Bring it! Let's get this city turned around! (image swiped from ABC)

Dear Mark,

I am addicted to Shark Tank. And because I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to get on the show and present my idea, I’m using the power of my pudgy fingers to reach you. Let’s pick and roll:

I walk on the set of Shark Tank. “Daymond John, you are so out,” I say. “Barbara, if I wanted to sell my cellulite-reducing sous-vide hot dog you’d be my best friend, but I’m keeping it to myself. You’re out.”

I watch the other sharks glance around, really scared at this point, and go for the kill. “Kevin, don’t even open that ugly mouth. You’re out. Robert, you can buy me dinner after the show but, for now, you are dead to me.”

Cameras swing: Close-up of Cuban. Music swells.

Mark. We live in the same city. We love the same teams. More importantly, we eat in the same restaurants. Last night, our city’s finest chef, Bruno Davaillon of the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek, lost Best Chef in the Southwest at the James Beard Awards in New York City to a young chef in Austin who appeared on Top Chef. It has been 18 years since a Dallas chef won this title. We need a local version of Shark Tank geared towards Dallas restaurateurs. That way, you and I can work together to tighten up our game and turn it around. We have the talent, we need the exposure. And that exposure shouldn’t have to come from the Food Network or Bravo.

I propose we put together a panel of experts and ask  restaurateurs to pitch their ideas BEFORE they decide to sink their life savings into an upscale seafood and sushi restaurant in a bad location. Let’s kick the steak house wannabes to Fort Worth. Mark, I’m asking you to invest whatever it takes to help us bring the talent of the Dallas restaurant community to the international scene. In exchange, I offer you fifty percent of my idea. Oh, and you can keep the Mavs.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Nancy

P.S. If this helps illustrate my talent: I promoted women’s basketball in Dallas before the Mavericks were a thought in your brain. Just ask Nancy Lieberman.

Here are the details:

D Magazine.com seeks an editor to keep our online food and dining content the best in Dallas. Responsibilities include continual management and enhancement of the thousands of listings in our restaurant directory, keeping up with the latest openings and closings, and ensuring that the information we provide our readers is the most accurate and helpful in the city. This editor should be the sort of person who would wake up in night sweats realizing that he or she accidentally marked a restaurant’s closing time on Thursdays as 10 p.m. when it should have been 11 p.m. Also required of the position are regular contributions to our SideDish blog, including first looks at new restaurants before any other outlets in town, and voicing opinions to spur a lively daily discussion of the Dallas dining scene. We don’t want just one-sided rewrites of press releases. This editor must have a competitive nature that causes him or her to become extremely irritated at, and to swear revenge upon, any blog or publication that might beat us to reporting an important piece of local industry news. But the job isn’t all eating and writing. The editor must be comfortable working with an online CMS and not break into hives when confronted with a massive spreadsheet full of data that must be manually entered (like typing a phonebook), often for hours at a stretch.  If you’re interested, please don’t apply merely by emphasizing your “passion” for the subject matter. Tell us instead about the knowledge and skills that make you the absolute best fit for our needs. To do so, email a cover letter and resume to jason.heid@dmagazine.com.

UPDATE: Yes, you also have to be able to play nice with Nancy.

Another Disher is excited about the game. So pumped that he is flying to St. Louis for the Games 1 and 2 (Thurs.). He wants your help.

I’m headed to St. Louis for the games. Any suggestions on where to eat.

Knock it out.

Assembling a mise en place for my super-secret East Texas peaches dessert. Doggie chew bone (right) not included.

Have you been eating Texas peaches? This guy has and he has a question for you.

Just finished some peaches I picked up at Dallas Farmers Market last week, and they were spectacular. Which brings to mind the question: which restaurants in town serve a great cobbler? I’m a Southern boy and really enjoy these  two months of the year when you can get a good peach cobbler at its freshest. Any info would be appreciated.

I’m not giving him my address and I know Gubbins wouldn’t give out hers. So, restaurants feel free to sell your peach desserts below.

Would you like to eat dinner with this man?

Tweeter up, Dishers! Tomorrow is the MLB All-Star Game. Don’t give a twit about the game? Me either! But Evan Grant, the Dallas Morning News Rangers beat writer and The Ticket contributor, and I are going to auction a special dinner for two to raise money for the family of Shannon Stone, the Ranger fan who died tragically on Thursday night. You will have a chance to bid on having dinner with Evan and me which is funnier and more interesting than any reality TV show.

