Artistic rendering of an artist's rendering.

I’m a sucker for birds. So is Mexican artist Luis Sottil. You may have seen his work in other Mi Cocina restaurants: he currently has paintings in six other restaurants. The mural at the new Mi Cocina in Lakewood, in the old Matt’s space, is scheduled to open in July. Sottill uses only natural pigments such as cochinella, mother of pearl, minerals, vegetables dyes, and14kt gold in his paintings. For this painting he was inspired by these birds: “Hooded Oriole, Altamira, Golden Cheeked Warbler, Painted Bunting, Texas Hummingbirds, and the Northern Mockingbird.” Tex-Mex for Twitchers!

UPDATE: Scott from dallasfood.org brings up a good point in the comments section. Several of the birds listed above would be a rare sighting at White Rock Lake. The press release reads:

This is the first time Sottil has studied the local natural environment and incorporated it into his Mi Cocina murals. The artist has chosen to feature birds including the Hooded Oriole, Altamira, Golden Cheeked Warbler, Painted Bunting, Texas Hummingbirds and, of course, the Northern Mockingbird.

Luis Sottil was inspired by his research of the history and “exuberant beauty” of White Rock Lake and the Lakewood area, and it reminded him of the lush biodiversity on his native Tampico, Mexico. In particular, Sottil was drawn to the many colorful birds that are common inhabitants of White Rock Lake which reminded him of home.

Hmm. Methinks Sottil should seek the advice of JR Compton and switch out the golden cheeked warbler for a monk parakeet. If you truly want to represent the “exuberant beauty” of White Rock Lake.

We would like to show our thanks to the community. Tuesday the 24th of April will be Residents Day at Driftwood - All Oak Cliff Residents will receive 50% off ALL food for the night. You must make a reservation (reservations will ONLY be taken on Monday the 23rd from Noon – 2pm). This offer is good only for Oak Cliff residents – MUST provide an electric or water bill showing the 75208 zip code to receive the discount. Limited seating’s and times because we are so small.

I can only imagine what would happen if Marquee Grill hosted a “Residents Day” and only allowed customers with water bills stamped with 75205. Oh, wait. Everyday at Marquee is “Residents Day.” No proof required. Cool. Hey Driftwood, when is 75201 day?

Upon arrival at Miami International Airport, I was stunned to find 92 percent of the people attempting to go through immigration, luggage retrieval, and customs while texting. I felt like I landed in a world of zombies. People ran their wheeled Tumi bags over my feet without noticing. They held up lines because they were distracted. I vowed not to go back to that.

Texting at the dinner table is not a new issue. I have a friend, oh we’ll call him Belevan, who texts in the car, in a movie, and at tables in fine restaurants. His defense is that he has to be available at all times. It’s a horrible emotional tornado that whips up when you text, Facebook, Tweet everything you do. I’m guilty. My job is time sensitive and dependent on instant information, but I am drawing the line now at the dinner table. There is nothing worse than talking to the top of someone’s head while they text in their lap.

It must drive restaurateurs nuts. Service people as well. It’s rude and disrespectful to the people you are eating with and the food you are eating. Anybody have a suggestion for how to stop the madness? Perhaps restaurants should add a phone usage charge to the bill.

I lived in California for 11 years so perhaps I am experiencing the reverse-home-town-food-nostalgia syndrome that affects older people because when I returned from vacation last week, I drove straight to In-N-Out and devoured a DDAS (double-double animal style) like a rabid coyote. EVERYBODY knows you order the fries crispy at INO. Everybody but Andrew.

Anywhoo, where do you go when you re-enter your life in Dallas?

After much consideration, pizza-maker extraordinaire Jay Jerrier and pizza-eater extraordinaire Evan Grant (that’s me), have come up with four finalists for our Name a Napoli Pizza contest.Tuesday (Feb. 7 or tomorrow to most of you), we will roll out some samples of these fine entries for you to taste and, as always, the full Cane Rosso menu will be available. One of these fine recipes will end up as a special pie on the Cane Rosso menu for the next month and one of these neophyte pizza creators will walk away with a nice little prize package. Maybe we can come up with some other surprises, too. So, if you are free come on down. We’d love your input here and at the restaurant. Here are the finalists. Be there at 7PM.

