The crowd watching Jerrier's TV debut.

Jay Jerrier invited me (and about 400 other people) via Facebook to his restaurant, Cane Rosso, to watch his debut on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Yesterday morning, I got a text message from Cane Rosso’s automated database system that Jerrier was going to host a watch party at 9PM.  I also noticed several tweets about the party. (There’s a reason he’s a nominee for best tweeter.)

My husband and I got there early. We knew the kitchen would close around 8:30PM so the staff could watch the show, and we assumed the 400 Facebook friends would be early, too. Turns out, we were a little too anxious. Around 7:30, we had no problem getting a seat. Jerrier was cooking up a storm. But around 8:30PM, he took a break and started walking around. At one point he looked out the window, said something about moving his car, and rushed out. Then we saw the food truck Enticed roll up. Next thing we know, SsahmBBQ pulled up along side.  Jerrier came in and announced that it was all on the house. People ran out to get their shaved ice and Korean tacos just in time to watch Jerrier’s performance on DDD.

I wish I could break down the segment for you, but I can’t. There was a lot of applauding and cheers, so I missed some of what was said. And while the crowd was frenzied, Jay stood stoically and watched the show. His wife and kids were there as well. I planned on rewatching the segment when I got home, but there was a little game on and it took precedence. But I can tell you this: the pizza looked amazing, the shots of the pasta made us wish we had ordered pasta, and Jerrier did a great job. Also, he’s a really great host. (He’s even been kind enough to allow people to order ranch dressing at his restaurant. Kinda.)

Hey All – just got our air date from the Food Network…we’ll be on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives on 4/30.  We’ll for sure have some kind of watching party at Cane Rosso.  They didn’t tell me the theme of the episode (overrated blowhards??) or what other restaurants will be on it…as soon as I know I will pass it on.

Part 1: Quickfire/Asian Domination

Last week, the chefs realized that one of the losing contestants (either Bev or Grayson) would be returning through Last Chance Kitchen, which would increase their numero to cinco. Sarah (who looks like Austin Eater editor Andrea Grimes, don’t you think?) is noticeably disappointed when Bev walks through the doors to compete with the other four in this elimination challenge because tiny Bev is a fierce competitor. She is a beast.

Now three out of the five contestants are repping the Asian continent. I would just like to point that out. #minoritypride

Jump for more shenanigans.

Padma then tells the chefs they have to walk around with blindfolds as they’re gathering ingredients. They must use every single ingredient they pick up, and the winner gets to choose between a new Prius v or a spot in the final four. Poor Bev. Half of the time, she is nowhere near anything edible; and the other half, she is feeling everybody up. (Not a bad excuse to bump into Paul, eh?) Bev and Paul undercook their fish and prawn (respectively) while Sarah and Ed’s dishes stand out to the judges. Ultimately, the corn soup with red chili and peaches that Sarah whipped up earns her a spot in the final four. She declines the Prius v (dumb, so dumb..) and chooses to spend the rest of her day lollygagging instead of competing in the elimination challenge. LUCKY HER.

Part 2: Elimination Challenge

Tom and Padma introduce the next part of this saga: The cheftestants must create a dish that will please their mentors. Somebody cue the waterworks. As soon as the mentors file in, Paul spots his Uchiko boss of eight years, Tyson, and immediately turns into a blubbering fountain of tears. Eventually, all the chefs start crying as introduce their mentors to the judges. Then the mentors start tearing up too, and the whole situation just turns into a big gooey mess.

Nobody wants to make their mentor look bad at the judging table, so the pressure is on. Since there aren’t any fresh oysters in Whole Foods, Ed picks up pre-smoked oysters which everyone knows is a dumb move except for Ed because he’s stressing himself out. Ugh. While Ed’s in the kitchen cooking his stupid smoked oysters, he says, “I just hope I didn’t psyche myself out.” Double sigh. Bravo, please keep all the heavy foreshadowing to yourself. I don’t want Ed to leave.

Part 3: Judging Table

While Sarah is off frolicking with her mentor, Paul cooks a chilled sunchoke and dashi soup, Bev fires up BBQ noodles with a risky wok move, Ed makes braised pork belly with pickles, and Lindsay adds too much cream to her seafood stew with mussels and clams. When the judges realize Ed bought smoked oysters instead of fresh ones, Padma nicely tells Ed to “please pack his knives and go.” Oh, Ed. Whyyyy did you have to pick those stupid smoked oysters? It’s OK, though, because at least this means I get to see you tomorrow with Michelle Obama.

