Pregnant With Paperwork: John Tesar has a lease.

John Tesar will not be stopped. The former (fill-in-the-blank) chef has inked a deal to take over the former La Tramontana space on Westchester in Preston Center. In January, Tesar announced he would be opening Spoon Bar & Kitchen in another space. However, the landlord killed the deal and Tesar moved his operation down the street.  Tesar has a signed lease, architect, and contractor and is scheduled to begin later this week.

Spoon will seat 68 and feature a 15-seat bar with a built-in raw bar and small plate menu. Tesar will be center stage in an open kitchen whipping up “three unique dining experiences”:  an a la carte menu that will change weekly; two nightly tasting menus (one from the land and the other from the sea); and a private chef’s table for 10. Cooking classes! Wine maker dinners! Eight seats almost in the kitchen! He plans to open fall 2012. Bring it, Tesar! Let’s Spoon! According to JT’s PR machine: Spoon is “ranked number seven on Eater National’s “25 Most Awaited Restaurant Openings of 2012.”

Slow-cooked pork covered with caramelized onions and peppers.

Nick Badovinus and chef Dan Riley have been hunkered down for over a year developing the menu and creating all kinds of delicious roasted meats for Off-Site Kitchen. Today he is finally opening the doors!

Now, hold your horses. The dining room is tiny. Off-Site Kitchen is basically a take-out restaurant with a few stools inside and some picnic tables outside. Here are some pictures of what you can expect. The food, inspired by “what line cooks eat,” is basically simple sandwiches and breakfast burritos made from quality roasted meats. Roll the Badovinus quote of the year:

“It’s light industrial food,” he said. “It’s the kind of food you want to eat before you go solder something.”

Off-Site Kitchen will be open for lunch only from 10:30AM until 3PM for the next two weeks. Then the breakfast menu will kick in and they will begin serving at 7AM and will remain open until 7PM. “After we hit our stride, we’ll start rolling out the meat-by-the-pound program,” Badovinus said. “I’m so excited. This place is a real man cave.”

The original date for OSK’s opening was February 14, 2011. After Badovinus missed his mark, he decided to workshop the place and open on Valentine’s Day this year. “You see how many financial sacrifices I made to pay for my original vision,” Badovinus said. “I mean I’ve got a wheelbarrow of pork rinds down here. Who doesn’t love that?”

Badovinus was only half-joking about the Valentine’s Day opening. He and chef Dan Riley have used the Off-Site Kitchen space to tweak the menus of Badovinus’ other restaurants (Neighborhood Services, Neighborhood Services Tavern, and Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill). They also use the huge kitchen as a commissary for the other restaurants. The receive, portion, and distribute all of the meat and seafood at Off-Site Kitchen.

SOLDER, EAT, REPORT. No call-in orders. Plan to show up and wait.

[Also, Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill in Preston Royal will open for lunch in two weeks.]

The menu and photos are below.

Wheelbarrow of pork rinds.

Cherry cola pie.

Green chile cheeseburger.

First customer.

Lisa Garza juggles relationships to get Sissy's Fried Chicken open.

Although La Garza is all about sisterhood (“I am Sissy,” Garza says. “Sissy is southern slang for “sister” and I am developing every aspect.”) there will be no sissy in the kitchen. La G has plucked Jeffery Hobbs and named him “leader of the kitchen.”

Oh, it’s a tangled tale—an episode of As the Restaurant Turns. Here’s the synopsis: Lisa was married to Chef Gilbert Garza. Together they operated Suze Restaurant, the cozy spot on Midway and NW Highway. At some point, Jeffery Hobbs joined the happy couple to work on the kitchen team as chef and partner. Hobbs and Gilbert ran a great restaurant. Lisa concentrated on catering. Lisa was picked as a contestant on Next Food Network Star. The experience was devastating, as most former TV reality participants will admit is generally the case. The Garzas divorced and Lisa retreated for a couple of years. She emerged as a fancy caterer. Found a new guy. Got re-married and is now pregnant with new restaurant.

After eight years at Suze, Hobbs splits to partner with burgeoning bully restaurateur, Jack “Maple & Motor” Perkins. They’re consulting on taco joints. Then La G calls Hobbs and asks him to be the “leader of her kitchen.” According to La G, Gilbert has given his blessing to the deal. See, there can be happy endings. Or beginnings. Stay tuned.