Chicken pot pie at Lady & Sons in 2008. One serving could feed a family of four.

In August 2008, I traveled to Savannah, Georgia where I dined at Paula Deen’s restaurant Lady & Sons. We ran a post titled “Paula Deen Wants to Kill You.” I wrote:

I can still smell the rancid butter that hit us in the face when we walked in the door. I’ve got to find the pictures I took of the food I ate–everything was dripping in butter. I remember the chicken pot pie was big enough for four and almost everything was fried. OK, she admits she’s “not your cardiologist,” but she really is contributing to the delinquency of dieters. The night we went, at least 75 per cent of the diners were beyond overweight–they were obese. It was sad–like people watching at the slots in Vegas–everyone was gambling with their lives.

Last week Paula Deen confirmed the rumor: she has Type 2 diabetes. I wonder how many of her dedicated fans also suffer from Type 2? This really chaps my sass because two members of my family didn’t have a choice: they both were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when they were young. They have to continually monitor their diet and control their blood sugar. However, Ms. Deen, and other people who put on blinders and continue to fill their body with fat and sugar, had an option. Like not eating a burger made with Krispy Kreme donuts. It’s now rumored that Deen may become the spokesperson for Novartis, a company with a drug designed to treat diabetes. If she personally profits from developing Type 2 diabetes (Hey yáll, I’m your endocrinologist!), I’m going to go berserk. I can already see the talk show circuit lighting up. It makes me sick.

Good wines gone bad.

Forgive me Master Sommeliers and wine collectors around the world, I have sinned. I am here to confess my deepest darkest wine secret: I improperly stored four bottles of fabulous wine. For nearly 35 years.

Look at the photos and weep with (for?) me. I recently uncovered these bottles in a box buried beneath a pile of old Christmas decorations in my garage. Yes, my garage, where it sat for close to 35 summers, winters, springs, and falls. I am a human species of Phylloxera.

I could have pulled another Billionaire’s Vinegar and called Sotheby’s and claimed the wine was given to me by Richard Nixon and I’ve kept it hidden in a bricked-up Paris cellar. Instead I’m posting pictures of my crime. Perhaps there are others who have committed the same dirty deed.

Full confession below.

Yes, $19.79 before my employee discount.

Self portrait.

I used to collect wine, especially French wine. Specifically those of Bordeaux. I worked at a wine bar in Dallas called La Cave and spent my off time learning about French wine. My former boss, François Chandou, still runs La Cave Warehouse.  He is my witness. I bought hundreds of bottles of French Bordeaux. I wore a laminated vintage chart around my neck and scoured wine shops and wine lists looking for the best.

Eventually, I drank it all. Well, except for these four bottles. Is there anything I can do? Do I even attempt to drink them? (Does anyone want to buy them?)

I would like to take this moment to apologize to Bacchus, Dionysos, the early colonists of Southern Gaul, the concept of terroir, Baron Philippe de Rothschild (and subsequent Barons), James Tidwell, and Drew Hendricks. My deepest regrets to the chateaus: Latour, Mouton-Rothchild, Margaux (oh, sweet Margaux), Haut-Brion, Petrus, Pomerol, St. Emilion, and d’Yquem. Sorrows to you dear Cabernet Savignon, Merlot, and Cab Franc grapes. You gave your lives only to sit in a bottle in a box underneath a pile of old Christmas decorations in my garage. I am unworthy of your grace.

There is about a half inch of sediment in the neck of this bottle.

Sorry lion-guarded fortresses of France.

This wine was my first true love. We sold it for $4 a glass at La Cave. At one point I owned two cases.

Heinous. Painful. Wrong.

