UPDATE: Monica is on her way to Houston. I got lucky when she answered her cell phone. “This [move] has been a real struggle for me,””Greene said. I’ve always been committed to urban development. I believe in Dallas but unfortunately the area [Deep Ellum] has taken a long time to develop. It’s time for me to expand and open my doors to a larger audience.”

I say, you go girl. It’s a great move. She has been in, what I would call, an abusive relationship with Deep Ellum for a long time. It’s time she made a fresh start. That girl has some balls. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

May 18, 2012

Dear Dallas,

Years ago, I read in “Popular Science” that it takes seven years for a person’s cells to replenish. Maybe this is true for humans, but it has taken twenty years at Monica’s Aca y Alla for that cycle to occur.  Monica’s Aca y Alla, with some other creative and wonderful entrepreneurs, helped put Deep Ellum on the map.  But today Deep Ellum is paying the price of Dallas growth within the Downtown area, Bishop Arts District, Uptown and other business districts.  Deep Ellum is going through its own revitalization; old buildings are being redone, DART stations are now open and someday there will be a new world in Deep Ellum. I hope that new world is a good. I expect to continue to be a part of Deep Ellum through my support of whatever venture my ex-partners decide to re-open in the Aca y Alla space.

Indeed, Monica’s Aca y Alla is evolving and changing to Monica’s and the ME Lounge and we will be moving to new digs.  We look forward to becoming a new fixture for the Cedar Springs and Oak Lawn area. We are excited to begin a new partnership with the Crosland Group and the Axiom Group at the beautiful ilume ®  building.  Hector Hernandez will be leading the charge as the Chef for this new concept. Together, we have a vision that will continue to create reasons for guests to eat our unique – yet traditional – style of food, enjoy new menu recipes that will include some of the real Mexican-style of food that was destined for Tajin.

Reality has shown me that with the intense competition in the Mexican food segment, the challenge of finding new ways to attract (and to keep) customers grows. Yes, the new Monica’s together with ME lounge will be fast paced, inventive, exciting, and it will epitomize a new style of Mexican food that I prefer to not call Tex-Mex, but “Nueva Cocina.”

I work, I play, I live and I will always love Deep Ellum. Monica’s had a very successful twenty years of restaurant operation in this historic district.  I am grateful, and would like to thank all Dallasites for their kind and generous support over the years.  We hope you will join us over the next few weeks at Monica’s Aca y Alla to say your good-bye’s and share with us your favorite stories from the past 20 years.  Then, I look forward to sharing with you my vision of the future at Monica’s in the ilume ®.  Until then…

Respectfully,
Monica Greene

I’m looking for an anniversary-ish dinner. For us, not something super casual, but not super formal either. We are happy in the snappy bistro range, and can appreciate the full gamut of ethnicity. Excellent and unique cuisine, even edgy- all over fancy ambiance. Off the beaten path for the wine list is a plus-we appreciate the somm who doesn’t rely on Wine Spectator to guide them.

My Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree contribution to D Magazine's holiday party.Circa 2008.

Three years ago, I introduced you to Charles Phoenix, the “Ambassador of Americana.” More importantly, I introduced you to his “recipe” for the Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree. (I made several for the D Magazine holiday party in 2008.  Co-workers still stalk me for my secret herbal ingredient.)

Well, thanks to SideDish, Phoenix’s  career and has catapulted over hosting grade school field trips and roller skating parties to doing national TV spots with Martha Stewart and commenting on NPR. (Rawlins in drag?) I think it’s time to bring back the Astro-Weenie recipe. Remember, as they say in England, you can always make one suitable for vegetarians. Mind your head.

Lisa Garza juggles relationships to get Sissy's Fried Chicken open.

Although La Garza is all about sisterhood (“I am Sissy,” Garza says. “Sissy is southern slang for “sister” and I am developing every aspect.”) there will be no sissy in the kitchen. La G has plucked Jeffery Hobbs and named him “leader of the kitchen.”

