Articles about I’m about to get fired
Call for Video Auditions: Do You Want to Star on SideDish TV?
Wick Allison, D Magazine’s chairman and editor in chief, is in the process of developing a local television channel called D-TV. So far, he has refused to consider any type of local, food-related show. He’s out of town this week so I’m gonna run his show.
If you have an idea for a food show, leave it below. If you would like to star in your own idea for a food-related TV show, get out your smart phone, hit video, upload your video to Vimeo or YouTube, and email the link to me at nancyn@dmagazine.com. State your name, show idea, and then pitch the hell out of it. Please keep your ramblings to a minute or less. Use props, friends, dogs, food, whatever you want, but keep it (reasonably) clean.
This is not a joke. This is a genuine call to arms. Each audition tape will be posted on SideDish and sent to our D-TV producer, Janice Tomlin. Note to Wick: Don’t ever tell me I can’t have something. Come on y’all, kick up some sass. Send ASAP. Will run them through next Friday…
2 Comments »Help Me Get SideDish on TV
The Wicked.
In case you missed Tim’s announcement last month:
D Magazine Partners (the magazine’s parent company) and London Broadcasting have announced a partnership that should make the local television landscape look a little more interesting. London, a local firm, owns a unique property called KTXD. It is an independent, must-carry station in a major media market. That means it is not beholden to a network like CBS or NBC, and the FCC requires that local cable providers carry it. Right now, KTXD broadcasts a lot of old classics but it plans to transition to all local programming. That’s where we come in. The station will rebrand itself as D-TV one show at a time.
So far we have several shows in production and the staff is encouraged to submit ideas. I pitched a couple of food-related shows to our publisher, Wick Allison, and he refuses to listen to me. I have emailed, called, and left voice mails with ideas. I need your help convincing him SideDish deserves a show. The possibilities are endless. Get creative and we’ll put you on TV!
30 Comments »Nothing To Do With Dining Unless You Were Eating While You Were Watching “Dallas: The Next Generation” Last Night
Now he can go home.
I’m sure the web editors will take this post down as soon as I turn my back, but I can’t help myself. While we have the space, let’s talk.
Last night I chomped on one of Papa Murphy’s pizzas as I attempted to watch “Dallas: The Next Generation“ on TNT. I lasted 20 minutes. I’ve seen some horrible television, but last night’s show was eye vomit. It took this city 20 years to get over the stereotypical characters in the original show. Please tell me TNT pulls the plug before we have to go another 20 to prove that we don’t drill oil wells in the Dallas area without the owner of the land knowing about it?
8 Comments »Copper River Salmon is All Over Dallas Like Hot on Fries
The city of Tacoma turned out to welcome their first Copper River Salmon delivery. Maybe we can do the same next year.
Please excuse the generic post. I am on beyond blown deadline (BBD). Thanks to the many restaurants and fish markets that emailed the news: Copper River Salmon is Here! I can’t post you all, so if you’d like to sell yourself, do so below. Well, you know what I mean.
5 Comments »Monica Greene is Making Some Changes: She’s Leaving Monica’s Aca Y Alla to Open Monica’s Nueva Cocina and ME Lounge
Monica Greene has never been afraid of change. Moments ago she told me she is leaving the business of Monica’s Aca Y Alla in Deep Ellum to her partners who will close the restaurant at 2914 Main Street, remodel the space, and reopen as a yet-to-be-named Mexican restaurant. Monica is moving all of her energy over to the iLume Building on Cedar Springs where she has been in the planning stages of opening Tajin. When the Sushi Axiom closed, Monica decided to take the space and open up the walls of Tajin into the space and create a new concept. The 7,600-square food space will now be Monica’s Nueva Cocina and ME Lounge. It was a difficult decision for Greene to leave Deep Ellum where she has been a major player for over 20 years. More on the food later. Monica has written a letter to YOU. It’s below.
UPDATE: Monica is on her way to Houston. I got lucky when she answered her cell phone. “This [move] has been a real struggle for me,””Greene said. I’ve always been committed to urban development. I believe in Dallas but unfortunately the area [Deep Ellum] has taken a long time to develop. It’s time for me to expand and open my doors to a larger audience.”
I say, you go girl. It’s a great move. She has been in, what I would call, an abusive relationship with Deep Ellum for a long time. It’s time she made a fresh start. That girl has some balls. Oh, wait. Nevermind.
22 Comments »Southern Comforts Roadhouse Grill to Open in Dallas
Yep, that is what the website says. According to Little Miss Snitch, the restaurant will occupy the vacated Victoria Hall space at Andrew Ormsby’s catering space on Ross Ave. Should be open at the end of July.
UPDATE: Little Miss Snitch sez she thinks it will be operated by Mr. Ormsby. Open in late July.
