Articles about Nutjobs
Celebrate D Magazine’s 100 Best Restaurants in Dallas on May 22 at Trinity Groves
I have just completed D Magazine‘s June cover story: The 100 Best Restaurants in Dallas. Yes, I wrote 100 restaurant reviews and ranked the top 100 restaurants in Dallas. To complete the task, I had to toss out Fort Worth, Grapevine, and the mid-cities. Maybe next time. (Which will not be in my life time.) I’m so tired I thought it would be a great idea to throw a party and celebrate the 100 best restaurants in Dallas. The marketing people agreed.
Join me and many of the 100 best restaurants in Dallas for a giant soiree on May 22 from 6-8PM at Sharon Van Meter’s 3015 Trinity Groves. The festivities will feature food from the top chefs in Dallas and the fare will feature an eclectic mix of haute cuisine, off-the-beaten-path barbecue, and a variety of dishes from ethnic restaurants. This is a one-of-a-kind opportunity to mingle with an unprecedented gathering of chefs and restaurateurs from the top restaurants in Dallas. Along with the food tastings, there will be cocktails by Brugal Rum, beer by Trumer Pilsner, DJ Jose Guevara, Land Rovers on display and a See’s Candy buffet. Additional sponsors include Express Working Capital and Poggenpohl.
I’m thinking about doing a “Throw a Cream Pie in Nancy’s Face” booth to raise money for my favorite charity. Could happen. Buy your tickets here.
1 Comment »Jack Perkins is Smoking: The Slow Bone Opens in Dallas Today
Jack’s favorite picture. Swiped from Facebook.
Last night, Jack “Call Me Harvey” Perkins hosted a friends-and-family-and-friends-of-family’s-friends soft opening preview of his new barbecue joint The Slow Bone. TSB is across the street from Off-Site Kitchen on the corner of Wycliff & Irving Boulevard. The former English teacher and football coach at Kimball High School turned burger czar at Maple & Motor is taking a big chance here. There’s never been any doubt the dude’s got kerbangers, just try cutting in line or parking in the wrong spot at M&M. He will cut you (I never get tired of that skit). Perkins makes Harvey Gough look like Eddie Haskell.
The teacher turned chef will be walking the floor of The Slow Bone making sure you’ve got your trays are filled with hickory-smoked brisket, sausage, and pork belly. I didn’t see it on his Facebook page, but I hear he’s offering a free beer to customers who say: “Hey, Jack. SideDish sent me.” Give it a try. Let me know what you think.
Why I Hate the DMN’s Star Ratings: Reason Number 6,432
Star System: Eeny meeny miny moe…
I’ve expressed my opinion on the DMN‘s star rating system too many times to count. In case you care: You can find one here and another here. I’ve even suggested a reasonably quick fix to making the system more meaningful.
I read Leslie Brenner’s reviews. Sometimes my skin crawls and my eyes burn after I try to relate the number of negative (or positive) comments to the number of stars. There should be a direct correlation. I also feel price point should not be a determining factor when handing out stars.
And that is why today I am taking a shot at Brenner’s co-reviewer, Mark Vamos. He writes a glowing review of Marc Cassel’s 20 Feet Seafood Joint and then slaps on two wimpy stars.
He writes:
The lobster roll: “honest roll to please a cranky Yankee.” (What more could you ask for in one?)
Oysters: “Bluepoint oysters on the half shell, served over ice. They’re briny and meaty — and, don’t hate me, so much better raw than our gulf oysters — and perfect with just a spritz of lemon.” (I don’t hate you. You’re right. But how can you use the word perfect anywhere in a two-star review?)
Other bites: “fine Mexican shrimp cocktail” “his justly praised Green Room mussels” “fish and chips are another unpretentious offering” (And you paid what for all of this goodness? Shouldn’t that count as a positive?)