Episode 15 Preview

The fearsome final four are in British Columbia, cooking Canadian game in thick jackets and snow boots. Is anyone else confused? I thought this show was supposed to be about Texas.

But hark! This morning comes word from the corporate world of Denny’s: They’re produced a video spoof dubbed “Skillet Whisperer” for Funny or Die. The company’s original intent was to find “someone energetic and who would connect with English-speaking Latinos but also the Spanish-preferred Latinos.” Instead they have produced a bilingual “commercial” funnier than any you’ll see on the Super Bowl. More importantly, it makes this middle-aged WASP want to try a skillet at Denny’s.

Chicken pot pie at Lady & Sons in 2008. One serving could feed a family of four.

In August 2008, I traveled to Savannah, Georgia where I dined at Paula Deen’s restaurant Lady & Sons. We ran a post titled “Paula Deen Wants to Kill You.” I wrote:

I can still smell the rancid butter that hit us in the face when we walked in the door. I’ve got to find the pictures I took of the food I ate–everything was dripping in butter. I remember the chicken pot pie was big enough for four and almost everything was fried. OK, she admits she’s “not your cardiologist,” but she really is contributing to the delinquency of dieters. The night we went, at least 75 per cent of the diners were beyond overweight–they were obese. It was sad–like people watching at the slots in Vegas–everyone was gambling with their lives.

Last week Paula Deen confirmed the rumor: she has Type 2 diabetes. I wonder how many of her dedicated fans also suffer from Type 2? This really chaps my sass because two members of my family didn’t have a choice: they both were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when they were young. They have to continually monitor their diet and control their blood sugar. However, Ms. Deen, and other people who put on blinders and continue to fill their body with fat and sugar, had an option. Like not eating a burger made with Krispy Kreme donuts. It’s now rumored that Deen may become the spokesperson for Novartis, a company with a drug designed to treat diabetes. If she personally profits from developing Type 2 diabetes (Hey yáll, I’m your endocrinologist!), I’m going to go berserk. I can already see the talk show circuit lighting up. It makes me sick.

Loren Means has a lot of different jobs here at D Magazine. Only one is writing the recaps of Top Chef: Texas. I thank her for her volunteer spirit. Now let’s get it on.

Episode 7 kicks off with twelve cheftestants remaining in the competition for the title of Top Chef. Technically there are still thirteen if we count Whitney who is still alive online in the Last Chance Kitchen (LCK). For now, let’s focus on the “Dirty Dozen” as they refer to themselves. Still in the running: my boy Paul, Grayson, Heather, Chris C., Chris J., Beverly, Lindsay, Dakota, Ty, Ed, Sarah and Nyesha. The episode takes place in Dallas at Le Cordon Bleu School of Culinary Arts. Is anyone else bored?

QUICKFIRE. Padma and guest judge Tim Love, chef/owner of Lonesome Dove in Fort Worth, greet the chefs in the kitchen. Lonesome Dove is known for serving fine game. The menu includes interesting dishes such as rabbit-rattlesnake sausage (guess I have to eat my words about never seeing rattlesnake on a restaurant menu in Texas) and kangaroo carpaccio “nachos.”

Game on.

We spy several variations of Don Julio ultra-premium tequilas in the Cordon Bleu kitchen. Tim tells us that nice tequila is meant to be sipped. I know this; I just can’t do it. I make the “bitter beer face” every time I take a sip. For me, tequila is all the same and it must be blended nicely into a margarita or taken as a shot and immediately chased with tomato juice. The chefs must taste and then select one of five tequilas and create a dish that pairs nicely with it. Among the most popular choices are the 1942, the Blanco, and the Anejo.

