Slow-cooked pork covered with caramelized onions and peppers.

Nick Badovinus and chef Dan Riley have been hunkered down for over a year developing the menu and creating all kinds of delicious roasted meats for Off-Site Kitchen. Today he is finally opening the doors!

Now, hold your horses. The dining room is tiny. Off-Site Kitchen is basically a take-out restaurant with a few stools inside and some picnic tables outside. Here are some pictures of what you can expect. The food, inspired by “what line cooks eat,” is basically simple sandwiches and breakfast burritos made from quality roasted meats. Roll the Badovinus quote of the year:

“It’s light industrial food,” he said. “It’s the kind of food you want to eat before you go solder something.”

Off-Site Kitchen will be open for lunch only from 10:30AM until 3PM for the next two weeks. Then the breakfast menu will kick in and they will begin serving at 7AM and will remain open until 7PM. “After we hit our stride, we’ll start rolling out the meat-by-the-pound program,” Badovinus said. “I’m so excited. This place is a real man cave.”

The original date for OSK’s opening was February 14, 2011. After Badovinus missed his mark, he decided to workshop the place and open on Valentine’s Day this year. “You see how many financial sacrifices I made to pay for my original vision,” Badovinus said. “I mean I’ve got a wheelbarrow of pork rinds down here. Who doesn’t love that?”

Badovinus was only half-joking about the Valentine’s Day opening. He and chef Dan Riley have used the Off-Site Kitchen space to tweak the menus of Badovinus’ other restaurants (Neighborhood Services, Neighborhood Services Tavern, and Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill). They also use the huge kitchen as a commissary for the other restaurants. The receive, portion, and distribute all of the meat and seafood at Off-Site Kitchen.

SOLDER, EAT, REPORT. No call-in orders. Plan to show up and wait.

[Also, Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill in Preston Royal will open for lunch in two weeks.]

The menu and photos are below.

Wheelbarrow of pork rinds.

Cherry cola pie.

Green chile cheeseburger.

First customer.

Oh yeah, it's for real.

We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:

• Yes, this is really real.
• Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
• And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
• Sorry, Mom.

It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.

Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.

If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.

you know you want more. jump for it…Still on the fence? Here’s a little rationalization.

FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.

Need I mention, we’ve requested a sample?

It was only a matter of time before restaurateur and television game show/ Food Network host Guy Fieri moved his mammoth machine to the North Texas area. We spotted Guy today checking out locations for one of his two restaurants (maybe both) in Dallas.

The Steven promises updates and pictures. Whatcha think?

UPITTY DATE: Here’s the short answer to the question: Rosa Mexicano is NOT moving into the Palomino space.  Turns out my both of my sources were wrong. (Today.) The Palomino space “isn’t technically available” said a person close to the business who swore he/she would slash my tires if I identified him/her. “However, we are looking at many different wonderful restaurants.” If you have a degree in reading between the lines, advance to go and collect $200. Oh, and to my friend who heard it from a friend: thanks for the lie, a whisper, and a knife in my back.

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Now having a groovy chicken coop in your backyard or on a patio in New York is trendy. The gals over on the D Home blog have the scoop on the “must have” coop. If you want to get your backyard bird party started, the folks at Northaven Gardens have the knowledge and supplies. I’d rather have a goat.

A little bit of Greenwich Village is headed to Dallas.

With our ferocious invasion of the In-N-Out’s double-doubles under control, we turn to face our next assault: conjugated linoleic acid from Murray’s Cheese on Bleecker Street in New York City.  No, we don’t need any rope, conjugated linoleic acid is a good thing. It is one of the healthy fats (love it!) found in cheese. There are many New Yorkers who think Murray’s Cheese shop is the best in New York. And, like so many New York businesses, Murray’s had humble ethnic start. From their website:

“Murray Greenberg was a Jewish Spanish civil war veteran and communist who opened a wholesale butter and egg shop a few doors up Cornelia street in 1940. The old timers tell me [current owner Rob Kaufelt] that even though he was an old leftie, he was still a street smart capitalist who used to buy cheese cheap and trim it and sell it. In the 70’s he sold the shop to his clerk Louis Tudda, an Italian immigrant from Calabria.” Grab a Kleenex and continue here. (I’d cast Dustin Hoffman as Murray and Helen Mirren as Paula Lambert in the movie War of the Cheeses.)