I don’t have any connection to Marc Cassel or 20 Feet or Mark Vamos. It’s just that his review woke up dark dragon of anger that has been asleep in my brain. Mark, I’d love to hear how you arrived at two stars. Email lines are open. Operators are standing by. Except for Carol. She’s in Taiwan. Eating ramen. Like the pork belly ramen made by Marc Cassel.
Avner Samuel Closes Snack. Will Reopen New Concept Soon
The Avner.
Teresa “Gubbshoe” Gubbins is back on track at CultureMapDallas. Today she shines the light on yet another Avner Samuel restaurant malfunction. Samuel and his partner Jon Stevens have closed their global-small plates spot, Snack, and plan to reopen as something different in two weeks. Is the space jinxed? Yes. Was the food “too adventurous for the area and maybe for the city?” No. Should Avner just go back and concentrate on his core business? Yes.
I’ve watched Avner Samuel’s career for over 15 years. He is a brilliant chef and a lousy businessman. Someone is either giving him bad advice or bad money. Or both. Avner has survived too many restaurant closures to count and for a long time he couldn’t shake the image of “peripatetic Avner Samuel.” (Like lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge.) I was glad to see Avner and his wife Celeste succeed with Nosh Euro Bistro and I worried a bit when they opened a second location in Plano. But once he lost his focus and started futzing around with Ed Bailey at Bailey’s Prime Plus and opening Snack, I knew he was
toast. Avner, give it up. Go back to Nosh Euro Bistro and make it better. That is where you shine.
Look What I Made: Candied Pecans Recipe
Candied Pecans (photos by Travis Awalt)
There’s a reason why the pecan tree is the official state tree. (Mob connections, maybe?) They’re also located, conveniently enough, all over*- including a gigantic pair right behind my apartment.
Continue reading "Look What I Made: Candied Pecans Recipe"
4 Comments »Rocking Callaloo With Tom Spicer of FM 1410 in Dallas
Just when you feel like you are up to your eyeballs in Dallas douchebags, you get an email from Tom Spicer and somehow this city takes on more depth. Tom Spicer is a forager, a poet, a cook, and a nutjob. Today he’s selling amaranth greens used in creating callaloo, a delicious Caribbean soup especially when the pretty weeds are stewed in coconut juice. (Yes, there are variations in the spelling of the dish. I am using epicurious.com‘s version which is our style. Tom, of course, has his own. Hit it, Tirebiter.
Do not Dred Calaloo~
by Spiceman
From Kingston Town to Kat Mandu
there’s an edible green that’s good to stew
and this Jamaican spinach is sooo delicious too
So when nothing ventured means nothing gained
cook these nice greens but make sure they’re strained
then add some fresh lemon juice so their flavor’s contained
Amaranth greens in colors from green and red to a variegated hue
will capture your imagination, your heart, and make your happy tummy too
ok, there you have it… it’s the best I can do, say hello to my Jamaican friend, Rasta Calaloo
yous truly
Rast Spice
Hot Dogs! Getcha Hot Dogs! Brian Luscher Launches Luscher’s Post Oak Red Hots
We called it here: Hot dogs are the new hamburger. It’s raining wieners all over Dallas. Phil Romano and Zaccanelli Food Group are readying to roll out Hofmann hot dogs. Today we learn Chef Brian Luscher of The Grape is throwing his dogs in the fight. On August 11, “Da Lusch” will debut Luscher’s Post Oak Red Hots at White Rock Lake Market. What are Luscher’s Post Oak Red Hots? They are house-made, all-natural, Post-Oak-wood smoked, South-of-Chicago- inspired sausages which will be served with pickles, sport peppers, mustards and other condiments made from scratch resting on fresh-baked buns from Garland-based bakery, La Francaise. Whew!
Will they be available at Eatzi’s? Probably not. For now, you can find them at White Rock Lake Market which operates the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month from 8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. at The Green Spot Market and Fuels. Need another Facebook “like”? BTW, all of you Chicago skeptics, and you know who you are, Da Lush is from hog-butcher-to-the-world town. And use guys, brush up on yah 588-2300, and git intada market beesfour yah beeyatch.