Oh, it’s a tangled tale—an episode of As the Restaurant Turns. Here’s the synopsis: Lisa was married to Chef Gilbert Garza. Together they operated Suze Restaurant, the cozy spot on Midway and NW Highway. At some point, Jeffery Hobbs joined the happy couple to work on the kitchen team as chef and partner. Hobbs and Gilbert ran a great restaurant. Lisa concentrated on catering. Lisa was picked as a contestant on Next Food Network Star. The experience was devastating, as most former TV reality participants will admit is generally the case. The Garzas divorced and Lisa retreated for a couple of years. She emerged as a fancy caterer. Found a new guy. Got re-married and is now pregnant with new restaurant.

After eight years at Suze, Hobbs splits to partner with burgeoning bully restaurateur, Jack “Maple & Motor” Perkins. They’re consulting on taco joints. Then La G calls Hobbs and asks him to be the “leader of her kitchen.” According to La G, Gilbert has given his blessing to the deal. See, there can be happy endings. Or beginnings. Stay tuned.

Chef Asdren Azemi has something up his sleeve.

Tomorrow this man will be unemployed. The man, chef Asdren Azemi, is closing Ruffino’s, the Italian restaurant opened by his father twenty years ago. Something tells me this man won’t be without a job long.

Azemi has worked at Ruffino’s since he was five. He swept the floors. Eventually he became a dishwasher. “I liked the dish-washer position the best, because there was no where to go but up,” Azemi says. (Guess sweeping was a glam job in those days.) At sixteen, he was cooking. After college he attended the French Culinary Institute in NYC.

Closing Ruffino’s is sad. Why, Chef Azemi? “It’s time to move forward and try something fresh…something new!” Chef Asdren says. “My Father created a staple on this quiet street. I enjoyed taking over and adding my own touches to his classic dishes, but now it’s time for me to create my own staple.”

Is he going into office supplies? “I’m currently working on several projects that I can’t speak about just yet,” he says. “However, I very much look forward to sharing more details when the time is right. I think many people will get to enjoy my new initiatives.”

I quite like the look of this man’s future.

Oh yeah, it's for real.

We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:

• Yes, this is really real.
• Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
• And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
• Sorry, Mom.

It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.

Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.

If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.

you know you want more. jump for it…Still on the fence? Here’s a little rationalization.

FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.

Need I mention, we’ve requested a sample?

Anthony Bourdain on stage at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Last night, Anthony Bourdain fans packed the Majestic Theater. Baseball be damned, the worshipers of All-Things-Anthony showed up to lay themselves at the cowboy-booted feet of their hero.

Tony walked onto the stage at 8:10 and greeted the audience: “I am a whore. I am in every way compromised, jaded, bought and paid for, including my nice f—ing jacket.”

For the next hour and 45 minutes, the crowd hung on his every word. He was loose, casual, at ease, good-natured, straight forward, no bull. He was exactly the guy you see on TV, except, in person, you could see just how fine he wears boot-cut jeans.

After the show, we got to hang out with Tony and watch him sign books and greet his fans. Hundreds of folks bought books and stood in line to get his autograph. He walked into the VIP room and he very calmly said, “Look, I’m here and I’m not leaving until every book is signed, every picture is taken. I’m not in a hurry, so grab some food, have a drink, relax.”

I plan to write a longer report, but my day job calls. In the meantime, I’ll post the pictures that Tony most graciously allowed our photographer, Elizabeth Lavin, to shoot. Oh, and John “Jimmy Sears” Tesar was there. I mean everywhere. If you notice him in every shot, it is because he tried to get in every shot. At one point I thought he was going to start signing copies of Bourdain’s Medium Raw. He could have. That’s how he serves his burgers.

On to the show.