Oh yeah, it's for real.

We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:

• Yes, this is really real.
• Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
• And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
• Sorry, Mom.

It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.

Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.

If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.

you know you want more. jump for it…Still on the fence? Here’s a little rationalization.

FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.

Need I mention, we’ve requested a sample?

Anthony Bourdain on stage at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Last night, Anthony Bourdain fans packed the Majestic Theater. Baseball be damned, the worshipers of All-Things-Anthony showed up to lay themselves at the cowboy-booted feet of their hero.

Tony walked onto the stage at 8:10 and greeted the audience: “I am a whore. I am in every way compromised, jaded, bought and paid for, including my nice f—ing jacket.”

For the next hour and 45 minutes, the crowd hung on his every word. He was loose, casual, at ease, good-natured, straight forward, no bull. He was exactly the guy you see on TV, except, in person, you could see just how fine he wears boot-cut jeans.

After the show, we got to hang out with Tony and watch him sign books and greet his fans. Hundreds of folks bought books and stood in line to get his autograph. He walked into the VIP room and he very calmly said, “Look, I’m here and I’m not leaving until every book is signed, every picture is taken. I’m not in a hurry, so grab some food, have a drink, relax.”

I plan to write a longer report, but my day job calls. In the meantime, I’ll post the pictures that Tony most graciously allowed our photographer, Elizabeth Lavin, to shoot. Oh, and John “Jimmy Sears” Tesar was there. I mean everywhere. If you notice him in every shot, it is because he tried to get in every shot. At one point I thought he was going to start signing copies of Bourdain’s Medium Raw. He could have. That’s how he serves his burgers.

On to the show.

Bory Taft, Leena Varehese, Kim Chang Chung Lee. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

The Tony, The Tesar, The Brad. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Linda Tucker scores a photo op. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Bethlehem? No, the VIP room at The Majestic Theater after Anthony Bourdain's show. (Photo by ELizabeth Lavin)

Tesar hogs the spotlight. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

A Bourdain. A beer. A book. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Nobody went home hungry. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

This man can afford this dinner.

If I were a rich man, I’d buy the last two seats to this spectacular dinner on October 26. Since I am neither rich nor a man, a subject that is oft debated amongst these cubicles, I will pass the opportunity on to those who have enough dough to go. The dinner looks to be bobbydazzler guaranteed to erase the reality of the brutal economy from your mind. If only for one night.

Hit it, Jasper:

Our [Sigel’s] 2009 Vintage Premier Fete de Bordeaux at The Mansion on Turtle Creek promises to be the most exciting dining event in Dallas this year. In addition to the wonderful white and red wines from Bordeaux we are proud to announce that Maison Ruinart will be our Champagne partner for the evening. Established in 1729 Ruinart is the oldest Champagne house, specializing in Blanc de Blanc and Rose bottlings.  The menu from Chef Bruno Davaillon has been finalized and promises to be the perfect accompaniment to these fantastic wines. Featuring: Jean-Charles Cazes - Lynch Bages & Ormes de Pez;Anthony Barton - Leoville Barton & Langoa Barton; Nicolas Glumineau – Winemaker, Montrose & Tronquoy Lalande; Melissa Bouygues - Owner, Montrose & Tronquoy Lalande. Wednesday, October 26 @ 7PM. $225 per person. For reservations please contact: Randy McLaughlin - 214-350-1271 or rmclaughlin@sigels.com.

Wait until you read the menu and pairings.

Menu

Champagne Reception

Passed Hors d’Oeuvres  Foie Gras Doughnut, Date-Lemon Chutney

Ruinart Blanc de Blanc (92st)