Besides Happy Hour prices all night, there will be trivia games and prizes. Rangers swag and baseball tickets, and FREE garlic fries…Check it out. It’s all happening at Gordon Biersch in the Shops at Park Lane. Hope to see you there. Deets.

Hark! This morning, an email with the subject line: Check out this trip to Spain.

Turns out the festivities at Central Market has inspired A Taste of Spain, a boutique travel agency specializing in private, authentic culinary tours of Spain, to create a special tour for CM customers. It’s called the Ultimate Foodie Tour of Spain and it takes place September 11-18, 2011. Check out the full itinerary. Here are some highlights.

From hands-on cooking classes to VIP wine tours to avant-garde meals in Michelin-starred restaurants, A Taste of Spain has created a spectacular itinerary with the participation of Spain’s best chefs, food purveyors, and wineries throughout Madrid, Rioja, Basque Country, and Catalonia. Among the highlights: dinner at the restaurants of Paco Roncero and Quim Marqués (pictured is coca de sardines from his Suquet de l’Armirall), two of the participating chefs during Passport Spain; a private visit to Caves Naveran to taste and learn the process of Cava, the Catalan sparkling wine; and lunch at a private sociedad gastronómica.

I am not getting paid for writing this or taking any freebies but I’m just saying, I am going on this trip. Anyone care to join me? Book your reservation. Questions? Email culinary@atasteofspain.com.

Faux cuttle fish pasta with Iberico pork and lemon fondue at The Table in Dallas.

Chef John Tesar is on fire. The guy has been working non-stop since last winter. First, he kick-started the menu at The Cedars Social, where he still oversees the kitchen. Then he signed a lease on the Dali Wine Bar space and divided it into two restaurants: The Commissary and The Table.

Early returns from The Commissary are blissful. Colleagues have stopped by my cubicle and uttered “OMG” “To Die For” and “How can it be so good and so cheap?” “It blew my hair back!” Saaa-weet! The menu is centered on gourmet burgers and fine wine. It’s a burger joint with a sommelier (Scott Barber).  The other portion of the space, The Table is a 12-seat tasting room where Tesar will perform the higher end dishes that brought him to the Big Show. Teasar calls it “deconstructed fine dining.” He is resurrecting canapés!

Anywhoo, last night Tesar threw a private party at The Table. The guest list included Jennifer and David Uygur (Lucia), Chef Bruno Davaillon (Mansion execuchef), Michael Flynn (Mansion sommelier), Tim Byres (Smoke), Teiichi “Teach” Sakurai (Tei-An), and The “Ubiquitous” Brad. Who was that skinny little bitch sitting next to Byres? Our own Sarah Reiss. “The food was incredible,” Reiss said. “Tesar overwhelmed us (in a good way ) with 13 courses; he wanted to try everything out on his friends. I just sat back and listened to all the great industry talk and insider raves.” The 13-course, seafood-centric marathon, that was anticipated to last 150 minutes, lasted over 4 hours. Reiss gives the best dish award to the faux cuttle fish pasta with Iberico pork and lemon fondue.

Reiss said the talk at the table revolved around the current dining culture in Dallas and how chefs are trying new things on the menu (pig’s ear and tripe), and the fact that restaurateurs are more willing to take chances. “This generation is going to forever define the dining in this city,” said Tesar.

Wonderfully pompous or prophetic? Or both? The Commissary opens for lunch today. Go. Eat. Report.

Get your picture on the cover of D Magazine. Saturday at Savor Dallas.

Good morning Dallas, Savor Dallas 2011 is underway. Our SideDish reporters are armed with pens, wine glasses, and cameras and ready to file observations of the craziness expected this weekend. Stay tuned to SideDish or Twitter (DSideDish) for up-to-the-Nano-second reports.

Be sure and visit us on Saturday. That’s right, SideDish will have our own space in the Grand Hall on the first floor of the conference center. We will be distributing limited edition SideDish canvas gift bags and free magazines!

If you stop by SideDish’s booth, we will put YOU on the cover of D Magazine. We have some lovely ladies (DUH!) who will snap your photo and upload it to a custom cover.

Our special grand prize (sponsor coming) will go to the first person to walk up to me at the Grand Tasting and say “Busted!”  On your mark, get set: read my Tweets and tweep!