After 30 minutes, cooking time is up and it’s chow time. Tim is a sweetheart but he’s brutally honest. He tells Heather her dish feels like the newest addition to a menu at a chain restaurant. He thinks Sarah’s risotto is over cooked and the sauce feels like lemon juice squeezed into cream. He was a little less harsh with Chris J. and simply tells him his chicken was too dry. Judging the top three, Tim thought the briny moisture of the oysters paired nicely with the Blanco in Chris C.’s dish. He really enjoyed Lindsay’s salmon and thought the Anejo flavor went all the way through the dish. But his favorite dish and the winner of $5,000 is Ty’s steamed clams with the 1942 tequila.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE

As Padma says, “Hopefully you like who you are standing next to” my eyes pan the line. What do I see? Heather and Bev are touching elbows. I smile. Here we go. The chefs are split into pairs and each pair will cook one of six courses for a Game Dinner at Lonesome Dove. Tim and five of his friends will be the guests along with Padma, Tom, and Hugh. His “friends” are also impressive chefs who will assign their favorite protein to one team. We meet Chef Bryan Caswell of Reef in Houston who chooses venison for Nyesha and Dakota. Chef Anita Lo from Anissa in NYC selects squab for Paul and Sarah.  Elk is Tim Love’s favorite meat and he assigns it to Chris J and Grayson. Lindsay and Chris C. will be cook boar for Chef Jon Shook of Animal in Los Angeles. Chef John Currence of City Grocery in Oxford, MS opts for duck, one of my personal favorites, which Heather and Bev will make. And last but not least, Chef Vinny Dotolo, also of Animal in L.A., wants quail so that’s exactly what Ed and Ty will be cooking.

Before the chefs are released to their stomping grounds at Whole Foods, they are told one last little detail. It’s a double elimination challenge. I guess it’s time I told you, I have super powers. I have been hoping all week that we would get one soon and here it is. Christmas has come early. There are literally too many cooks in the kitchen and I’m ready to trim the fat. The cheftestants are obviously aware of the situation and look frozen with panic and stress. Bravo cannot help itself and throws in one more catch: the bottom three dishes will be selected by the chetestants themselves.

The scene at Whole Foods is hilarious. Realistically, it’s mildly entertaining watching Heather boss Beverly around like a mom shopping with her 6-year-old. Heather also keeps jabbering on about how she doesn’t want the dish to be “too Asian.” “I just want to make sure the dish isn’t too Asian because that’s not my style,” she says. “And I’m not going home Bev.” So, Asian food is bad? Go to Uchi, Heather. I assure you, Asian style isn’t going to send you home. Your bad attitude and inability to work in a group will. There, I said it. I don’t like Heather anymore. She and Bev are very different but equally undesirable.

In the kitchen, Chris J. is spazzing out. I can’t describe it any other way. I want to bitch slap him and scream “Pull yourself together, man!” He has sworn up and down to Grayson that he can make some sort of sweet potato creation to serve with their elk. But something goes wrong with his potatoes and he can’t deliver. Grayson is trying really hard to be cool about it. But then she blows. “I didn’t want to be like, way to go you f**ked up the sweet potato,” she says. “BUT..you f**cked up the sweet potato.” Now Grayson is flustered, Nyesha is annoyed with Dakota’s insecurity, and Bev and Heather are bickering. Heather wants to add a component to the dish and tells Beverly it’s part of her rustic style so they are going to have to compromise. By compromise, she means Bev, nothing you say matters so just sit back and try not to cry about something today.

Service begins and Lindsay and Chris C. present wild boar with kohlrabi slaw and faro fried rice. Tom says it’s a nice plate of food but not that exciting. The second course of five-spice duck breast with creamy polenta and pickled cherries is Beverly and Heather’s creation. The judges feel the dish is a bit too safe. Grayson and Chris J. bring out the third course of juniper-roasted elk with what looks like sweet potato fries. Chris immediately confesses to the judges that his “elaborate technique” did not work. Grayson wants to punch him in the nards but instead tries to correct this by saying the dish is exactly as they intended it to be. Chef Caswell seems to be as harsh a critic as Tim and says the plate looks like something from a banquet menu in 1982. Up next, Ed and Ty serve the fourth course of quail with pickled cherries and eggplant. The feedback tells us the quail “shines” and has great “earthy qualities.” Nyesha and Dakota are plating for the fifth course and notice the venison Dakota was in charge of cooking is undercooked. With no time to change anything, a very rare venison is plated for the judges. Nyesha is appalled and feels like this shouldn’t happen at this level. The judges feel the same way. The final course is brought out by Sarah and Paul ending the meal with squab breasts and sausage with nectarine pickles. Overall take is that the presentation is a bit sloppy but the food was good.

