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Dallas Candy Corn War: Pick a Side and a Personality

Yesterday at 2:59 p.m., Dave “Fairies” Faries announced on City of Ate that he hated candy corn. At 4:29 p.m., Leslie “Catch a Falling Star” Brenner proclaimed, “Here at the Dallas Morning News, we love it.”

I’ve gotta go with Faries on this. That stuff is nasty. It tastes like wax-coated “sugar.” But if Dave Faries would ever talk to me, I’d like to ask him why he insists on doing these silly wine and “food” pairings. Why would you pair a wine with candy corn or Frito’s or other random junk food? I’m just curious.

However, Mr. Faries inspired me to explore the Internet and search for my identity. Here are the results.

According to this website, I am a Snickers Bar.

“You’re a nut. Like a Snickers bar. You like to be around people and you are friendly. You are a constant smile. Some people consider you overly energetic but if you stopped being so cheery, everyone would miss the real you.”

According to this website, I am a Sauvignon Blanc.

Engaging and energetic, you have a lot to offer the world – most of it they’ve never seen anywhere else! You are the type of person who carves your own path in life… and you invite everyone else to come along. The only thing predictable about you is that you could have anything up your sleeve. You’re all about sampling all of life’s experiences. Both the savory and unsavory ones.
Deep down you are: Laid back and young at heart
Your partying style: Anything goes… seriously!
Your company is enjoyed best with: Smoked meats or spicy food.

So, there you have me. What about you? La Brenner and Mr. Faries, I think it only fair you weigh in here. And Teegster, spit that candy corn out of your mouth and play. Anything goes!

Let’s Tell Restaurant Stories: Spill it Servers

Have you waited tables? If so, chances are you have enough juicy tales to fill a book. Here is one of my most memorable tables.

I was working at La Cave Wine Bar on Henderson and a man called ahead to reserve a table in the back of the room near the cellar. He said he was going to have a flower arrangement sent to the restaurant and he would like it placed on a table along with a champagne bucket filled with ice and a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon. He pre-selected a cheese and pate plate. “I don’t want my wife to have to think,” he said. “No problem sir,” I said. (Whoops.)

That evening the couple showed up on time. They were dressed to the nines. I can still see her silver sequined dress. She’d had her hair done by Mr. Larry across the street. She moved through the room and perfumed the air with the strong scent of Opium. The dapper gentleman pulled out her chair. They sat side-by-side. They held hands across the table. I moved in to open the Champagne. It was then that I noticed the 4X6 note cards on his lap. Pop! went the cork. She sliced a bite of aged Mimolette.

Jump with me. (more…)

Dallas Observer 2009 Best of Dallas® Food List: What do You Think?

Please don’t sue me for using your cover art.

I’m stuck at home in my little glass house. I see a few pebbles on the floor and I think I will toss them.

I just scanned through the Dallas Observer’s 2009 Best of Dallas® Food list. It reminds me of that Who song. What is it, Kirk? Something about the new boss and the old boss? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Bomp, bomp, bomp. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Dave Fairies, I have a quick question: Does the Observer repeat “Bests” if, when the next year rolls around, no one else  fills the category as “Better®?” (That’s mine, dude.)  This is a serious question and I ask it because I have to deal with the beast of ‘Bests” and understand the difficulty at uncovering them. So, Mr. Fairies, do you roll over “Bests” from year to year by moving them into different categories or because they are the “Best” of their original category? Let’s go through the list together and see. Jump with me. It’s not far. (more…)

TV With Laura: The Naughty Kitchen With Blythe Beck

Laura Kostelny, the managing editor of D Home, is a reality TV junkie. She likes to write about reality TV. Laura is going to file her assessment of last night’s episode of The Naughty Kitchen with Blythe Beck soon. I watched the last fifteen minutes and I know Laura very well. Stay tuned, I think we’ll have a lot to talk about.

Hot Dogs in Dallas: Double Dip Frozen Custard in Frisco

Bad picture of a bad Spicy Dog.