1 Comment »Open Letter to Mark Cuban: Shark Tank for Dallas Restaurateurs? I’d Watch it!
Bring it! Let's get this city turned around! (image swiped from ABC)
Dear Mark,
I am addicted to Shark Tank. And because I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to get on the show and present my idea, I’m using the power of my pudgy fingers to reach you. Let’s pick and roll:
I walk on the set of Shark Tank. “Daymond John, you are so out,” I say. “Barbara, if I wanted to sell my cellulite-reducing sous-vide hot dog you’d be my best friend, but I’m keeping it to myself. You’re out.”
I watch the other sharks glance around, really scared at this point, and go for the kill. “Kevin, don’t even open that ugly mouth. You’re out. Robert, you can buy me dinner after the show but, for now, you are dead to me.”
Cameras swing: Close-up of Cuban. Music swells.
Mark. We live in the same city. We love the same teams. More importantly, we eat in the same restaurants. Last night, our city’s finest chef, Bruno Davaillon of the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek, lost Best Chef in the Southwest at the James Beard Awards in New York City to a young chef in Austin who appeared on Top Chef. It has been 18 years since a Dallas chef won this title. We need a local version of Shark Tank geared towards Dallas restaurateurs. That way, you and I can work together to tighten up our game and turn it around. We have the talent, we need the exposure. And that exposure shouldn’t have to come from the Food Network or Bravo.
I propose we put together a panel of experts and ask restaurateurs to pitch their ideas BEFORE they decide to sink their life savings into an upscale seafood and sushi restaurant in a bad location. Let’s kick the steak house wannabes to Fort Worth. Mark, I’m asking you to invest whatever it takes to help us bring the talent of the Dallas restaurant community to the international scene. In exchange, I offer you fifty percent of my idea. Oh, and you can keep the Mavs.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Nancy
P.S. If this helps illustrate my talent: I promoted women’s basketball in Dallas before the Mavericks were a thought in your brain. Just ask Nancy Lieberman.
12 Comments »Men Will Be Boys: Finalists Announced for “Name a Pizza for Mike Napoli” Contest at Cane Rosso
It was bound to happen: pizza lover and baseball writer, Evan Grant, finally met pizza maker and baseball lover, Jay Jerrier. The twosome came up with a publicity stunt. (SHOCKER) They invented “Name a Pizza for Mike Napoli” contest. (If you don’t know who Napoli is, you can go back to work.) If you love the catcher-first-baseman-DH lovingly referred to as “Dirtbag,” you will love this: Today, Grant and Jerrier announced four finalists plus Grant’s unofficial “look-how-funny-I-am”entry, “The (he wishes) Grand Salami.” Hear him brag:
2 Comments »After much consideration, pizza-maker extraordinaire Jay Jerrier and pizza-eater extraordinaire Evan Grant (that’s me), have come up with four finalists for our Name a Napoli Pizza contest.Tuesday (Feb. 7 or tomorrow to most of you), we will roll out some samples of these fine entries for you to taste and, as always, the full Cane Rosso menu will be available. One of these fine recipes will end up as a special pie on the Cane Rosso menu for the next month and one of these neophyte pizza creators will walk away with a nice little prize package. Maybe we can come up with some other surprises, too. So, if you are free come on down. We’d love your input here and at the restaurant. Here are the finalists. Be there at 7PM.
The Perfect Procrastination: How To Boil an Egg
My perfectly boiled egg.
As you can tell from the headline, I am deep in the process of procrastinating. While my real job calls for thousands of words about dining, I am convinced it is far more important that I drop what I am supposed to be doing and answer a question sent to me by PR boy toy Jef Tingley. Yes, he spells his name with one “f,” but I will save that analysis for a later procrastination post.
“Jef with one f” asked me how to boil an egg. Don’t laugh. How many times have you had tiny shards of shell pierce the delicate skin beneath your fingernail? I shared my secret with “Jef with one f” by private message on Facebook which made several people curious enough to email and ask (BEG!) for my secret.
You are going to have to jump hard. Continue reading "The Perfect Procrastination: How To Boil an Egg"
11 Comments »Let’s Talk Boxing Day in Dallas!
Hey, hosers! How’s it going, eh? What are your plans for Boxing Day? Betcha Yanks a toonie you didn’t know SideDish is freakin’ huge in Canada! Yep, it’s true, eh? Last time I was in Toronto (Toronnah) I spied some Canadian idiot sporting a toque (two-k) with a big red D on it! My brother-in-law went all Don Cherry on me and said the D stood for Detroit (dee-troi-e-ot). What else would you expect from a pansy Red Wings fan? (Q: What do you call 5 Detroit Red Wings players standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!)