First, a few things to disclose. I talked to Dean Fearing’s about this endeavor because my memory isn’t what it used to be. Second, when you see “Sfuzzi,” it refers to the original, not the current (for the youngsters in the audience). Third, I know there are bound to be errors, too bad. This was the best I could do at 3:30 in the morning. Fourth, I have tried to update locations, but some are questionable, thus the “?”

Remember this chart is the first draft of a larger project. Looking forward to adding more names and connections.

Anthony Bourdain on stage at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Last night, Anthony Bourdain fans packed the Majestic Theater. Baseball be damned, the worshipers of All-Things-Anthony showed up to lay themselves at the cowboy-booted feet of their hero.

Tony walked onto the stage at 8:10 and greeted the audience: “I am a whore. I am in every way compromised, jaded, bought and paid for, including my nice f—ing jacket.”

For the next hour and 45 minutes, the crowd hung on his every word. He was loose, casual, at ease, good-natured, straight forward, no bull. He was exactly the guy you see on TV, except, in person, you could see just how fine he wears boot-cut jeans.

After the show, we got to hang out with Tony and watch him sign books and greet his fans. Hundreds of folks bought books and stood in line to get his autograph. He walked into the VIP room and he very calmly said, “Look, I’m here and I’m not leaving until every book is signed, every picture is taken. I’m not in a hurry, so grab some food, have a drink, relax.”

I plan to write a longer report, but my day job calls. In the meantime, I’ll post the pictures that Tony most graciously allowed our photographer, Elizabeth Lavin, to shoot. Oh, and John “Jimmy Sears” Tesar was there. I mean everywhere. If you notice him in every shot, it is because he tried to get in every shot. At one point I thought he was going to start signing copies of Bourdain’s Medium Raw. He could have. That’s how he serves his burgers.

On to the show.

Bory Taft, Leena Varehese, Kim Chang Chung Lee. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

The Tony, The Tesar, The Brad. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Linda Tucker scores a photo op. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Bethlehem? No, the VIP room at The Majestic Theater after Anthony Bourdain's show. (Photo by ELizabeth Lavin)

Tesar hogs the spotlight. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

A Bourdain. A beer. A book. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Nobody went home hungry. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

My question: What is behind that bone? (Photo by Melanie Dunea from the book, My Last Supper)

Anthony Bourdain will be at The Majestic tonight. Tickets are still available. I understand there will be a Q&A segment in the show. Can’t go? Send me your questions. I’ll try to get them answered.

Oh, and Tony. Tonight is the sixth game of the World Series. Our Texas Rangers could be champions before your show is over. You’ve will have hard core Rangers fans in the audience with DVRs recording the game. Please do not give game updates. That goes for you fans in the audience. If I see one of you on your cell phone getting game results, I WILL CUT YOU.

In the middle of September, I received an email from one of the PR peeps handling Bourdain’s tour. She asked:

We are putting together press requests for Anthony today to see what he has time for scheduling wise. Would you be interested in a possible interview leading up to the show? If so, what would be your deadline for the interview in order for it to run before the show? Of course, the more coverage we receive from any one particular outlet will be given priority.

I said sure. She asked if the interview would be in the November issue and I said no we are a monthly magazine and that issue has already gone to the printers. I’d be happy to post it on the blog.

Gmail silence.

My humble offerings were not good enough. No interview. Today same PR peep says no media/photography access to the event. So, Tony. Have a nice show. I’m sorry we can’t cover it. If anyone out there would like to buy the excellent tickets I bought for the show, shoot me an email. I’m taking reservations.

UPPITY DATE: Readers says Scott Reitz at Observer posted interview this morning. Fully expected as they are media sponsor of event.

UPPITY DATE: Just received a note from Bourdain. He apologized for the confusion and invited me to be a special guest on his show. Tony and I will perform a medley of John Denver tunes. Need tickets? Email me.

UPPITY DATE: Anthony Bourdain sent me a note saying he doesn’t employ handlers or PR people. He has no involvement in how local promoters deal with media credentials.