The Avner Samuel; The Bailey. En fuego.

Whirling dervish chef Avner Samuel and his sidekick chef Jon Stevens are ready to open Snack, their “street-food-inspired-low price-points-small-plates-daily-chalkboard-special restaurant on Henderson in the space formerly known as Horne & Dekker. (Whew!) There will be three bar areas: one with cocktails, wine and beer; the second is a raw bar, but also includes a charcuterie element and hot small plates; the third, features a large wood-burning oven for made-to-order flatbreads and distinct hot dishes. (Whew!) Listen up:

From the age-old market-squares and bazaars to today’s street food vendors, SNACK is the creation of a street-to-table inspired menu. The menu includes dinner items such as short rib tacos with pineapple habanero and cilantro crema ($8), pork shumai dumplings ($9), chicken shawarmas with cucumber tahini and pickled onion ($8), and smoked oysters escabeche served with wood oven toasted bread ($7).  The brunch menu features items from a pan-fried egg sandwich with Serrano ham and avocado ($13), to a charcuterie flatbread with pan-fried egg, arugula and herbs ($14); and “street tacos” a la carte with a small assortment of sweeter entrees, like coconut griddle cakes ($11), to choose from.

Bizarre is right! Let’s see, Samuel-Stevens now oversee two locations of Nosh Euro Bistro, Snack, the transition of Bailey’s Prime Plus from steak joint to a chef-driven kitchen, and the addition of the lavish Aurora Room to BPP.  My guess is Samuel and Stevens already have their paws on the menu at The Chesterfield. What? You hear there will be more Nosh Euro Bistros if this relationship lasts? Oh, glorious Dallas dining. Are you coming back to life or going crazy?

UPDATE: Snack will have it’s own valet parking.

Bring it! Let's get this city turned around! (image swiped from ABC)

Dear Mark,

I am addicted to Shark Tank. And because I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to get on the show and present my idea, I’m using the power of my pudgy fingers to reach you. Let’s pick and roll:

I walk on the set of Shark Tank. “Daymond John, you are so out,” I say. “Barbara, if I wanted to sell my cellulite-reducing sous-vide hot dog you’d be my best friend, but I’m keeping it to myself. You’re out.”

I watch the other sharks glance around, really scared at this point, and go for the kill. “Kevin, don’t even open that ugly mouth. You’re out. Robert, you can buy me dinner after the show but, for now, you are dead to me.”

Cameras swing: Close-up of Cuban. Music swells.

Mark. We live in the same city. We love the same teams. More importantly, we eat in the same restaurants. Last night, our city’s finest chef, Bruno Davaillon of the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek, lost Best Chef in the Southwest at the James Beard Awards in New York City to a young chef in Austin who appeared on Top Chef. It has been 18 years since a Dallas chef won this title. We need a local version of Shark Tank geared towards Dallas restaurateurs. That way, you and I can work together to tighten up our game and turn it around. We have the talent, we need the exposure. And that exposure shouldn’t have to come from the Food Network or Bravo.

I propose we put together a panel of experts and ask  restaurateurs to pitch their ideas BEFORE they decide to sink their life savings into an upscale seafood and sushi restaurant in a bad location. Let’s kick the steak house wannabes to Fort Worth. Mark, I’m asking you to invest whatever it takes to help us bring the talent of the Dallas restaurant community to the international scene. In exchange, I offer you fifty percent of my idea. Oh, and you can keep the Mavs.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Nancy

P.S. If this helps illustrate my talent: I promoted women’s basketball in Dallas before the Mavericks were a thought in your brain. Just ask Nancy Lieberman.

Tom Spicer sings the greens.

This note just in from the father of foraging, Mr. Tom “Spiceman” Spicer, over at FM 1410. Hear him type:

“Here are few quick peaks at my annual “Easter Grasskets: (living wheat grass in an basket with assorted colors of carrots, rainbow chard and a goose egg). Get ‘em while they’re hot. I have also reserved the artichokes and enough Easter Grasskets for my “Adopt-a-plot” peeps. (peep peep).”