On September 3rd, I asked you guys an innocent question: What’s for lunch? I was jonsing for a hot dog. You all chimed in with suggestions and I headed out to try a few. First stop was Dog Stop. Then came Eddie’s Deli, Zinsky’s Delicatessen, and Wild About Harry’s. I ate two dogs in each place and even after eight, I was still happy to look for more.

Yesterday I drove to Main Street in old Frisco to try the dogs at Double Dip Frozen Custard. The sign our front claims: “Double Dip Famous Dogs. Large, Lean All-Beef Hot Dogs on a Wheat Bun!” The list of selections is rated by the number of napkins it takes to eat each dog. You’ll need two for the Spicy Dog with green chili relish and honey dill mustard. It takes at least three to handle the Chili Dog made with “Texas-style chili.” Four napkins will get you through their Super Dog “piled high with green chili relish, Texas-style chili, and chopped onions.”

What they desperately need on the menu are barf bags. (more…)

DMN & Eatsblog Loses Shannon Sutlief to Pegasus News

Yow. Zah. Pegasus News is, as my mother always says, chicken on fire. First they announce “Outbursts,” and now I learn on Twitter they’ve lured Shannon Sutlief from her perches at  DMN, GuideLive.com, and Eatsblog to the roost at PegNews.  I wonder if roost-ruling Teresa Gubbins (no link, Sweet Cheeks, I do have limits) will even talk to me anymore. She’s pretty big time now.

Pegasus News is Desperate for Comments: Develops “Outbursts”

Mike Orren needs your help. Keep your comments on SideDish.

I thought I was desperate for attention! Mike Orren, the wizard behind the Oz over at Pegasus News, has found another outlet for his ADHD—it’s called Outbursts. The feature is designed especially for your prefrontal cortex and encourages “verified users” to “post news and links on any local topic you like. All you have to do is click the “Post an Outburst” link on the Outbursts page.”  According to this “complete guide to ADHD site” symptoms of the disorder include “blurting out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences.” Check out Outbursts and leave your scathing comments here. Remember, we have prizes and they don’t!

Somebody Help This Poor Girl: Emergency Edition

I hate to overburden you people with work and I normally wouldn’t post two SHTPG items in one day, but this gal is in deep doodoo. Her tear-stained e-mail just arrived. She is miserable, help her off the ledge.

O.M.G. you guys, I totally forgot my boyfriend’s birthday. He is the kindest, gentlest, most giving man in the world and he just had to remind me that today is his birthday. To make things worse, this weekend he heard me planning a birthday party for one of my friends and he even loaned me the money to buy my friend’s birthday present. I feel like Jethro Tull’s heel. I need to pull off a miracle. I’ll do anything. Can your SideDish readers help me?

Make her hurt, peeps. How could anyone be so selfish and unthoughtful?

What is the Worst Meal You Ever Ate in a Dallas Restaurant?

I am asked this question many times. My taste memory is alive and not-so-well with memories of malicious meals that I not only ate, I paid good money to “eat.” So far, the worst meal I have ever experienced was served to me at gone-and-hopefully-forgotten Traci’s: scorched lobster shepherd’s pie and a spinach salad covered with old cheese and broiled. This year I’d have to say that the slices of dry pork fanned over a fistful of steamed cauliflower rolled in an ancho chile cream sauce I was served (twice) at Rathbun’s Blue Plate is now on my list along with a piece of wretchedly old bronzini at Bolla.  Et tu, Disher?

(Sign and T-shirts by Ellen Gribbs of Austin.)

KRLD Restaurant Week Reservation Swap

I’ve decided to sex up the photo for our KRLD Restaurant Week Reservation Swap post. The photo of  Brit and Madge is a Getty image and I’ll probably get reprimanded, but let’s enjoy it while it lasts.

Here are the rules: if you have an existing reservation at a participating RW restaurant, leave the date, time, restaurant, and number of people along with a contact e-mail below in comments. I will monitor the post and Twitter (DSideDish) any requests. I love to work. I really do. Be nice to each other. (Did Britney get a boob job?)

UPDATE: The Grape is up for grabs.