5 Comments »Another Reason Why We Love Tom Spicer
Deep in a forest beyond the douchiness of Dallas lives free spirit, forager, and my fellow Firesign Theater fan, Tom Spicer. He’s the head fiddlehead over at Spiceman’s FM 1410. Today he sends this gorgeous photo and a note. I quote:
4 Comments »Do you… verjus? Harvested early this morning at Spiceman’s FM 1410 garden, Cabernet Sauvignon grapes that I bare rooted from canes brought to me from Benziger’s biodynamic vineyard in Sonoma County, CA. by my dear friend, Beat Kotoun of Korbrands Wine importers/marketers.3 years later, we are basking in their glow and so can you @ $10# CHEERS Spiceman, aka “Larence of Lakewood”
Teresa Gubbins to Join CultureMap Dallas
Jennifer Chininis: The Ferdinand Magellan of CultureMap.
Last week I reported PegasusNews was bought by the Dallas Morning News. In the post I pondered the whereabouts of ace reporter Teresa Gubbins. The rest of the PegNews staff are now employees of the DMN, but Gubbins didn’t make the move. (More likely, she wasn’t asked to make the move. She’s been there and done that.) Nobody could get TG on the phone so I offered a prize to the first person who could find her.
Earlier today I tweeted: Hey, I spotted @tgubbins coming out of a cartology class early this morning. She’s alive!
I just received a reply from former D Magazine managing editor turned CultureMap editor, Jennifer Chininis:
Hey, @DSideDish. We have an update on the whereabouts of @tgubbins. She’s with us! So, do we get a prize?
What is CultureMap, you ask? Right now it’s four former D Magazine employees sitting around trying to launch a new lifestyle website. I guess Gubbins ups that count to 4.5. TG still writes freelance for us.
No prize, Chininis. You didn’t read the fine print of the contest. They are: “contest not valid for individuals who leave D Magazine only to turn around and steal the talent.”
UPPITY DATE: Timmy has a CultureMap business story.
7 Comments »Hot Dog News! Get Your Hot Dog News! Takeru Kobayashi Joins the Hofmann Hot Dogs!
Eating Sensation: Takeru Kobayashi can eat 69 hot dogs.
Who is Takeru Kobayashi? What are Hofmann Hot Dogs? Have you been living as a homosexual in a cave?
Kobayashi, excuse me, Kobi (小林尊), is the “Japanese eating sensation” who has claimed “dozens of competitive eating titles, including downing a world record 69 hot dogs in 10 minutes in July 2011.” That is not a typo. SIXTY NINE. (He also inhaled 337 chicken wings in 37 minutes.)
This morning Hofmann Sausage Company of Syracuse and the Zaccanelli Food Group of Dallas signed Kobi (please don’t confuse him with this loser) “as a business partner and brand ambassador.” Kobi joins, wait for it, the “Dream Team of Hofmann ownership which includes Roger Staubach, Frank Zaccanelli, Phil Romano, and Jim Boeheim and drives the creation of a new business division designed to expand the U.S. and international reach of Hofmann Hot Dogs.”
In other words, Hofmann Hot Dogs, the oldest hot dog company in America, are now posed to become the new hamburger. If Dallas restaurateur Phil Romano has his way, every child in America will eat 2,000 pounds of Hofmann hot dogs a year. Romano plans to roll out hundreds (thousands?) of Hofmann hot dog restaurants across the country. First one is set to open in Trinity Groves.
If you don’t believe me, you can just jump.
If you don’t want to jump, you can watch Kobayashi eat…
Continue reading "Hot Dog News! Get Your Hot Dog News! Takeru Kobayashi Joins the Hofmann Hot Dogs!"
6 Comments »Coming Soon: Bolsa Food Market in Arlington?
Both Christophers, Zielke and Jeffers, of Bolsa Mercado confirm the shop opening up in Arlington has nothing to do with Bolsa Mercado in Bishop Arts. So, there you have it. Call anyway and ask them if it is true: 214-367-9367.