Peep,peep yáll. Easter Grasskets is pretty good. Jump for all of the goodies Spiceman has in his garden. And adopt one of his plots. It’s cheaper than a dog.Here  is what he’s got:

Fiddle heads

Ramps again

Goose eggs

East Texas Strawberries

Spring Onions

Wild and exotic ‘shrooms

Mulberry trees  in  the alley loaded with berries
Easter Graskets with living wheat grass, baby garden carrots, rainbow chard and a goose egg
Today’s garden pics 008
Wall of petite greens
Petite lamb’s quarters
Baby Asian Mustard greens
Baby mixed color carrots
Baby Arugula
Rainbow Chard
AssortMints
Radish sprouts soon to be radishes
Mixed baby lettuces
Benziger Vinyards Cabernet grapevines from Beat with orange mint
Third year fruit from same vine in my garden
vines are loaded with grapes

In-N-Out Burger, Pinole, California

I got sick of the long lines at the Frisco’s In-N-Out Burger location. It has become the only fast food place where I lose weight because of the time I spent queuing. I decided it would be quicker to fly to California, the ancestral home of In-N-Out, and eat at one in the land where residents consider it another fast food chain, not a place to worship an animal-style burger like a bunch of dazed zombies.

This is my new branch of In-N-Out. It is at the Pinole exit of I-80 (ICBM coordinates: 37.9894758, -122.3098301). For my In-N-Out induction I ordered a “double-double  animal-style” ($3.25) along with fries animal style ($3.30) and a chocolate shake ($1.99). Let’s go through each:

First, the shake.  Just like a McDonald’s shake. Clearly, INO does not see the shake as a menu game changer and just provides a smaller (and cheaper) version of the competition’s that is “good ‘enuf”. Grade: Average.

Next, the fries. Same as McDonald’s. Shoe string dimensions and flaccid. When will restaurants learn that there is only one way to cook fries, and that is three times? No taste on their own. Animal style is what makes them different. The onions borrow the synergy with potatoes of a pommes lyonnaise and the sauce on animal style creates a messiness that makes sure that bestiality has never tasted so good. Grade: On their own. Average. Animal style: Inspired.

Double-Double Animal Style. Kevin Marple may have spent a week in a cheap motel where he was the only guest without a criminal record to get great pictures. I only had a minute to get this one.

Finally, the meat of the matter, the burger. The bun is a POB (plain old bun) improved by the toasting. The meat has more flavor and umami than the grey pucks that dominate too many chain burgers. The ‘everything’ on it is the usual salad ingredients (lettuce, onions, tomato). The cheese is the same god-awful yellow pus you get at every other fast food chain. INO packages the burger in a snug-fitting paper bag from which the bun and meat pop out as if to say “eat me.” In the case of the double-double, the arrangement has a Georgia O’Keefe level of suggestiveness – which must be why the State of California requires they put a calorie count on the menu. Animal style defies INO’s neat packaging and makes the whole thing a mess, and a delicious one at that. Grade: Above average. Animal Style: Above Above Average.

The service was unbelievably friendly and gushy. When I arrived (no line at the counter) the teenage girls serving seemed genuinely pleased to see me. As I waited for my order they reassured me it was coming and a passing manager said: “good morning sir.”

Going back to the historic 2010 Dallas Burger Tour allows me to put INO in a Dallas context. None of the participating restaurants in that tour need have any worries of INO stealing their market. They are in a different league (especially Restaurant Ava and The Grape). Fast food chains, on the other hand, had better watch out. INO may prove to be a strong competitor.

This is just wrong.

]]> http://sidedish.dmagazine.com/2012/02/21/this-pookies-donut-is-borderline-offensive/feed/ 6 http://sidedish.dmagazine.com/2012/02/16/top-chef-texas-episode-15-recap/ http://sidedish.dmagazine.com/2012/02/16/top-chef-texas-episode-15-recap/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:04:39 +0000 Carol Shih http://sidedish.dmagazine.com/?p=36314

If you missed this episode, boy do I feel sorry for you. Bev kicked a lot of @$$.

Crazy BRAVO, I guess, was tired of hot-weather Texas and decided to see if the Top Chefs (Paul, Bev, Sarah, and Lindsay) could survive in the frozen tundra of British Columbia. They might as well have been in Siberia. All the chefs, sporting longer hairdos from a couple months off, immediately start hating on Bev the second they reconvene inside Whistler Olympic Park. Sarah’s resolution to “be a really nice person” (… right) turns into a big flop and outcasts Bev from the start. When the final four meet the judges again, Padma begins to explain their elimination challenge, The Culinary Games, which is split into three parts. At the end of each round, one person must die. (Kidding, kidding. Too bad this isn’t “The Hunger Games.”) The winner of each round wins $10,000 and a guaranteed spot in the final three.

