Nancy, I need to comfort my poor old bones. Can you tell me the best places to get soup. Not just a restaurant but maybe someplace that sells it in larger quantities? I’m no gourmet. I buy the crud from the deli at Tom Thumb and it’s so salty. Thanks.

Crud from Tom Thumb? Wow, a critic to boot. I could think of a few places to tell her but that is your job. Get to it.

Oh yeah, it's for real.

We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:

• Yes, this is really real.
• Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
• And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
• Sorry, Mom.

It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.

Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.

If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.

you know you want more. jump for it…Still on the fence? Here’s a little rationalization.

FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.

Need I mention, we’ve requested a sample?

Has SideDish covered the best turkey to buy for Thanksgiving dinner?  I can’t seem to find anything like that.  I’m planning on cooking our meal from scratch, and just curious if SideDish has any input on where to buy the best fresh turkey…  Have bought from Whole Foods before, and wonder if there were other/better options…
Thanks,
Emily

Wanted to ask your advice on something. I enter the mid-20s in a couple of weeks and would like to celebrate my day of birth with several (maybe 15) friends in Dallas. See, I live in Arlington and don’t know Dallas very well. I’m looking at Knox-Henderson, Uptown, downtown — don’t really care where I go as long as it’s nice! And not too expensive: like mid-price range (15 bucks or a little more for an entrée and drinks that are no more than 10 bucks).

Hi Sarah!
We host an a dinner club. Each month, our guests take turns selecting an ethnic restaurant that is one of those hole-in-the-wall, behind-a-gas-station type of joints.

Well, this month, it’s my turn and I have an insatiable craving for dirty southern soul food. I lived in Memphis for four years and ate my fill of greasy pork ribs, chitlins, and peach cobbler, but where can I find those wonderful foods here in DFW? I need to get back to my dirty southern roots!

Help a sister out!

Emily

Love it! Let’s send her to our favorite holes in our favorite walls…

Also, apropos the holiday, back in the early 1990s I went to hear Studs Terkel speak on the topic of labor and will never forget what an eye-opener it was to finally understand what the holiday was all about. It’s a fine thing to have gotten dressed-down by the cigar-smoking big pappa of the working class. I have to admit, I was a little bit in love with him after that. So every year I offer a toast Studs (and promise to name a child or dog after him someday). Often there’s a signature drink involved. One year we created a drink called “The Working Poor,” but that bummed everybody out. Another year it was a gin concoction called “Not In My Bathtub,” but the gin made everybody mean. So a new drink is in order.

Problem is, I’m flat out of ideas. So, I’m going to steal some from you. What dishes are you making for your Labor Day gathering? And while you’re at it, any suggestions for a Labor Day-themed drink are welcome. Hell, if I get enough good ones I might even mix up a few and let the guests decide.

Need some help…we need a place for dinner for a group of 14-16 people for the second night of Rosh Hashanah which this year falls on a Thursday [29] in September. We are looking for a nice restaurant with at least some of the entrees under $30, and where the atmosphere allows for good conversation.

L’shanah tovah! Let’s put our heads together.

Hey, y’all! My sister’s coming in town from Chicago. Our family has this tradition where, on each visit, we pick one nationality and eat everything that city has to offer. Last time she came to town it was Vietnamese. The time before that we did French. This time she wants to do Greek. I need some help making a list (and a schedule) of all the decent places to get Greek food. We’ll go as far North as Frisco if we must.Also, what are some things on a Greek menu that we should try but might not know about?

A worthy task. Let’s help him out.

Taking kids to sea world this weekend and staying at La Cantera. Do you guys have any great restaurants you would suggest we not miss while there??? I would like to take advantage of not sticking with summer diet this weekend.

Help! My 76 year-old mother is coming to visit next week and she doesn’t like spicy food. I mean REALLY doesn’t like it. At all. She won’t eat salsa—she even thinks sausage on pizza is too spicy—but she loves to go out to eat. We’ve tried taking her to our favorite Indian or Mexican restaurants and asking them to prepare the food mild, but it never comes out truly mild. It’s harder than I thought to come up with non-spicy food that’s not bland or generic. I need suggestions of where to take her. Please don’t say burgers or Applebee’s; there’s got to be something better out there. Something not spicy, but not lowbrow either.

Dishers? Dish!

We are going to the fireworks at Fair Park and want to go somewhere for dinner first. Any thoughts on what restaurants in Lakewood, Lower Greenville, Deep Ellum or Henderson that might be open for dinner on the 4th? I tried three, none of which will be open.

An excellent question. As they have not specified a type of food, I’d say anything’s “Fair” game (see what I did there?).

Hi SideDish-
My husband would never write this letter so I’m jumping in for him. He’s been invited to a new friend’s ranch for a guy’s weekend. The theme of the weekend is Big Game meaning that they’re going to eat some game and shoot some skeet. The friend is hosting the whole thing, he only asks that the guests bring what they consider to be an item of game to cook on Saturday night and the alcohol they think would pair best with it. (Wild turkey & Wild Turkey is already taken, thank you very much.) We are at a loss. Hopefully you can post this on the forum and your readers can send some clever suggestions.

OK, folks. Help a sister out in the comments section.