Slow-cooked pork covered with caramelized onions and peppers.

Nick Badovinus and chef Dan Riley have been hunkered down for over a year developing the menu and creating all kinds of delicious roasted meats for Off-Site Kitchen. Today he is finally opening the doors!

Now, hold your horses. The dining room is tiny. Off-Site Kitchen is basically a take-out restaurant with a few stools inside and some picnic tables outside. Here are some pictures of what you can expect. The food, inspired by “what line cooks eat,” is basically simple sandwiches and breakfast burritos made from quality roasted meats. Roll the Badovinus quote of the year:

“It’s light industrial food,” he said. “It’s the kind of food you want to eat before you go solder something.”

Off-Site Kitchen will be open for lunch only from 10:30AM until 3PM for the next two weeks. Then the breakfast menu will kick in and they will begin serving at 7AM and will remain open until 7PM. “After we hit our stride, we’ll start rolling out the meat-by-the-pound program,” Badovinus said. “I’m so excited. This place is a real man cave.”

The original date for OSK’s opening was February 14, 2011. After Badovinus missed his mark, he decided to workshop the place and open on Valentine’s Day this year. “You see how many financial sacrifices I made to pay for my original vision,” Badovinus said. “I mean I’ve got a wheelbarrow of pork rinds down here. Who doesn’t love that?”

Badovinus was only half-joking about the Valentine’s Day opening. He and chef Dan Riley have used the Off-Site Kitchen space to tweak the menus of Badovinus’ other restaurants (Neighborhood Services, Neighborhood Services Tavern, and Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill). They also use the huge kitchen as a commissary for the other restaurants. The receive, portion, and distribute all of the meat and seafood at Off-Site Kitchen.

SOLDER, EAT, REPORT. No call-in orders. Plan to show up and wait.

[Also, Neighborhood Services Bar & Grill in Preston Royal will open for lunch in two weeks.]

The menu and photos are below.

Wheelbarrow of pork rinds.

Cherry cola pie.

Green chile cheeseburger.

First customer.

Anthony Bourdain on stage at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Last night, Anthony Bourdain fans packed the Majestic Theater. Baseball be damned, the worshipers of All-Things-Anthony showed up to lay themselves at the cowboy-booted feet of their hero.

Tony walked onto the stage at 8:10 and greeted the audience: “I am a whore. I am in every way compromised, jaded, bought and paid for, including my nice f—ing jacket.”

For the next hour and 45 minutes, the crowd hung on his every word. He was loose, casual, at ease, good-natured, straight forward, no bull. He was exactly the guy you see on TV, except, in person, you could see just how fine he wears boot-cut jeans.

After the show, we got to hang out with Tony and watch him sign books and greet his fans. Hundreds of folks bought books and stood in line to get his autograph. He walked into the VIP room and he very calmly said, “Look, I’m here and I’m not leaving until every book is signed, every picture is taken. I’m not in a hurry, so grab some food, have a drink, relax.”

I plan to write a longer report, but my day job calls. In the meantime, I’ll post the pictures that Tony most graciously allowed our photographer, Elizabeth Lavin, to shoot. Oh, and John “Jimmy Sears” Tesar was there. I mean everywhere. If you notice him in every shot, it is because he tried to get in every shot. At one point I thought he was going to start signing copies of Bourdain’s Medium Raw. He could have. That’s how he serves his burgers.

On to the show.

Bory Taft, Leena Varehese, Kim Chang Chung Lee. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

The Tony, The Tesar, The Brad. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Linda Tucker scores a photo op. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Bethlehem? No, the VIP room at The Majestic Theater after Anthony Bourdain's show. (Photo by ELizabeth Lavin)

Tesar hogs the spotlight. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

A Bourdain. A beer. A book. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

Nobody went home hungry. (photo by Elizabeth Lavin)

In the comments section of Reitz’s post, the ubiquitous Jon Alexis (jonfromtjs) made some remarks that rocked my opinion of One Arts Plaza. I admire Lucy Billingsley and her vision of creating a space where Arts District patrons can dine before and after a show. However, Jon pointed out the problems on Monday night. Snippets: “Commissary delicious but slammed, understaffed, and stressed;” “Screen Door, chef working bar, poor lady so frazzled she’s knocking glasses over;” “Jorge’s, one bartender for 20 people at the bar.” Both Tei-An and Fedora were closed.