KRLD Restaurant Week: Reservation Swap

Yikes, I have created a monster. Despite the fact that the nice lady who needed to unload her resos at Stephan Pyles called me  “a better matchmaker than Chuck Woolery,” I can’t spend all day swapping out reservations. So here is what I will do for you: each morning I will post “KRLD Restaurant Week: Reservation Swap” after Reader Reviews. If you have a reservation that you aren’t going to use, you can do business in the comments section. Do not e-mail me. Post the restaurant, date, and time of the reservation along with contact info. SideDish, from Chowhound to Craigslist and Beyond.

KRLD Restaurant Week: Reservation Swap

I am here to help whenever I can. Disher offers this:

I have a RW reservation for 4 to Stephan Pyles Friday night at 8:30 that I can’t use.  I wouldn’t even bother with this but, IMHO, its a great reservation.

Email me if you’re interested. UPDATE: GONE

KRLD Restaurant Week In Dallas: Love It? Like It? Hate It?

Ferrets are sexually dimorphic predators.

I realize a lot of you love to dine out during KRLD Restaurant Week/Month. You get a three-course meal at these restaurants for $35 and some “proceeds” go to the North Texas Food Bank. Win-win, right?

Over the years, I’ve talked to a many restaurant owners, chefs, and servers who aren’t crazy about the promotion. Perhaps given the current state of business they’ve changed their tune. I’d like to know.

Anywhooo, last year, the finest ferret at PegNews, Teresa “Vicky Christina” Gubbins, wrote the piece I wish I’d written about Restaurant Week. Here is the hot link to her story which officially makes this “Link To Teresa Gubbins Week.”  (Group hug.)

At the risk of going all Eatsblog on you, I would like to know: Why do you like restaurant week? Why do you hate restaurant week?  I will tell you this: it is the worst month of the year to be a dining critic. Okay, let’s rumble like we’re on Las Ramblas.

SideDish, an equal opportunity hot link provider.

Evan Grant Is A Slacker: I Have To Do His Work. Again.

What you guys don’t know is that I was the one that broke Josh Hamilton’s Photo-Gate on InsideCorner last weekend while Evan Grant was face down in a hotel room in Anaheim. So you won’t be surprised when I have to make you aware of Evan’s next promotional gig: Tomorrow,  Pappasito’s Cantina (located at 10433 Lombardy Lane in Dallas) will host a game-watching party featuring former Texas Ranger players. (The current players are in Cleveland.) RUSTY GREER will be there! Fajitas for two will only be $16.25! Evan will be there! It all starts at 5:30 p.m. Admission is free. For additional information call 214-350-1970.

Bonathon Responds To Challenge By Fake Bonathon

Did you miss the high drama from last Friday? Josh Storie, an intern at Levenson & Brinker PR, challenged our intern, Bonathon, to a duel.  This is all still sooo Facebook. Bonathon fires back:

To the fake Bonathan or as henceforth shall be known as: Fonathan,

You’re clever, I’ll give you that. Quick with your words and clearly eager to prove your mettle as you found it within yourself to actually challenge the original. But let it be known, no one challenges me and gets away with it. Unless you are bigger than me, which in that case, by all means “no I was not looking at your girl funny.” That said, I am Steve Perry, and you are that guy from the Philippines. You might sound like me, and carry the same swagger but I was here first and I rocked harder than Nic Cage on Alcatraz. AMERICA. (more…)

Science Project: Making Wine At Vintner’s Cellar In Plano

Fueled by the Lee Fuqua controversy in early May, I decided to make my own wine. I’ve toured hundreds of wineries but I have never gone through the complete processes of constructing a wine. I picked Vintner’s Cellars in Plano for my laboratory and with the help of owner, Larry McDowell, I began the long process of creating my own Viognier out of grape juice from Chile. (Here is my first report. And here is my second.)

Over the last few months, I have returned to Plano to participate in every step. On Friday, I returned for the last time. We siphoned the wine off the lees, tasted it, tweaked it to my specs (I added sugar,and hints of grass and apricot), bottled, and labeled 30 bottles. As I said before, I set out to produce something light, fruity, and sassy. The wine needs to sit until late December. Then we will decide if it is perfect or plonk. Or perfect plonk. (Did you note I said “we”?)