Back in the kitchen Sarah starts to have a break down. “This is not like cooking normally,” she says. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” The Bev chimes in. “It’s ok to cry,” she whines. “Totally cool. We all know how stressful this is and everyone handles stress differently.” Um, not according to Nyesha. There’s no crying in baseball or in the kitchen, ladies.

JUDGES TABLE

Padma comes into the kitchen and asks to see Ed and Ty. Everyone congratulates them as they are clearly the winners of the challenge and $10k. Ty is stoked because he has now won the Quickfire and the Elimination Challenge. Ed is excited and relieved. “I looked into all those chefs’ faces and thought, man I did not make an ass out of myself in front of all you guys,” he says.

After much discussion, and much more attitude from Heather, the cheftestants send the following chefs to Judge’s Table: Dakota, Nyesha, Chris J., Grayson, Heather, and Beverly. Hugh Acheson is sitting on the panel along with the regulars and today’s guest judges. Standing in front of all the judges everyone looks like they are breaking. Dakota is clearly on the verge of tears. Heather starts spouting off about Beverly having a bad work ethic, having no self-confidence then brings up last week’s shrimp issue. Beverly starts to cry (I knew it) and Hugh speaks up and tells Heather that last week is irrelevant in this game. Padma calls out Nyesha and asks why she never bothered to check on the meat herself or check in with Dakota and everyone ends up pointing fingers. Everyone except for Dakota who feels awful for undercooking the venison, a meat she has cooked numerous times.

Back in the kitchen Heather is still ranting about the shrimp and other peoples’ flaws. Apparently this is how she handles stress. Heather is also upset that she isn’t getting the chance to compete based on her own skills alone and I have to agree with her. It would be horribly frustrating but, as the saying goes, there’s no I in TEAM. Everyone is responsible. You are of course, allowed to be secretly pissed at the person who messed it up for everyone.

In this case, Nyesha is allowed to be frustrated with Dakota when they are sent packing for undercooked venison. Nyesha is a great chef and I am sad to see her go. Next week we are headed to Austin and hopefully Paul’s badassery, yes, badassery, will shine in his hometown.

Last Chance Kitchen – Whitney vs. Nyesha & Dakota

In the LCK the chefs are instructed to make a dish using a wok, a cactus, and any other ingredients the kitchen has to offer. Off they go as previously eliminated chefs shout questions and cheer from the sidelines. Time is up and tasting begins. Tom starts with Whitney’s cactus and chicken fried rice moves on to Nyesha’s Asian-style scallops and finishes with Dakota’s shrimp tostada. Tom chooses in favor of Nyesha and she’s back in the competition and all is right with the world again.

D Magazine’s Loren Means loves to watch Top Chef: Texas. Therefore, she volunteered to watch all of the episodes this season and write a recap. She’s reviewed episode one, two, three, four, and five. Today she reports on episode six which takes place in Dallas. Go, Loren.

Lisa Garza juggles relationships to get Sissy's Fried Chicken open.

Although La Garza is all about sisterhood (“I am Sissy,” Garza says. “Sissy is southern slang for “sister” and I am developing every aspect.”) there will be no sissy in the kitchen. La G has plucked Jeffery Hobbs and named him “leader of the kitchen.”

Oh, it’s a tangled tale—an episode of As the Restaurant Turns. Here’s the synopsis: Lisa was married to Chef Gilbert Garza. Together they operated Suze Restaurant, the cozy spot on Midway and NW Highway. At some point, Jeffery Hobbs joined the happy couple to work on the kitchen team as chef and partner. Hobbs and Gilbert ran a great restaurant. Lisa concentrated on catering. Lisa was picked as a contestant on Next Food Network Star. The experience was devastating, as most former TV reality participants will admit is generally the case. The Garzas divorced and Lisa retreated for a couple of years. She emerged as a fancy caterer. Found a new guy. Got re-married and is now pregnant with new restaurant.

After eight years at Suze, Hobbs splits to partner with burgeoning bully restaurateur, Jack “Maple & Motor” Perkins. They’re consulting on taco joints. Then La G calls Hobbs and asks him to be the “leader of her kitchen.” According to La G, Gilbert has given his blessing to the deal. See, there can be happy endings. Or beginnings. Stay tuned.