Let the games begin!

Round 1: The Gondola

Chefs have 22 minutes to cook a dish on a moving gondola. Paul gets motion sickness, Bev’s scared of heights, and Sarah can’t get it together. But we all know how important it is for the chefs to gain this real-life experience of cooking on a gondola, because one day, who knows, there’s a 0% chance they’ll have to cook for President Obama while he’s riding a gondola up Whistler Mountain.

Unfortunately, mean-natured Lindsay wins this round with her seared salmon and red quinoa. Bev’s salmon tartare comes in a close second, while Sara’s chorizo sausage earns her third place. Paul kicks himself in the foot for not executing his lamb loins with curried mushrooms the way he wanted. It’s okay, Paul. You can’t always be brilliant.

Round 2: Ice Blocks

Judges are preparing Paul, Bev, and Sarah for imminent climate change by forcing them to break big blocks of ice that hold their ingredients. The chefs have to chisel away like eskimos at iceberg sculptures before they can start cooking. Paul goes straight for the king crab that Bev wants, but he’s super duper nice afterwards and helps Sarah and Bev throw ice blocks onto the ground because they’re clearly struggle bus-ing. Apparently, being small and half-the-size of Sarah doesn’t prevent Bev from hacking away at her ice blocks like a madwoman. (I hope I never have to share the same room with Bev and an ice pick. She scares the hell out of me.)

Paul’s poached crab with mango chutney helps him move onto Vancouver (someone please tell me why the next episode is STILL not in Texas?), and Sarah’s “split pea soup gone wrong” means she has to battle with Bev in the final round of Culinary Wars. This, remember, is the last thing that Sarah wants. Despite her attempts to play nice, she has been making underhanded remarks about Bev the entire time. Just give up, Sarah. You don’t know how to be nice.

Round 3: Guns and Skis

“This is your last shot,” says Padma.

Bev and Sarah have to ski around a track, stop, and shoot a gun with only 10 bullets for their ingredients. Even though Sarah is feeling cocky because her family owns a lot of guns (Bev, watch out), Bev blasts Sarah to the ground with her skiing and rifle skills. Meek Bev fights like a tiger in the kitchen, whipping up a slow-roasted Artic char with beet compote while Sarah braises a rabbit leg and heart topped with cherries and sauerkraut. At the judges’ table, Gail Simons thinks Sarah’s dish is tough to chew, and baldy Tom notes that Bev didn’t cook Asian this time, but her dish was still overcooked. It looks like a close one.

Padma tears up for the first time this season when she tells Bev it’s time for her to go.

Goodbye, Bev

Sarah turns nice and hugs Bev as she says, “I’m so glad we got to cook together.” Fakkity fake fake. Somebody – preferably Paul – please take her out in Vancouver. That girl needs to go.

My perfectly boiled egg.

As you can tell from the headline, I am deep in the process of procrastinating. While my real job calls for thousands of words about dining, I am convinced it is far more important that I drop what I am supposed to be doing and answer a question sent to me by PR boy toy Jef Tingley. Yes, he spells his name with one “f,” but I will save that analysis for a later procrastination post.

“Jef with one f” asked me how to boil an egg. Don’t laugh. How many times have you had tiny shards of shell pierce the delicate skin beneath your fingernail? I shared my secret with “Jef with one f” by private message on Facebook which made several people curious enough to email and ask (BEG!) for my secret.

You are going to have to jump hard.

How is it that I hold the key to the secret method of boiling an egg? My first job in a kitchen called for me to make 300 deviled eggs every morning for 2 years. Do the freaking math. I have peeled a ****load of eggs in my day. Okay, don’t say I never gave you anything. I’m opening a vein and spilling it now:

Place ROOM TEMPERAURE eggs in lukewarm tap water. Add (a lot) of iodized salt. Bring the water to a boil slowly and allow it to “soft rumble™” (MINE!) for 3 minutes. Turn off the heat. If you are cooking on electric heat soft rumble for 2 minutes and leave the pan on the element.  NOW, and this is critical: how fast they are ready will depend on how many eggs are in the water. If you have a couple dozen, leave them in the water until it is cool. Otherwise, usually 20 minutes will do. BEFORE you proceed to the next step, fish one of the eggs from the water, dry it off, and spin it. YES, SPIN IT on the counter. If it wobbles around like Stephen Doyle at 2AM, it isn’t done. If it twirls around fast and steady like Leslie Brenner when she lived in LA, it’s ready to peel. Pour out the water, NOT THE EGGS YOU NINNY, and refill the pan with cool water. Peel the eggs while they are submerged in water. Sometimes I toss a little ice in there if I find a difficult egg. If your eggs crack while cooking, like me on deadline, you’re totally screwed. Repeat the above process.