Jon brings up a great point. “Can the restaurants not look at the schedule and see when a concert is sold out MONTHS prior that they should staff up?” I thought Screen Door offered pre-event dinners but perhaps they only run for larger events. The patio area is a perfect place to hang before and after events. I would think the already struggling restaurants would at least stick a buffet table outside and serve some drinks. Or call in the food trucks. This is a perfect scenario for One Arts on what would otherwise be a slow Monday night. I’m sure the Kathleen Edwards concert drew a crowd that would have returned to any of the places at One Arts Plaza if they’d been impressed. Now, all they remember are plastic packets of Pacman canapés made by Wolfgang Puck Catering. But don’t get me started on that again. (Wolfgang Puck? Why not a local caterer.)

I hate it all as much as I hated eating in Paula Deen’s restaurant in Savannah. I can still smell the cloud of burnt butter that met me at the door of Lady and Sons Restaurant. The portions were obnoxiously huge and I had to shower when I got back to my hotel.

The last time I visited the Fair, I sat at one of the picnic benches and watched a family of three eat their way through a pile of food. The husband and wife, maybe in their early 40s, were obese. The woman was in a wheel chair with an oxygen tank. The husband, who weighed at least 350 pounds, was shoveling food in his mouth using both hands. The saddest sight was their son. He couldn’t have been 12 years old and already on the verge of obesity. He was listlessly staring at the ground and gnawing on a huge turkey leg.

I can hear you crying: “It’s only once a year. Live a little. Have some fun.” I can’t. That isn’t fun or funny to me. It’s gross.

Here’s how it’s going to go down:

All participants will be required to make 1 specialty margarita at least 50 times. All contestants will be judged by the public. A total of $1000 will be awarded. $500 for 1st place, $300 for 2nd, and $200 for 3rd place to the bartender with the most votes. Join us for $20 per person to taste and vote for your favorite margarita meltdown. You get a wrist band to taste each entry and a chip to vote for your favorite one.

Just be sure to save some money for cab fare. This one sounds like a humdinger.

To learn more, visit the Dallas Margarita Fest website.

Nancy, here’s a terrible experience last night [Saturday] at Maple & Motor. It turned out okay but could have been much different: A rather disheveled woman driving a green Mazda (with Wisconsin license plates) was at Maple & Motor around 7:30pm. It was 103. She left her dogs in the car with the windows barely cracked open. There was the long line of folks waiting to order and I knew they would have been trapped in that hot car for at least twenty minutes. Poor dogs.

Apparently the staff at M&M called for the owner to let the dogs out. However two groups of customers also called the police. I contacted owner Jack Perkins. “We did have a situation like that,” Perkins said. “We did champion the welfare of the animals, as we always will. The customer, who was not a regular, went home, left the animals, called in, and picked up the order later. No human or animal was injured in the making of their hamburgers. Well. I suppose the cow was.”

Reader Reviews for KRLD Restaurant Week start next Tuesday!

Dishers! It’s that time of the year: KRLD Restaurant year month Week. The event kicks off on Monday, August 15 and beginning Tuesday, August 16, we will have a daily post dedicated to your reviews of the restaurants you sample during RW. We know a lot of chefs will be cooking their butts off for you and many servers will do double shifts. We ask you to send in the names of servers who treated you to over-the-top service and we will honor them on SideDish. (Take their picture!)

Last year KRLD Restaurant Week raised $605,500 for its supporting partners — the North Texas Food Bank (NTFB) in Dallas and Lena Pope Home in Fort Worth — with more than 100,000 prix fixe dinners served in 138 restaurants across Collin, Dallas, Denton and Tarrant County.

In case you were born yesterday:

KRLD Restaurant Week presented by Central Market, which showcases North Texas’ thriving culinary scene, features tasty three-course prix fixe dinner combinations priced at only $35/person (tax, tip and drinks billed separately). What’s more, consumer patronage helps support local fine dining establishments and two great charity partners. For every prix fixe meal purchased, participating restaurants will make a $7.00 donation to either the North Texas Food Bank in Dallas or Lena Pope Home in Fort Worth. Reservations are required, and diners should specify “KRLD Restaurant Week” when booking.