Chad Fitzgerald claims he and his partner, Edward Navejas, owners of The Cake Guys in Duncanville, are just normal guys. But that is about to change. Since Fitzgerald returned from his appearance on Next Great Baker, the two have opened a second location on Oak Lawn across the street from Pappadeaux. He seems a little anxious when he tells me others have warned him of the potential transformation that could take place once the show airs. He’s nostalgic about the days he baked cakes in his own garage and is excited, and perhaps, a little uneasy about what the future will hold. It is uncertain if he will welcome fame or retreat from it.

That’s the thing about Fitzgerald, a native Texan dubbed as the “nicest guy on the show” by Buddy Valastro, the Cake Boss himself. At first glance, you kind of think you have him figured out. Until he throws you for a loop. He is a great baker but he is a former math teacher—his full-time job until recently. His voice softens as he fondly reminisces about his grandmother who laid the foundation for his love of baking. He briefly mentions his “wild days.” Probed a little further, he says very matter-of-factly that he was referring to his days in drag. He goes on to elaborate, and you realize just exactly who you are speaking to: a former Miss Texas At-Large and a former Miss USA At-Large. And yes, he achieved these titles all while teaching junior high and baking on the side.

In 1996, when Chad added a little wig and makeup to his regiment, he felt pretty. Then it dawned on him—there is power in beauty. Unlike the protagonist in The Picture of Dorian Gray, whose beauty was his ultimate demise, Fitzgerald discovered how beautiful he was. He was humbled by it. “Drag is an attention seeking activity, and I am lucky that I was able to take that attention and make it positive rather than resort to what else it could get me—like drugs,” Fitzgerald says. “It gave me confidence, and it made me like and appreciate Chad more than ever.”

Nearly 15 years later, the Next Great Baker contestant does not need the wig and the makeup to like himself.  He does, however, create enchanting beauty in his cakes, many of which are obviously influenced by his past. His confidence has allowed him to conquer other pursuits, such as being a Next Great Baker contestant.

Just like the ingredients in his cake recipes, he did not skimp on his audition videos. The producers for Next Great Baker got the full-throttle Chad Fitzgerald that he is proud to be. Once they fell in love with what they saw, Fitzgerald made certain that he was not going to act like a “flame or a stupid person.” As if reciting a mantra, he says “I am not a gay person who happens to be a baker. I am a baker and a partner, and one part of me is gay.”  The producers respected that.

“The cast experience was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Fitzgerald says, “Everything was completely raw. It puts you and all of your knowledge and skills to the test. Every. Single. Day.”

During the taping of the show, Fitzgerald threw up several times a week, lost 18 pounds, and worked 16 hours a day. “But I didn’t give up at the worst times because I would think of everyone who was working hard at home because I am not there,” Fitzgerald  said. He wants Dallas to know about the goodness of The Cake Guys, not just Chad Fitzgerald.

The Cake Guys are talented, and can do cakes like those you see on TV, including the 2,000-pound Transformer cake, and the life-size sculpture of Buddy Valastro’s wife. But Fitzgerald understands not everyone can afford those cakes. “Just because you have a low budget doesn’t mean you have to have an ugly cake,” he says. He offers the Sweet Inspiration packages to accommodate brides after the economy tanked.

However, despite the stagnant economy, fancy cakes are in demand. Fitzgerald says shows like Next Great Baker have introduced invigorating cake techniques and contributed to their hype. Now fondant, made popular by the Cake Boss and Martha Stewart (who Fitzgerald calls the Queen of Cake), has never been so in vogue. Fitzgerald, who Buddy calls a “cake superstar” in one of the elimination rounds, can master the art and technique of fondant and fancy cakes like those seen on Next Great Baker.

Fondant cake.

Fondant cake.

So what can be expected on this season of Next Great Baker? There will be plenty of contests, challenges, “horrible Jersey brides” who made Fitzgerald miss the “wonderful, friendly, and realistic Texas brides,” famous people, and of course, the Cake Boss himself, who Fitzgerald says taught him skills he could not have learned otherwise. “Buddy is really tough,” he says. “He expected the very best of us, and when we didn’t give our best, he let us know. One day you are on the top of the list and the next day you are crap,” he says after conveying his deep reverence for Valastro.