Fast forward to May 17, 2011. Murray’s has two locations in New York where they sell a gazillion cheeses. They have a books, cured meat, crackers, dried fruit and nuts, and an olive and antipasto bar. Phew!  And a serious online shopping site. However, you won’t need to order Murray’s cheese if you like Murray’s cheese because Murray’s cheese has made a deal with Kroger and soon their cheese will spread across North Texas. (They are already in Houston. What else would you expect from a communist cheese maker? No emails please.) It looks like a Kroger store in Irving (June-ish, not sure which location) will be the first outpost for Murray’s Cheese shop. I say shop because they are building little areas inside each Kroger to mimic the interior of the Greenwich Village store. (Twinwillow, I see a job opportunity in your future.) After that, it’s Katy bar the door– I hear the whole Upper East Side is relocating Frisco.

UPPITY DATE:

The first three shops to open in Dallas-Fort Worth are at the following Kroger locations:

-Irving  7505 N. MacArthur Blvd.  Irving, TX 75063 (Opening Date: 5/25/11)

-Dallas  5665 E. Mockingbird  Dallas, TX 75206 (Opening Date: 6/15/11)

-Fort Worth  3300 Texas Sage Trail Fort Worth, TX 76177 (Opening Date: 7/6/11)

More below.

Murray’s Cheese, the oldest cheese shop in New York City, is known for its huge selection of imported and domestic artisan cheeses and specialty foods.  Murray’s opened in 1940 in Greenwich Village as a neighborhood wholesaler of butter and eggs, and has since evolved into the country’s leading cheese destination. The company’s mission is to bring the best cheese selection to the United States and to educate customers about cheese.

Now, through an exclusive partnership with Kroger, Murray’s is opening specialty cheese shops within several stores in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Dallas-Fort Worth is part of a multi-divisional partnership of 50 cut-and-wrap specialty cheese departments in Kroger stores nationwide. Currently, Murray’s Cheese shops can be found in Kroger stores in Cincinnati, Atlanta, Houston, Huntsville, AL, and Knoxville, TN.

The first three shops to open in Dallas-Fort Worth are at the following Kroger locations:

-Irving  7505 N. MacArthur Blvd.  Irving, TX 75063 (Opening Date: 5/25/11)

-Dallas  5665 E. Mockingbird  Dallas, TX 75206 (Opening Date: 6/15/11)

-Fort Worth  3300 Texas Sage Trail Fort Worth, TX 76177 (Opening Date: 7/6/11)

In addition to 175 types of cheese, the shops will feature over 300 specialty food items like cured meat, crackers, dried fruit and nuts and an olive and antipasto bar.  The shops in Kroger will look much like the Greenwich Village flagship store in New York City. Shoppers can try cheese before they buy it and learn from cheesemasters who have been trained by Murray’s.

What people are saying about Murray’s…

“The temple to cheese” says Martha Stewart Living

“One of America’s greatest cheese shops” says Food Network chef Emeril Lagasse

“The world’s best cheese shop” according to Forbes.com

Mama Ida Papert with the team that won two years ago.

The date has been set for the 5^th Annual Join us for the 5th Annual Mama Ida’s Ice Cream Social at the Dallas Farmers Market. This will be a happy/sad event. It will be without Mama Ida Papert, who passed away in late January.

Organized by Dallas Farmers Market Friends, the hand-made ice creams and sorbets are created by local culinary students and participants of the culinary arts program at the Dallas County Youth Village. The paying public votes on the winner. Saturday, May 21. 9:00am – 12:00pm. Be There!

Helado de Elote (Corn)

He specializes in the food of Italy, a country that pioneered ice cream as we know it. However, in the event chef David Uygur decides not to make his own ice cream at Lucia, he might want to source it from just a few blocks away at Paletas Fruititas on Jefferson in Oak Cliff. Two of the many interesting flavors are shown here.

Mango with Chile

I just saw your blog posting about food trucks – your timing is impeccable. I am launching a truck at the end of this month called Green House. The truck is ready to roll out, and we are just finishing up with all regulations with the city.  The truck features high quality ingredients and cooking from chef Ben Hutchison (formerly of Food Company).The first truck will be serving the downtown area.

Ben Johnson Hutchison is going to be coming to St. Paul and Ross? That is the best news I’ve heard since this! He’ll be a wizard on wheels! Wait, did Siegel say “first” truck? This is good news. He promises to send more details and pictures later today.

UPDATE: Here is a picture of the real truck. Their website is under construction, but you can follow them on Twitter (greenhousetruck).

This is not Teresa Gubbins OR Leslie Brenner.

Scoop. She says Club Dada and the Green Room will reopen. Way to go, Old Gumshoe.