Book it here.

Round One: I received the following text from John Tesar at 11:20 p.m. Wednesday night: “Nick from Neighborhood [Services] just assaulted two of my staff and created a violent scene in my restaurant…Crazy drug drunk chef stuff. I was calm but he has lost his mind. Sorry for the bad news just wanted you to hear the real story.” I didn’t see the text until the next morning. I texted back: “Huh? Just got this. Call me when you get a chance.” A little after noon yesterday, Tesar texted back: “It’s just best to let this one go thank you.”

Oh, but we didn’t let it go. Jump.

UPDATE: Saturday, May 28, 2011. I have just had a long conversation with chef John Tesar. The bottom line is he is reversing the story he told me yesterday. Here is his statement. “I was wrong. It was an error in judgment. I did it to cover up the event. The only reason I did that is that I tried to protect everybody who was involved, not only myself. I had a selfish motivation. I didn’t want to draw attention to a brand new restaurant. At the same time I wasn’t going to throw another member [Badovinus] of my profession under the bus.”

Round Two: I let it go. Then came the first hey-did-you-hear email. Then another, and another, and another. At 6:30 p.m. yesterday, I received a phone call from a reputable person in the restaurant business. I have known this person for many years. He is a straight shooter. He told me he had just left The Commissary, where he’d had a conversation with John Tesar. According to my acquaintance, Tesar said Badovinus had been in the night before, and Tesar was pressing charges because Badovinus had created a scene. Tesar also said, “Boy, I would sure hate for Nancy Nichols to get ahold of this.”

Round Three: What? At that point, Tesar and I had already discussed the event. Even though I was skeptical of Tesar’s late Wednesday night text, followed by my friend’s Thursday afternoon report, I slept on it.

Round Four: This morning, I called Badovinus. He told me he and one of his chefs were out on town, celebrating the Mavs victory. They ended up at The Commissary. “I’ve never met John Tesar,” Badovinus said, “but the guy kept coming by the table and talking crap about my restaurants in front of my chef. My people work hard for me, and I will defend my business in order to keep them employed. But when a guy attacks my hard work, I’m gonna stand up.” Badovinus, who admits he’d been drinking, claims Tesar tossed several derogatory statements like “gotta get rid of those sweaters” his way. Badovinus got up and went over to Tesar. “I told him to meet me outside,” Badovinus said. “We went outside of the restaurant, and I told him to quit talking bad about my restaurant in front of my people.” Badovinus said he went back to the table, tried to pay the bill, and, when it was comp’d, he handed the waitress a hundred dollars. On his way out, Badovinus, accompanied by two Commissary staffers, says Tesar passed by him and provoked him by calling him a “pussy.” Before Badovinus could make a move, the two Commissary employees restrained him.

Round Five: No punches were thrown, but security was called. Badovinus talked to them briefly on the way to his car. Game off. Right?

Round Six: I called John Tesar around 2 p.m. today to tell him I was writing an account of what went down Wednesday night and to clarify some of the facts. “Nothing happened,” Tesar said. “I would tell you if it did. These kind of rumors are just being spread around about me by the guys at Smoke and Bolsa and Marquee. They are all just jealous.” I asked him about the text he sent me. “Somebody picked up my cell phone and was messing with you,” Tesar said. “I didn’t write it. I keep my phone at the end of the counter. It could have been anyone.”

Round Seven: Now I’m totally confused. I said, “So, Nick never said, ‘Let’s go outside?’ He didn’t tell you to quit talking trash about his restaurant?” “Nope. Never happened,” Tesar said. “I walked up to his table and talked about sous-vide burgers, and I may have said I wouldn’t work at his restaurant because of the white sweaters, but I walked away. That was the end of the story.” I asked him if he told anyone the next day that he’d filed charges and he said no. I asked him if he called Badovinus a “pussy” on the way out. “I was in the back,” Tesar said. “I didn’t know anything happened until the next morning.”