I love Boxing Day, the first business day after Christmas. All of Ontario closes and we sit on the chesterfield and chow down on donuts, beer, macaroni and cheese, and watch hockey. The NHL pretty much owns Canada on Boxing Day now. They have TEN GAMES scheduled. My friend’s mum puts out (uhoot) a hellofa buffet (boo-fay). And k.d. lang always sends me a fruit cake. Go Leafs! (Q: Why don’t the Leafs drink tea? A: Because the Canadiens have all the cups.) And hello Peterborough!
9 Comments »My Go-To Holiday Pot-Luck Party Recipe: The Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree
My Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree contribution to D Magazine's holiday party.Circa 2008.
Three years ago, I introduced you to Charles Phoenix, the “Ambassador of Americana.” More importantly, I introduced you to his “recipe” for the Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree. (I made several for the D Magazine holiday party in 2008. Co-workers still stalk me for my secret herbal ingredient.)
Well, thanks to SideDish, Phoenix’s career and has catapulted over hosting grade school field trips and roller skating parties to doing national TV spots with Martha Stewart and commenting on NPR. (Rawlins in drag?) I think it’s time to bring back the Astro-Weenie recipe. Remember, as they say in England, you can always make one suitable for vegetarians. Mind your head.
This Little Piggy Went Downtown
Oh yeah, it's for real.
We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:
- Yes, this is really real.
- Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
- And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
- Sorry, Mom.
It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.
Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.
If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.
you know you want more. jump for it… Continue reading "This Little Piggy Went Downtown"
13 Comments »Hey Dallas, What Would You Ask Anthony Bourdain?
My question: What is behind that bone? (Photo by Melanie Dunea from the book, My Last Supper)
Anthony Bourdain will be at The Majestic tonight. Tickets are still available. I understand there will be a Q&A segment in the show. Can’t go? Send me your questions. I’ll try to get them answered.
Oh, and Tony. Tonight is the sixth game of the World Series. Our Texas Rangers could be champions before your show is over. You’ve will have hard core Rangers fans in the audience with DVRs recording the game. Please do not give game updates. That goes for you fans in the audience. If I see one of you on your cell phone getting game results, I WILL CUT YOU.
8 Comments »Get Ready for New Groovy Swag at the State Fair of Texas
Get it? Corn dog. Hah!
Here is a preview of some of the hip new t-shirts carnival workers will be wearing when the Texas State Fair opens on Friday. They were designed by the Belmont Icehouse in Deep Ellum. They will be available for purchase.
Continue reading "Get Ready for New Groovy Swag at the State Fair of Texas"
4 Comments »Former Dallas Observer Dining Critic Hanna Raskin is Off Her Rocker
Earlier this morning, I received a link to a Seattle Weekly blog post written by former Dallas Observer “critic” Hanna “Sudafed” Raskin and planned to write a rebuttal. Eater “Up at Dawn” Dallas beat me to the punch. However, I would like to throw a few more. Her post– “Professional Food Critics Not Needed in Portland”– is embarrassingly amateur. Read it, I’ll wait.
This quick assessment from a professional food critic who reviewed Dallas restaurants while taking copious amounts of sinus medication? After my ENT doctor read about Raskin’s sinus problems, he called me and said: “She had no business reviewing restaurants. Her palate was dead.” If I were a restaurateur who was reviewed during her reign, I’d be demanding a redo. No wonder she called Dallas a “dining nowhereville.” She wasn’t able to taste anything. She blathers on:
I shouldn’t be surprised that the imagined relationship between rigorous professional criticism and good food doesn’t hold up. I moved here from Dallas, a city that’s covered ruthlessly by established food critics, including the Dallas Morning News‘ Leslie Brenner, D Magazine‘s Nancy Nichols, and Texas Monthly‘s Pat Sharpe. The food there isn’t any better for it.
Hanna, you take one trip to Portland and declare “Portland appears to have entered the post-professional critic era, and the food scene hasn’t suffered.” Oh my. I need a Xanax. Writers in Portland were sadly laid off by print publications. Raskin should be next.
21 Comments »What Would Happen if Women Opened Restaurants With Male Body Parts as Themes
‘Scuse me while I saddle up my high horse. Am I the only woman who is concerned about the sudden surge in Breastaurants. I mean really 35 additional Twin Peaks? A bar opening in downtown called The Spread Eagle? Seriously boys? How would you like to take your daughter into one of the restaurant’s the gals in our office just conceptualized. We call them Peteries.
Hunky Town, Twin Pricks, Tooter’s, Pecker’s Hot Italian Sausage, Tube Steak Junction, Cake Balls to the Walls, Nuts and Butts, Quickies, Long Dong Silver, Tally Whacker’s, Love Mussels, Wee Willie’s, Twig and Berries.
Ladies, the floor is open.
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Guess the Name of This Dallas Restaurant
We had so much fun the first time we played this game. Let’s play it again. Can you guess the name of this restaurant?
20 Comments »