PizzaMania: “Like” Cane Rosso in Dallas on Facebook, Get $1 Pizza Tonight
Jay Jerrier is either the smartest restaurateur when it comes to using social media effectively or a total social media whore. The distinction doesn’t matter. He has 5,000 “likes” on his Facebook page and, to celebrate, he “doing $1 pizzas tonight at Cane Rosso from 6pm – 9pm.” His goal is to real 10,000 “likes” and do it again. Rules:
Tonight only at our Deep Ellum restaurant
- $1 Marinara, Margherita, or Focaccia…no additions or substitutions
- Dine In ONLY
- 6pm – 9pm…we open at 6pm!!
- Be nice to your servers (i.e. please tip them like you paid full price…a $0.25 tip is not cool)
- It is NOT BYOB tonight
Who knows what will happen if Facebook adds a “love” button. Let’s get this party started.
3 Comments »Restaurant Scam Alert: Order Needed For Pick Up
I can’t believe anyone would fall for this, but I’m throwing it out there just in case someone is tempted to believe this is real. The email address is contact@bolsa.com. I’m pretty sure those guys at Bolsa type better than this and they don’t know what Skype is.
Hello how are you doing today,My Name is Mrs Candy Moore , I will like to make an Order for Chicken Salad OR Sandwiches to feed 150 people is needed on the 15th JUNE is for my Mothers Birthday Party ,and it will be pick up 3pm on the event date Go ahead and get me the Total cost now..And also i want you to get back to me with your Information such as Full Name ,Restaurant Address and Phone Number or Cellphone Number so that i can text you as well …so that i can have it forward to the Private Carrier that will be coming with there Cold and Warmer Truck to pick up the Order …You can also talk to me on my Skpe … enrique.martinez310
Can anyone provide enlightenment on how this would ever work? I don’t get it.
11 Comments »Avner Samuel and Jon Stevens Ride Again: Snack Opens in Dallas May 22
The Avner Samuel; The Bailey. En fuego.
Whirling dervish chef Avner Samuel and his sidekick chef Jon Stevens are ready to open Snack, their “street-food-inspired-low price-points-small-plates-daily-chalkboard-special restaurant on Henderson in the space formerly known as Horne & Dekker. (Whew!) There will be three bar areas: one with cocktails, wine and beer; the second is a raw bar, but also includes a charcuterie element and hot small plates; the third, features a large wood-burning oven for made-to-order flatbreads and distinct hot dishes. (Whew!) Listen up:
From the age-old market-squares and bazaars to today’s street food vendors, SNACK is the creation of a street-to-table inspired menu. The menu includes dinner items such as short rib tacos with pineapple habanero and cilantro crema ($8), pork shumai dumplings ($9), chicken shawarmas with cucumber tahini and pickled onion ($8), and smoked oysters escabeche served with wood oven toasted bread ($7). The brunch menu features items from a pan-fried egg sandwich with Serrano ham and avocado ($13), to a charcuterie flatbread with pan-fried egg, arugula and herbs ($14); and “street tacos” a la carte with a small assortment of sweeter entrees, like coconut griddle cakes ($11), to choose from.
Bizarre is right! Let’s see, Samuel-Stevens now oversee two locations of Nosh Euro Bistro, Snack, the transition of Bailey’s Prime Plus from steak joint to a chef-driven kitchen, and the addition of the lavish Aurora Room to BPP. My guess is Samuel and Stevens already have their paws on the menu at The Chesterfield. What? You hear there will be more Nosh Euro Bistros if this relationship lasts? Oh, glorious Dallas dining. Are you coming back to life or going crazy?
UPDATE: Snack will have it’s own valet parking.
Open Letter to Mark Cuban: Shark Tank for Dallas Restaurateurs? I’d Watch it!