Please understand, this is not a paid advertisement or promotion. This is a venture I sought out on my own. I learned a lot about wine making. Like patience. You must have patience. BTW, I hope my sixth grade teacher, Miss Hyde, at Arthur Kramer Elementary School sees this video. She was always dissappointed in my early science projects. Perhaps she will be around when I pick up my double gold medal.

Picking Grapes At Kiepersol Winery In Bullard, Texas

See those grapes to the left? Today, they will be mine. Our staff photographer, Elizabeth “Spider Monkey” Lavin and I are out in East Texas doing a feature on Kiepersol Winery. It’s harvest time and today, while Spider Monkey is taking pictures, I will be harvesting grapes. Twitter reports (DSideDish) to follow.

A Blog Post To Julie & Julia Author Julie Powell

Julie Powell last night at the DMA.

Tomorrow morning when the New York Times best seller list is released, Julie Powell’s book, Julie & Julia, will be in the number two position. Not bad for a former underpaid secretary-turned-blogger-turned-book author- turned-guest lecturer at last night’s Arts & Letters Live program and the Dallas Museum of Art.

Before last night, I made my feelings about the movie and Ms. Powell pretty clear—I didn’t particularly care for either one of them. The movie was nice, but I don’t like nice overly sweet movies. I can’t comment on Julie Powell’s book or blog because I haven’t read them.  I admitted that, right or wrong, I am extremely jealous of her rags-to-riches-by-blogging success.

Last night, Ms. Powell appeared at the DMA to speak and answer questions. The main hall was filled to capacity and another crowded room watched via closed circuit. SHE IS A FOOD BLOGGER. She does not have the cure for AIDS.

The good news is that I had a chance to tell Julie Powell, in front of a live audience, that I didn’t like her. I told her I was an insanely jealous food blogger and I wanted to know how in the hell she scammed this whole movie deal. You know what she said to me? “Yes, the bloggyness now is so different. I would want to throw me under a bus, too.”

I love her.

And I’m sending her a love letter.

(more…)

Rant Recall: Houston’s In Dallas

Last month I wrote:

I don’t get Houston’s. Sorry, I have better things to do than to wait 45 minutes and pay $17 for a French dip sandwich. If I hear one more restaurateur describe a new concept as “it’s kinda like Houston’s but…” I will scream…There is some magic fairy dust somewhere in their corporate being. Somebody explain it.

About forty of you told me, quite nicely, where to shove my opinion. So I decided to give it another try. Jump for my love of Houston’s. (more…)

SideDish Movie Screening In Dallas: Julie & Julia

Last night, the Dallas Museum of Art and Arts & Letters Live hosted a private screening of Julie & Julia. If I have to write even one sentence to describe what this movie is about, you might as well skip this post and go here.

Several Dishers attended, and I await their reviews below. I am not a movie reviewer, but the following is my Sybil-esque recap. (I say Sybil-esque because I had two strong and separate reactions to the film.)

Full disclosure: I have not read Julie Powell’s book or blog. I am extremely jealous of her rags-to-riches-by-blogging success. Also, other than Lions for Lambs, the movie she did with Tom Cruise, I have enjoyed watching every film Meryl Streep has ever made. (“I haaad a faaaarm in Aaaafricaaa…..” slays me every time.) Okay, here goes: (more…)

Good Doggie Bag Gone Bad

Last night, I invited three friends to eat at Firefly in North Dallas. We ordered a lot of food. We asked them to pack the leftovers. This is a picture of one of the bags after I picked it up from the stained carpet on the floor of the car. Mind you this was only ONE of the FIVE containers that leaked. My question is simple: Why do restaurants package their sauce-laden dishes in Styrofoam containers with flimsy tab locks?

Quick Review: Newflower Farmers Market in Plano

Lots of cheap cheese at Newflower Farmers Market in Plano.

Lots of people are talking about how much they love, love, love Newflower Farmers Market. Yesterday I had a chance to take a quick stop at the shop in Plano.

Short take? If I passed this market on my drive home from work, I would stop in for some groceries. However, I will not drive to the store. Why? I discovered several rotting items on the shelves. And I was only in the store for ten minutes.

