serving could feed a family of four.

In August 2008, I traveled to Savannah, Georgia where I dined at Paula Deen’s restaurant Lady & Sons. We ran a post titled “Paula Deen Wants to Kill You.” I wrote:

I can still smell the rancid butter that hit us in the face when we walked in the door. I’ve got to find the pictures I took of the food I ate–everything was dripping in butter. I remember the chicken pot pie was big enough for four and almost everything was fried. OK, she admits she’s “not your cardiologist,” but she really is contributing to the delinquency of dieters. The night we went, at least 75 per cent of the diners were beyond overweight–they were obese. It was sad–like people watching at the slots in Vegas–everyone was gambling with their lives.

Last week Paula Deen confirmed the rumor: she has Type 2 diabetes. I wonder how many of her dedicated fans also suffer from Type 2? This really chaps my sass because two members of my family didn’t have a choice: they both were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when they were young. They have to continually monitor their diet and control their blood sugar. However, Ms. Deen, and other people who put on blinders and continue to fill their body with fat and sugar, had an option. Like not eating a burger made with Krispy Kreme donuts. It’s now rumored that Deen may become the spokesperson for Novartis, a company with a drug designed to treat diabetes. If she personally profits from developing Type 2 diabetes (Hey yáll, I’m your endocrinologist!), I’m going to go berserk. I can already see the talk show circuit lighting up. It makes me sick.

Hello. Do you know if any of the vendors at the State Fair have anything remotely healthy?  I know it is a fried food fiesta, but surely there is something healthy or just low calorie to be had? Chicken tacos on corn tortillas would suffice.

I am clueless. Healthy State Fair food is an oxymoron.

It was difficult for me to pick only five items to try during my first visit to the State Fair of Texas. I hope to go back for more, but in the meantime, here’s my take on the first five.

Jump, please.

1. The El Bananarito

I wasn’t sure if my feelings for this item became somewhat skewed because I caught a glimpse of what the preparation entailed.  Basically, these bananas-in-a-hot-shell were sitting in this metallic fryer when I got to the stand.  I automatically took some points off for that unappetizing setup.

When the banana was finally all dressed up, it wasn’t bad.  I didn’t think it was anything close to grand, but it was decent.  The fried shell was sort of soggy, and I would have liked it a little crispier.  But I did enjoy that it didn’t taste only like fried.  The banana still kept its flavor, and the cinnamon sprinkles added a dash of mystery.  Overall, I gave it a 2.95. (Yes, I am getting technical like that).  In case you wanted to know, the cost of El Bananarito is 10 tickets.

2.  Fried Bubble Gum:

This is not your typical, run-of-the-mill chunk of Bazooka.  Because it’s actually made out of marshmallows.  Marshmallows that taste a little like a particular kind of rose syrup that is commonly used in India.  I wasn’t in love with the flavor because it didn’t taste exactly like bubble gum–which is what I was expecting– but this little concoction did have something special to it that I appreciated–charm.  The consistency was really nice, too.  I gave this a 3.9. Cost: 9 tickets.

3. Deep Fried Salsa

This had the best flavor overall.  It’s like a salsa casserole.  There are hints of tortilla, jalapeno, garlic, and chips.  And the best part– it’s slathered in queso.  I could see this being a success story as an appetizer in a restaurant.  I gave this a 4.5. Cost: 10 tickets.

4.  Fried Autumn Pumpkin Pie

I think I was the most disappointed in this item because I was looking forward to it so much, and it wasn’t what I thought it would be.  That’s not to say that it was terrible by any means.  I just didn’t care for the consistency, which was classified somewhere between gooey and a stale-like crunchy.  Also, it’s supposed to be a pumpkin pie (that’s what it says in the stands when you get there).  But I could hardly taste the pumpkin flavor because the pie was overwhelmed by the two gingersnap cookies that are in it. However, I happen to love spices that are reminiscent of the autumn season, so I did appreciate that.  I gave this a 3.0. Cost: 10 tickets.

5.   Fried Pineapple Upside Down Cake

This was my least favorite of them all.  I will tell you why.  You see, I don’t like it when fruit tastes bland.  Well, when the pineapple in this concoction is deep fried, I think it loses its flavor.  The flavor ends up in the breading.  That’s great for the breading, but that leaves for dull, lifeless fruit that tastes like grease when you hit mid bite.  Not enjoyable.  I gave this a 2.5.  Cost: 6 tickets

Get it? Corn dog. Hah!

Here is a preview of some of the hip new t-shirts carnival workers will be wearing when the Texas State Fair opens on Friday. They were designed by the Belmont Icehouse in Deep Ellum. They will be available for purchase.

Pretty self-explanatory.

Fletcher's finest gets a loose mustard Devo do.