We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:
It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.
Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.
If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.
you know you want more. jump for it… Continue reading "This Little Piggy Went Downtown"13 Comments »
UPPITY DATE: This link from a adult beverage wholesaler.9 Comments »
‘Scuse me while I saddle up my high horse. Am I the only woman who is concerned about the sudden surge in Breastaurants. I mean really 35 additional Twin Peaks? A bar opening in downtown called The Spread Eagle? Seriously boys? How would you like to take your daughter into one of the restaurant’s the gals in our office just conceptualized. We call them Peteries.
Hunky Town, Twin Pricks, Tooter’s, Pecker’s Hot Italian Sausage, Tube Steak Junction, Cake Balls to the Walls, Nuts and Butts, Quickies, Long Dong Silver, Tally Whacker’s, Love Mussels, Wee Willie’s, Twig and Berries.
Ladies, the floor is open.53 Comments »
Ladies and gentlemen, and I use the terms loosely, it is officially raining burgers in Dallas. The latest twist on ground beef between two buns is Heart Attack Grill from Phoenix. I would have thought yesterday’s press release a joke if I hadn’t passed the original location in Phoenix a couple of years ago.
Their motto? “Treating anorexia since 2005.” Their objective? “Always keeping the patient’s budget in mind, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that all your meals are absolutely free once you reach the 350 pound goal weight. Imagine the joy of knowing you’ve finally achieved something!” Their sales pitch? “Doctors agree that continually cycling body weight up and down is one of the very worst things a person can do to themselves. That’s why our program is focused upon keeping your weight in an extremely stable, gradual, and constant upward slope.”
Whatever. You won’t have to wait long to be served a Quadruple Bypass Burger®, an order of Flatliner Fries®, a Butterfat Shake®, and a Taste Worth Dying For®–they are opening a location on Market Street in Dallas in June.
Looking for a job? “Imagine earning a great salary while giving away free food to people who weigh over 350 pounds!”
I have a sense of humor but this kinda makes me sick. Check out their website and give me your opinion. Have they gone too far or am I officially a fuddy duddy?15 Comments »
Steven “Dallas Dude” Doyle stunned the foodie world today by posting this shocking news on his FB page:
I resigned from The Dallas Observer and now full time at the Critic’s Guide that will premiere Monday morning.
The Critic’s Guide is the brainchild of Dave Faries, another dude who quit the Observer. Faries and Doyle will be joined by Mark Stuertz, yet another dude who quit the Observer. Why didn’t Dave just call it Food By Dudes? Critic’s Guide debuts on Monday. I FREAKIN’ CAN’T WAIT.8 Comments »
Disclaimer: Let me preface the following by saying that I was raised by Pennsylvania Dutch parents, which explains a lot about what I’m about to say:
When I was growing up, the list of what my parents “didn’t believe in” (mayonnaise, private cars, food made by strangers, and tuna from a can) was almost as long as the list of what they actively feared (avocados, botulism, spices of all kinds, and activities that attracted more than four people). That being said, both going to the State Fair and eating spicy foods were completely out of the question. (My only experience of going to a Fair came in 1976 when our elderly neighbors staged a pity-abduction and took my brother and me in the back of their wood-paneled Travelall. Sidenote: once we got there, I was both too thrilled and too afraid to eat anything.)
So, imagine the illicit charge I got (as both a food writer and Fair virgin) as I noshed my way through the tastings at last night’s Fair Food sneak peek in the Food & Fiber Pavillion. From this year’s bumper crop of TX commestibles, three standouts made my list for best bets for stocking the goodie-corner of my pantry.11 Comments »