Round Eight: I just spoke with Michael Flynn, the sommelier at the Mansion, who was in the Commissary on Wednesday night. “I can’t tell you details because I didn’t see anything,” Flynn said. “But I did see the staff running out the front door, and I did see security taking statements from the staff in front of the restaurant.”

Decision: I’ve called security at One Arts Plaza and can’t get an answer. The PR rep did not answer her phone. Much ado about nothing? Probably. Chefs get into it all the time. However, it seems like when one of the chefs is John Tesar, the mess is always bigger.

In other seafood news, Sea Breeze Fish Market and Grill has a fresh batch of Copper River salmon and a fine selection of fresh fish.

Their motto? “Treating anorexia since 2005.” Their objective? “Always keeping the patient’s budget in mind, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that all your meals are absolutely free once you reach the 350 pound goal weight. Imagine the joy of knowing you’ve finally achieved something!” Their sales pitch? “Doctors agree that continually cycling body weight up and down is one of the very worst things a person can do to themselves. That’s why our program is focused upon keeping your weight in an extremely stable, gradual, and constant upward slope.”

Since I posted the arrival of Heart Attack Grill, the company’s 575-pound spokesman died. He was 29. Funny? Some people think so. Subtle? As a heart attack. Please stay with me here.

Now, let’s talk about In-N-Out Burgers, the burger chain that opened locations in Frisco and Allen yesterday. The founders and the folks behind In-N-Out Burger serve you fresh, albeit high-calorie food too. Their gimmick comes in the form of a secret menu offering double-double (two meats, two cheeses), 4X4 (four meats, four cheeses), high butterfat shakes, and fries covered in cheese. If you eat In-N-Out burgers everyday, you too can reach 350 pounds. But instead of throwing fat in your face, In-N-Out prints Bible scriptures on their packaging. Check the bottom of that soft drink cup and you’ll find Revelation 3:20: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” How many times you knock on that door is up to you. Your last supper could be at either restaurant.

Funny? No. Subtle? Yes, but to some people it is disturbing. I, for one, don’t like religion literally poured down my throat.

I was walking into a Dairy Queen in East Texas one sunny afternoon and the man who was walking out said, “Hello friends. Have you found the love of Jesus this fine day?” I let it pass but my 60-year old gay friend who doubles as an atheist was offended. He made a good point. He said, “What I’d have said to him is ‘hello friend, have you found the pleasure of homosexual sex today?’” His point? Don’t “force” your views on strangers.

All of the customers lined up outside In-Out-Burger yesterday didn’t seem to mind the words of Jesus wrapped around their burgers. However, there are some local folks who are horrified at the opening of Heart Attack Grill and the message is shines toward obese customers. One is Laurel Wright.

Laurel, her husband, and her son were all overweight. They felt there was no hope and they would be fat forever. They avoided going to the doctor and tried gimmicky weight loss programs. Her husband was taking two types of insulin. After Laurel hit size 22 she started to cook and eat healthier. Since then she has dropped 80 pounds, her husband is on half of his diabetes meds, and their son is down three pant sizes. She has her own YouTube library to prove it.

“Obesity is a huge problem. You feel like you have no hope,” Wright said. “I think the message that restaurant [Heart Attack Grill] is giving obese people is disgusting.”

Wright has organized a protest across the street from Heart Attack Grill. She and her band of healthy eaters will gather at 5AM and work in shifts passing out leaflets and fresh fruit. “I want them to know that there is hope,” Wright said. “You don’t have to be encouraged or get praise for weighing 350 pounds.”

Do you want Jesus or a heart attack with those fries? Tell me, I want to know.

If you’ve never been to an In-N-Out, you need to learn a few things about how to order. You don’t want to sound like an idiot and babble on about animal style if you don’t understand what animal-style means. You could end up (sorry) with something other than a cheeseburger. Remember, you are entering a sanctuary filled with a frenzied mass of cult worshipers. To help you, I have attached some must-know background information and our Newbie’s Guide to In-N-Out which illustrates and explains the secret menu.  So open these links, print them out, and study hard. It’s everything you need to know before you go.

Anybody else offering free margaritas in Dallas on Cinco de Mayo?

Update: Sevy’s Grill is offering complimentary Quervo Silver Margaritas or Palomas from 5 – 7 pm!