Bring it! Let's get this city turned around! (image swiped from ABC)
Dear Mark,
I am addicted to Shark Tank. And because I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to get on the show and present my idea, I’m using the power of my pudgy fingers to reach you. Let’s pick and roll:
I walk on the set of Shark Tank. “Daymond John, you are so out,” I say. “Barbara, if I wanted to sell my cellulite-reducing sous-vide hot dog you’d be my best friend, but I’m keeping it to myself. You’re out.”
I watch the other sharks glance around, really scared at this point, and go for the kill. “Kevin, don’t even open that ugly mouth. You’re out. Robert, you can buy me dinner after the show but, for now, you are dead to me.”
Cameras swing: Close-up of Cuban. Music swells.
Mark. We live in the same city. We love the same teams. More importantly, we eat in the same restaurants. Last night, our city’s finest chef, Bruno Davaillon of the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek, lost Best Chef in the Southwest at the James Beard Awards in New York City to a young chef in Austin who appeared on Top Chef. It has been 18 years since a Dallas chef won this title. We need a local version of Shark Tank geared towards Dallas restaurateurs. That way, you and I can work together to tighten up our game and turn it around. We have the talent, we need the exposure. And that exposure shouldn’t have to come from the Food Network or Bravo.
I propose we put together a panel of experts and ask restaurateurs to pitch their ideas BEFORE they decide to sink their life savings into an upscale seafood and sushi restaurant in a bad location. Let’s kick the steak house wannabes to Fort Worth. Mark, I’m asking you to invest whatever it takes to help us bring the talent of the Dallas restaurant community to the international scene. In exchange, I offer you fifty percent of my idea. Oh, and you can keep the Mavs.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Nancy
P.S. If this helps illustrate my talent: I promoted women’s basketball in Dallas before the Mavericks were a thought in your brain. Just ask Nancy Lieberman.
12 Comments »Spiceman Has The Goods: Get Your Fresh Produce Now for Easter and Passover Cooking
Tom Spicer sings the greens.
This note just in from the father of foraging, Mr. Tom “Spiceman” Spicer, over at FM 1410. Hear him type:
“Here are few quick peaks at my annual “Easter Grasskets: (living wheat grass in an basket with assorted colors of carrots, rainbow chard and a goose egg). Get ‘em while they’re hot. I have also reserved the artichokes and enough Easter Grasskets for my “Adopt-a-plot” peeps. (peep peep).”
Peep,peep yáll. Easter Grasskets is pretty good. Jump for all of the goodies Spiceman has in his garden. And adopt one of his plots. It’s cheaper than a dog. Continue reading "Spiceman Has The Goods: Get Your Fresh Produce Now for Easter and Passover Cooking"
Friday Fun: Cell Phone Camera Food Porn Video
George just sent me this video. It’s hysterical.
How To Avoid The Lines At In-N-Out Burger in Dallas
In-N-Out Burger, Pinole, California
I got sick of the long lines at the Frisco’s In-N-Out Burger location. It has become the only fast food place where I lose weight because of the time I spent queuing. I decided it would be quicker to fly to California, the ancestral home of In-N-Out, and eat at one in the land where residents consider it another fast food chain, not a place to worship an animal-style burger like a bunch of dazed zombies.
This is my new branch of In-N-Out. It is at the Pinole exit of I-80 (ICBM coordinates: 37.9894758, -122.3098301). For my In-N-Out induction I ordered a “double-double animal-style” ($3.25) along with fries animal style ($3.30) and a chocolate shake ($1.99). Let’s go through each: Continue reading "How To Avoid The Lines At In-N-Out Burger in Dallas"
9 Comments »This Pookies Donut is Borderline Offensive
After further investigation (read: Facebook stalkage), I found this donut with the caption: “Our very own Gay bar.”
This is just wrong.
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Guess the Name of This Dallas Restaurant
We had so much fun the first time we played this game. Let’s play it again. Can you guess the name of this restaurant?
20 Comments »