First Course

Diver Scallop Carpaccio

Apple Jelly, Sea Beans, Crispy Quinoa and Cilantro

2009 Blanc de Lynch Bages

Second Course

Sweetbread and Foie Gras Agnolotti

Fall Root Brunoise, Black Truffle Puree, Aged Parmegiano

2009 Montrose (100rp)

2009 Lynch Bages (99ws)

2009 Leoville Barton (95+rp)

2009 Ormes de Pez (95ws)

2009 Langoa Barton (93ws)

2009 Tronquoy Lalande (93rp)

Third Course

Roasted Venison Loin

Porcini-Bacon Tort, Caramelized Pear, “Grand Veneur” Sauce

2001 Lynch Bages (90ws)

2001 Leoville Barton (92rp)

2001 Montrose (94ws)

Artisanal Cheese Selection

1996 Lynch Bages (94rp)

1996 Montrose (95ws)

1996 Langoa Barton

Dessert Course

Pain de Genes, Chestnut Honey Ice Cream, Coconut Crisp

2007 Suduiraut Sauternes (95ws)

Also, apropos the holiday, back in the early 1990s I went to hear Studs Terkel speak on the topic of labor and will never forget what an eye-opener it was to finally understand what the holiday was all about. It’s a fine thing to have gotten dressed-down by the cigar-smoking big pappa of the working class. I have to admit, I was a little bit in love with him after that. So every year I offer a toast Studs (and promise to name a child or dog after him someday). Often there’s a signature drink involved. One year we created a drink called “The Working Poor,” but that bummed everybody out. Another year it was a gin concoction called “Not In My Bathtub,” but the gin made everybody mean. So a new drink is in order.

Problem is, I’m flat out of ideas. So, I’m going to steal some from you. What dishes are you making for your Labor Day gathering? And while you’re at it, any suggestions for a Labor Day-themed drink are welcome. Hell, if I get enough good ones I might even mix up a few and let the guests decide.

Meso Maya's foyer (left) and strawberry & serrano margarita (right) (All photos courtesy of Meso Maya)

What to expect: Meso Maya, the self-labeled “simple modern Mexican food” restaurant that opened in Preston Forest Shopping Center last week has success writ large from the kitchen to the curb. First, chef Nico Sanchez (The Porch, Hibiscus), whom owner Mike Karns (president of El Fenix) lured away from the Consilient Restaurant Group, is heading up the kitchen. Second, the management team is being wrangled, in part, by the lovely MCrowd veteran, Elizabeth Ruiz. Third, the menu is packed with abundant deliciousness from the fresh margaritas, to the guacamole, to the house-specialty budin Azteca.

We visited (undercover) last week and are still talking about it today. Here’s the scoop:

jump for pictures and details…

On the menu: We started with a house margarita and an order of guacamole. The restaurant’s benchmark — a stunning, fresh margarita — provided a refreshing wake-up call. In a town where you can end up with a margarita made from a mix as easily as you can find yourself drinking a wine-a-rita, being presented with such a solid house drink is worth noting. Within minutes our guacamole arrived. While it was not made tableside, the mash did not suffer from the lack of theatrics. It’s chunky, creamy texture, simple recipe, and verdant color make it a must-order. Likewise for the accompanying chips and house salsa. Although I did not ask at the time, I’d put money on the thin, salty, crispy chips being made in-house.

Rough wood, succulents, and stucco accents hit the interior Mexican vibe hard.

For an entree, I ordered the house specialty: shrimp budin Azteca, which is a sort of Mexican lasagna. My companions settled on carne asada and chicken enchiladas. While the carne asada’s saltiness and moderate chewiness made it just so-so, the budin Azteca was worth ordering again and again. Think of it as Mexican comfort food. The layered corn tortilla pie is neither fancy or complex, but the satisfaction that comes from biting through so many layers of tortilla, cheese, and salsa verde…there’s very little as satisfying. When paired with an order of the cheesy, creamy, savory elote (street corn), the combination is elegant (albeit unnecessary).

Budin Azteca with shrimp (left); queso fundido with an avocado rita (right)

Also notable were the tortillas used in the enchiladas. I would not have thought to praise this in a tortilla, but these were delicate and pliant in a way that all but vanished on the tongue so that the flavors of the chicken, cheese, and sauce could claim center stage.

For dessert, we took our server, Cesar’s, recommendation and ordered the postal de moras, or blueberry terrine, which turned out to be a hot, hearty, dense blueberry cobbler that would score big points any brunch or dessert table. At the end of this particular meal, the flavor and texture pushed us to a place that was nearly transcendent. This one dessert, while not huge, provided a portion-correct capper, even when split between three people.

Succulents (left) and pollo con mole (right)

Who was there: A real mix of Park Cities parents, nondescript regional-Mexican devotees, and even a table of savvy-looking teenagers.