Your nubby little fingers can now type me a thank you note.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled work load.

Dah DAT is fixing a pre-tasting dinner on Friday, January 6. The “Deep Ellum arrival time” is 7PM. The (deep) six-course eclectic New Orleans-inspired tasting menu is $70 per person (plus-plus). This event is BYOB. But you must call Sir Wilkes for a seat: 214-680-5740. Absinthe butter is the new olive oil.

Oh, and one more thing about DAT. He’s offering you a chance to ride VIP. Here’s his crazy pitch:

We about to make our list 100% PRIVATE. Which means that YOU will be an exclusive member of our list and the only way for an outsider to join this exclusive list of amazing people will be to pay a membership fee of $25 to receive the emails and information for these events.

Whatch yáll think ‘bout DAT?

My Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree contribution to D Magazine's holiday party.Circa 2008.

Three years ago, I introduced you to Charles Phoenix, the “Ambassador of Americana.” More importantly, I introduced you to his “recipe” for the Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree. (I made several for the D Magazine holiday party in 2008.  Co-workers still stalk me for my secret herbal ingredient.)

Well, thanks to SideDish, Phoenix’s  career and has catapulted over hosting grade school field trips and roller skating parties to doing national TV spots with Martha Stewart and commenting on NPR. (Rawlins in drag?) I think it’s time to bring back the Astro-Weenie recipe. Remember, as they say in England, you can always make one suitable for vegetarians. Mind your head.

Good wines gone bad.

Forgive me Master Sommeliers and wine collectors around the world, I have sinned. I am here to confess my deepest darkest wine secret: I improperly stored four bottles of fabulous wine. For nearly 35 years.

Look at the photos and weep with (for?) me. I recently uncovered these bottles in a box buried beneath a pile of old Christmas decorations in my garage. Yes, my garage, where it sat for close to 35 summers, winters, springs, and falls. I am a human species of Phylloxera.

I could have pulled another Billionaire’s Vinegar and called Sotheby’s and claimed the wine was given to me by Richard Nixon and I’ve kept it hidden in a bricked-up Paris cellar. Instead I’m posting pictures of my crime. Perhaps there are others who have committed the same dirty deed.

Full confession below.

Yes, $19.79 before my employee discount.

Self portrait.

I used to collect wine, especially French wine. Specifically those of Bordeaux. I worked at a wine bar in Dallas called La Cave and spent my off time learning about French wine. My former boss, François Chandou, still runs La Cave Warehouse.  He is my witness. I bought hundreds of bottles of French Bordeaux. I wore a laminated vintage chart around my neck and scoured wine shops and wine lists looking for the best.

Eventually, I drank it all. Well, except for these four bottles. Is there anything I can do? Do I even attempt to drink them? (Does anyone want to buy them?)

I would like to take this moment to apologize to Bacchus, Dionysos, the early colonists of Southern Gaul, the concept of terroir, Baron Philippe de Rothschild (and subsequent Barons), James Tidwell, and Drew Hendricks. My deepest regrets to the chateaus: Latour, Mouton-Rothchild, Margaux (oh, sweet Margaux), Haut-Brion, Petrus, Pomerol, St. Emilion, and d’Yquem. Sorrows to you dear Cabernet Savignon, Merlot, and Cab Franc grapes. You gave your lives only to sit in a bottle in a box underneath a pile of old Christmas decorations in my garage. I am unworthy of your grace.

There is about a half inch of sediment in the neck of this bottle.

Sorry lion-guarded fortresses of France.

This wine was my first true love. We sold it for $4 a glass at La Cave. At one point I owned two cases.

Heinous. Painful. Wrong.

The Dude of burgers.

Maple & Motor owner Jack Perkins has a fond spot in his heart for the gone-but-never-forgotten Prince of Hamburgers on Lemmon. Starting next Monday night, Perkins will offer “back-in car service” after 5PM. Perkins will reserve spaces for those of you who would like to dine in the luxury of your car. Just back in and blink your lights. Monday and Tuesday nights only, weather permitting.