First the good news: I bought a bunch of five big sunflowers for $6.99. Blue Bell vanilla ice cream is .20 cents cheaper than my Albertson’s. Romaine lettuce was only .88 cents. (Last week I paid $1.59 at same Albertson’s.) Cheese is cheap but the selections are basic and not sourced—huge chunks of generic cheddar, Jack, peppered Jack, and Swiss, etc.

On to the downside: Most of the produce was ABT (anywhere but Texas) and you had to have powerful reading glasses to find the source. I’d heard that the prepared food was the great thing about Newflower—cheaper and better than Central Market and Whole Paycheck Foods. I wanted to compare the chicken salad prices but, at noon, they were out of it, so I settled for a small container of egg salad ($1.57!) As my nieces say, “Yuck-a-doo.” Well, unless you like runny mustard with hard bits of hard-boiled eggs.

Bad picture of rotting lettuce. Click it, it gets bigger.

I picked up a family-size container of Organic Girl Spring Mix baby greens and turned it over to read the label. Streams of brown water flooded from front to back. The lettuce near the edge was rotten and soggy. The “sell by” date was July 2. (Yesterday was July 9.) There were 8 more packages in the refrigerated case. When I started to unload my cart at check out, I realized that a pint of whole milk mozzarella packed in liquid had leaked all over my National Enquirer other groceries. I looked closer at the tiny balls of cheese—they were all brown and stuck together.

I’d like to go back and price the whole foods, nuts and meats. Maybe I’ll go later today—after I toss out my drooping sunflowers.

Even Vincent would not be happy.

I Had Lunch With Harvey Gough and All I Got Was Another Black Eye

Harvey threw this steak at me.

Seriously. Earlier this morning I walked into Buzzbrews on Lemmon and as I approached the table where sat one Harvey Gough, he reeled his hand back and threw a frozen steak at me. AGAIN.

It seems like yesterday that I was sitting in a cargo container on an isolated Air Force base in Uzbekistan with an ice pack on my eye after Harvey had hit me in the face with a frozen sirloin. In case you missed the escape, it’s all here in black, white, and red.

Anywhoo, Harvey and I never kissed, but we made up. He’s now happily married and has a gorgeous 4-year old daughter who looks just like her mother. Besides our trip in late 2002, Harvey has taken many missions overseas to feed the troops.

Harvey and I met today to discuss another (im)possible mission. I’m sure it will never happen, but it’s always fun to listen to “Harvey Stories.” I know, you either love him or hate him—the stories of his abuse to customers at his Goff’s Hamburger store are almost (he wishes) legendary. But he has some tales that, if published, would be a best seller. (Oh, let’s cast the movie!) I can’t tell you all of the things going on with Harvey—he’s got a few irons in the fire. But stay tuned. There will be news. Hey Harvey, DUCK!

Dear Kirk, Wake Up and Smell the Eats!

Kirk is a frequent commenter here on SideDish. He likes to point out all of my mistakes. Kirk is always busy because I make a lot of them. Anywhoo, I just wonder how in the foodie world Kirk didn’t catch this one by Kay the writing teacher over on Eatsblog! She writes:

“It’s Kay, guest blogger and instructor for SMU’s food writer’s workshop Cathy wrote about yesterday. While Leslie Brenner gathers ideas about where to take out-of-towners when they come to Dallas and Ft. Worth. What’s your secret to finding food lover’s favorites in other cities in the US and around the world? We all know about the cab driver and hotel concierge, what’s new?”

Why do you only correct me? Is this the only blog you like to be right on? Where you going to get around to this later in the day? Operators are standing by!

Nancy Flunks Geography: Columbia River is Not in Alaska

Alaska is not on this map

I like maps and I’m glad an eagle-eyed reader named Kirk likes maps too. Kirk sent me this map. It’s the Columbia River. I referred to the Columbia River in an earlier post about salmon. I mistakenly said our next batch of king salmon was coming from the Columbia River in Alaska. Maybe there is a Columbia River in Alaska and perhaps there is a salmon or two swimming around or up it, but the salmon available in markets now comes from the river you see to the left. Thanks, Kirk. I will now go jump in a lake.