Bory Taft, Leena Varehese, Kim Chang Chung Lee. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

The Tony, The Tesar, The Brad. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Linda Tucker scores a photo op. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Bethlehem? No, the VIP room at The Majestic Theater after Anthony Bourdain's show. (Photo by ELizabeth Lavin)

Tesar hogs the spotlight. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

A Bourdain. A beer. A book. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Nobody went home hungry. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

This man can afford this dinner.

If I were a rich man, I’d buy the last two seats to this spectacular dinner on October 26. Since I am neither rich nor a man, a subject that is oft debated amongst these cubicles, I will pass the opportunity on to those who have enough dough to go. The dinner looks to be bobbydazzler guaranteed to erase the reality of the brutal economy from your mind. If only for one night.

Hit it, Jasper:

Our [Sigel’s] 2009 Vintage Premier Fete de Bordeaux at The Mansion on Turtle Creek promises to be the most exciting dining event in Dallas this year. In addition to the wonderful white and red wines from Bordeaux we are proud to announce that Maison Ruinart will be our Champagne partner for the evening. Established in 1729 Ruinart is the oldest Champagne house, specializing in Blanc de Blanc and Rose bottlings.  The menu from Chef Bruno Davaillon has been finalized and promises to be the perfect accompaniment to these fantastic wines. Featuring: Jean-Charles Cazes - Lynch Bages & Ormes de Pez;Anthony Barton - Leoville Barton & Langoa Barton; Nicolas Glumineau – Winemaker, Montrose & Tronquoy Lalande; Melissa Bouygues - Owner, Montrose & Tronquoy Lalande. Wednesday, October 26 @ 7PM. $225 per person. For reservations please contact: Randy McLaughlin - 214-350-1271 or rmclaughlin@sigels.com.

Wait until you read the menu and pairings.

Menu

Champagne Reception

Passed Hors d’Oeuvres  Foie Gras Doughnut, Date-Lemon Chutney

Ruinart Blanc de Blanc (92st)

First Course

Diver Scallop Carpaccio

Apple Jelly, Sea Beans, Crispy Quinoa and Cilantro

2009 Blanc de Lynch Bages

Second Course

Sweetbread and Foie Gras Agnolotti

Fall Root Brunoise, Black Truffle Puree, Aged Parmegiano

2009 Montrose (100rp)

2009 Lynch Bages (99ws)

2009 Leoville Barton (95+rp)

2009 Ormes de Pez (95ws)

2009 Langoa Barton (93ws)

2009 Tronquoy Lalande (93rp)

Third Course

Roasted Venison Loin

Porcini-Bacon Tort, Caramelized Pear, “Grand Veneur” Sauce

2001 Lynch Bages (90ws)

2001 Leoville Barton (92rp)

2001 Montrose (94ws)

Artisanal Cheese Selection

1996 Lynch Bages (94rp)

1996 Montrose (95ws)

1996 Langoa Barton

Dessert Course

Pain de Genes, Chestnut Honey Ice Cream, Coconut Crisp

2007 Suduiraut Sauternes (95ws)

UPPITY DATE: This link from a adult beverage wholesaler.

Also, apropos the holiday, back in the early 1990s I went to hear Studs Terkel speak on the topic of labor and will never forget what an eye-opener it was to finally understand what the holiday was all about. It’s a fine thing to have gotten dressed-down by the cigar-smoking big pappa of the working class. I have to admit, I was a little bit in love with him after that. So every year I offer a toast Studs (and promise to name a child or dog after him someday). Often there’s a signature drink involved. One year we created a drink called “The Working Poor,” but that bummed everybody out. Another year it was a gin concoction called “Not In My Bathtub,” but the gin made everybody mean. So a new drink is in order.

Problem is, I’m flat out of ideas. So, I’m going to steal some from you. What dishes are you making for your Labor Day gathering? And while you’re at it, any suggestions for a Labor Day-themed drink are welcome. Hell, if I get enough good ones I might even mix up a few and let the guests decide.