The show airs tonight, and it is bound to bring in popularity and fame for the Dallas baker. Stop by The Cake Guys from 3-5PM for $2 cake-by-the-slice happy hour at the Duncanville location. Dallas location happy hour details TBA.  Next Great Baker debuts tonight at 8PM CST on TLC, and Chad Fitzgerald would like to invite everyone to the debut party at Magnolia Hotel at 7PM.

D Magazine’s Loren Means loves to watch Top Chef. Therefore, she volunteered to watch all of the episodes this season and write a recap. She’s reviewed episode one, two, and three. Today she spills the chili beans on episode four . Go, Loren.

For the fourth episode of the season’s Top Chef: Texas competition, we return to San Antonio to watch the remaining fifteen chefs fight to the death!  Just joshin’ – you know why they’re there. The remaining cheftestants  listed in particular order based on personality and/or skill, are Paul, our resident Texan, Nyesha, Heather, Edward, Chris J. (although I would like to roundhouse kick his sunglasses off the top of his head), Chuy, Ty, Richie, Chris C., Grayson, Dakota, Whitney, Lindsey, Sarah and Beverly.

QUICKFIRE CHALLENGE

The chefs are greeted by Padma and guest judges, Mary Sue Millikin and Susan Feniger, chef/owners of Border Grill Restaurants in LA and Vegas and a few Top Chef Masters alums. Behind the judges are bowls of chile peppers and a board listing temperatures and dollar amounts. The heat of a chili is rated by the Scoville Scale varying from 0 (no heat) to 15,000,000 (pure capsaician). The Anaheim pepper usually ranks between 500-2,000 while the ghost pepper tops the edible chart at 1,000,000. According to Chuy, eating a handful of these babies would be “like eating a pile of fire.” (I’ve had a habanero drop me to my knees so I think I’ll take Chuy’s word for it.) The challenge is for the chefs to create a dish highlighting one type of pepper and show the judges you have cojones. The higher the tolerable heat, the more moolah you win.

The chefs scramble. Beverly runs to the mild section and starts chomping on various peppers. She chooses Anaheim. Snooze. My grandma eats Anaheims for breakfast. Beverly claims that she has selected this pepper for its freshness and cares more about making a great dish than winning money. On the other end of the spectrum our boy, Paul, goes for the Ghost pepper. Muey caliente! I beam with pride. Most chefs show they are up for the challenge and select spicy peppers such as Thai, Habanero, Fresno, and Manzano.

After the 30-minute time limit is up, the judging begins. Falling to the bottom are Richie, who lost the power of his pepper, Beverly, who didn’t bother to cook her pepper and used it as a crudité instead, and Chuy, whose use of canned tomatoes overpowered his pepper.  He was particularly embarrassed because he grew up eating Habaneros and apparently has enough back at home to survive the next nuclear fallout. Rising to the top are Heather, who stands to win $10,000 for her use of the Thai pepper, Grayson, who could potentially win $12,500 for her use of the Habanero pepper, and Paul, who actually wins $20,000 for having the best dish and using the ghost pepper. In addition to 20k, Paul will also have immunity in the elimination challenge.

ELIMATION CHALLENGE

Immediately after the winner is announced the chefs are asked to pull a pot from under the table and open it to find an apron. Teams of three are created as each chef pulls one of five colors out of their pot.

Black Team – Nyesha, Beverly, and Richie.

Green Team – Sarah, Chris C., and Chuy.

Blue Team – Heather, Edward, and Paul (dream team in my opinion)

Red Team – Chris J., Dakota, and Whitney

White Team – Grayson, Ty, and Lindsay

The chefs gather into their teams. Nyesha is less than thrilled about her team because Richie has fallen in the bottom of the last two Quickfires and Beverly is “meek.” Her word, not mine. Although I’ll second that thought. The group is told that they will be participating in a chili cook off at the Tejas Rodeo and will be feeding 200 cowboys and rodeo regulars. The catch: they will be cooking back at the manse and there will be no time clock.

After a trip to Whole Foods, where several chefs battle for brisket at the meat counter, Chris C. starts to see the “bitchy side” of Sarah. The chefs are forced to battle again for equipment, space, and ingredients back at the house. Nyesha snakes the beer, Chris J. and Edward claim the fire pit in the backyard, and Grayson haggles with other teams for pans.  Chris J. describes it perfectly: “it’s like a riot and people are just grabbing for whatever they can get.”