Where to sit: That’s a tough one. William Baker (Meddlesome Moth, Cibus, Rusty Taco) designed the 4,800-square-foot space to have three dining areas and a bar overlooking the open kitchen. The room has little dead space. If you are on a date, ask for the back room with its shadowy corners. Large group? Reserve the maxi-banquette in the far back. Otherwise, sit in a booth along the wall, or at the bar where you’ll have a view of Nico’s kitchen. 

The sultrier back dining area.

Price: The bill felt very reasonable, especially given the flawless service and the level of our enjoyment. For a margarita ($7), guacamole ($8), two soft drinks ($2.25), chicken enchiladas ($11), budin Azteca ($14), carne asada ($18), elote ($4), and postal de moras ($6), our dinner for three came in at $77.90 before tip.

Nice detail: The styling of the room is top notch, from the succulents on the tables to the thematic Mexican furniture in the foyer. Also of note, our waiter, Cesar (who you can also find at La Duni), is one of my favorite servers in town.

The takeaway: Surprisingly, we did not need a reservation, but I’d imagine, now that the word is out, those days are gone. Regardless, the vibe is easy and feasty and did not feel rushed. I’d have preferred if the manager had not called me a “lightweight” for only wanting one drink, but that’s a small gripe from an otherwise stellar experience.

*Hey, eagle-eye: yes, you’re right. The images do not match with all of the dishes mentioned in the text. Sadly, we were unable to gain access to shoot photos of our own and instead are using images supplied by the restaurant. They’re good images, but still…

Arugula and prosciutto pie from Dough Pizzeria Napoletana in Dallas. (N.N.)

The boys at the office wanted to try Dough’s (I am now officially shortening the name) pizza so, ever eager to please Zac and Tim, I headed over. I arrived a little before noon. No lines. The restaurant was about 80 percent occuPIED. There were five people at the host stand, one of which I believe was co-founder Lori Horn. (The Dallas location is owned and operated by Keith Hall and Brad Liles.)

Anywhoo, I asked if they did take-out. The gal I believe to be Lori Horn (GBTBLH) winced. “We really wish you would have a seat and eat your pizza here,” said GBTBLH. “By the time you transport it anywhere you will not get the whole experience. It only takes 90 seconds to make and it just doesn’t taste the same outside of the restaurant.” I persisted. “My office workers will be very disappointed,” I said. Then GBTBLH said I should call them and have them come over. I really didn’t want to have to explain what Tim Rogers would say to that phone call so I insisted one more time.

With a heavy heart, GBTBLH made me the second person to order take-out at Dough in Dallas.

Jump.

Margherita "STG" from Dough Pizzeria Napoletana in Dallas.

I counted at least 30 people working and that doesn’t include the people in the kitchen. I sat at the bar (yes, they have a full bar). I have never seen so many happy people working in one room. They have to be taking something. As the REM’s “Shiny Happy People” played in my head, the two nice guys behind the bar chatted me up. They were very chatty. One of the hostesses came over and she was also very chatty. It has to be in the water. I ordered a glass of water.

Poof! All of a sudden a small Margarita STC pie was delivered to me. “You have to eat this while it’s hot,” one of the chatty people said. By now I was dizzy from the chattiness. I gulped the water hoping to get up to their speed. The pie was hot and covered with bubbling and buttery mozzarella Bufala and Parm/Regg on a light layer of sweet tomato sauce. “Our basil is hydroponic,” the nice chatty man at the bar said. “It’s alive right now in the kitchen.”

The lobster scene from Annie Hall crossed through my mind and I imagined the squeals coming from the basil as they hand plucked it from the mother cord and shoved it in the pizza crematorium. Just then, my two pies were boxed up and ready to go. They took packaged the fresh arugula and prosciutto in a separate container so it wouldn’t faint in my car. Flash, $40 later, I was out the door.

Back in the office, the boys were happy with the pizza. There must have been about a C-cup mound of prosciutto on that one 11-inch pie. Perhaps that fact alone justifies the $22 price tag. I don’t know if this is a good or bad result of authentic Neapolitan Pizza, but when I checked my teeth in the mirror after eating,  my gums were lined with cracker-like dough. Too much information? Sorry.