Anqullkah Udama, Elaine Vasquez, John Tesar, Maria Mejia, and Rich Lacamana (Photo by Desirée Espada)

I snuck in to John Tesar’s Hater’s Party last night. My friend Laura and I arrived early and watched them set up. Tesar was running around organizing the seating and the free booze and tacos in the Camanera Tequila truck parked outside the restaurant. By the time we left (7:30PM), there were about 40 people on the patio. I witnessed no hate; only love for John Tesar. Our photographer, Desiree Espada, took pictures.

Jump for the love of John.

Gloria and Dan Burrows (Photo by Desirée Espada)

Shannon Silver, Drunk guy "Matt", Lisa Strouv, and Michael Miller (Photo by Desirée Espada)

The Camanera Tequila taco truck parked in One Arts Plaza. (Photo by Desirée Espada)

Lailani Mckeel and Lance McFarland (left); Greg and Angie Barrett brought their pup Grace Kelly to escape the heat. (Photos by Desirée Espada)

The sign advising Haters to party on the plaza (left); Anqullkah Udamaand Elaine Vasquez (right). (Photo by Desirée Espada)

Tacos, nachos & beer. (Photo by Desirée Espada)

Empties (Photo by Desirée Espada)

John Tesar hands off pork tacos from inside the Camanera Tequila taco truck. (Photo by Desirée Espada)

Grass does not grow beneath Teresa Gubbins' shoes.

Leave it to Teresa “Gumshoe” Gubbins to find a snitch in Trader Joe’s camp. Since the grocery chain announced they were planning locations in Dallas last May, they have been quite secretive about their locations. According to TG, you can rule out the former location on Greenville Ave. Her Deep Throat coughs up three possible locations: Walnut Hill and Central, Knox Ave., and Fort Worth. All of the details are here.

There was a time when Trader Joe’s was cool and funky and carried stuff you couldn’t find elsewhere, but I think the company is now running on a tired image. In the 70s,  Two Buck Chuck played a significant role in nursing wine drinkers off the Spanada bottle but the last TBC I sampled burned the enamel off my teeth. So, Trader Joe’s? Yes or no? Why?

This quick assessment from a professional food critic who reviewed Dallas restaurants while taking copious amounts of sinus medication? After my ENT doctor read about Raskin’s sinus problems,  he called me and said: “She had no business reviewing restaurants. Her palate was dead.” If I were a restaurateur who was reviewed during her reign, I’d be demanding a redo. No wonder she called Dallas a “dining nowhereville.” She wasn’t able to taste anything. She blathers on:

I shouldn’t be surprised that the imagined relationship between rigorous professional criticism and good food doesn’t hold up. I moved here from Dallas, a city that’s covered ruthlessly by established food critics, including the Dallas Morning News‘ Leslie Brenner, D Magazine’s Nancy Nichols, and Texas Monthly’s Pat Sharpe. The food there isn’t any better for it.

Hanna, you take one trip to Portland and declare “Portland appears to have entered the post-professional critic era, and the food scene hasn’t suffered.” Oh my. I need a Xanax. Writers in Portland were sadly laid off by print publications. Raskin should be next.

Chef Blythe Beck wants to school you.

Even thought it’ll probably be hot until Halloween, that doesn’t mean you can’t fantasize about the fall. What better way to spend an autumn afternoon than whipping up culinary treats with sassy-pants chef Blythe Beck of Central 214? Throughout the coming year, Chef Beck will be hosting groups of 25 for instruction and collaboration on a variety of fall dishes, starting with a football-themed class on Saturday, Sept. 17 from 2 to 4 pm..
Each monthly class will feature a three-course meal and specially selected wine pairings. Chef Beck promises you’ll “leave with warm memories, a full stomach, and goodie bag of recipes and treats.”

Here’s the schedule so far:

• Sept. 17: Fall Football-themed feast
• Oct. 15: TBA
• Nov. 19: TBA

Price is $125 per person. Complimentary valet parking provided.

Check the Central 214 website for class schedule and menus. For reservations, call 214-520-2865 or e-mail Karen.Pond@Central214.com