When the cooking finally gets underway and things have mostly settled down, Tom shows up. He questions the black team’s concept of mole chili and turns his nose up at Heather’s suggestion to serve their chili with pickled peaches. Tom leaves and bottles start popping.  Edward pops the cork out of a bottle of wine by knocking the bottom of it against the house, proving to me this can actually be done. I was sure it was urban legend. Chuy is slinging back beers having to be constantly reminded by Chris C. that they are for the chili not for drinking. Chuy seems unaffected as he climbs on board their makeshift bull that Paul and Edward are operating. Chuy goes overboard fast, everybody laughs.

Having endured 100 degree temperatures, several chefs jump in the pool and, for a moment, it looks like we are watching The Real World – San Antonio. Most chefs have decided to pull an all-nighter and are still working away at 5AM. This is apparently when the bugs begin to attack. The Chicago boy said “bugs” but we know he means “mosquitos.”

It’s time to head to the Rodeo and the chefs walk like zombies to their cars. Sarah informs her fellow passengers that she grew up in Texas going to the rodeo and her Dad was a bull rider. She thinks this makes her more legit and I sort of have to give it to her. It does. Her team now has the unfair Texan advantage just like last week’s winners had the unfair Chuy advantage. After an hour of prep time, the guests arrive and start gobbling up chili.  Chuy notes, “Wow! These people are really Texas!” The rodeo folk are stereotypically Texas indeed!

Padma, Gail, Tom, Susan, and Mary Sue arrive and are ready to judge the chili. They begin with the green team (Sarah, Chris C., and Chuy). Their chili is made with beef chuck and lots of Shiner Bock. Sarah has certified that it is real Texas chili and has no beans whatsoever, y’all. The chefs enjoy the flavor but wish they had some corn bread or tortillas to soak up the sauce.

Next up, the judges sample the red team (Chris J., Dakota, and Whitney). They love the amount of heat and seasoning but are a bit turned off by the stringy meat of the brisket.  Gail loves the pickled peaches the blue team (Heather, Paul, and Edward) served with their chili but Tom’s response to the chili was meh. The black team (Nyesha, Beverly, and Richie) made a mole chili which is a bit sweet and a little too unconventional for the judges although their cornbread rocked the Kasbah. The fifth and final chili was the white team (Grasyon, Ty, and Lindsay) who made a three bean chili. That ain’t Texas at all y’all! The judges thought it didn’t have enough heat and didn’t feel like chili.

After the feast, the Cheftestants finally take a load off to watch the cowboys in action. Most of the chefs have never been to a rodeo and are really enjoying it. Meanwhile, Beverly begins to cry and whine to Nyesha, who kindly pretends to care, that she wishes her husband could be there to share this experience with her. Soon enough, Padma enters the arena astride a muscular horse donning jeans and button-down with two front pockets. Very cowboy chic. Chris C. wipes a tear (not really) and compares her beauty to that of Fabio on the cover of a romance novel with his hair blowing in the wind. One of us is a moron and I’m hoping it’s not me. Padma announces that the winner of this year’s Tejas Rodeo Chili Cook Off is (drumroll please…) the Shiner Bock-infused concoction made by the green team! I don’t want to say it was rigged or anything, but since the cowboys and rodeo regulars were able to choose the winner, Sarah’s Texas roots may have played a role. Texans are all about Texans.  Go Paul! What? Sarah doesn’t live here anymore and I don’t particularly care for her.

The judges announce that the losing team they have selected is the black team. In order to stay in the competition, Nyesha, Beverly and Richie will all have to go back to the kitchen and transform their chili into a new and improved dish. The three chefs look truly deflated after having worked through the night and into the day with little to no sleep. In the kitchen, Richie and Beverly seem composed while Nyesha looks more like she’s sleep walking. When time is up the chefs present their new dishes to the chefs.  Beverly serves a seared tuna with a habanero pineapple salsa. Richie presents a Frito-crusted pork tenderloin with chili puree. Nyesha makes a Frito-crusted shrimp with roasted corn and reduction of mole sauce.

The judges taste the dishes, deliberate, and confess that they are assholes for doing this to the black team. In the end, one dish had no spice, no acid, and was very “one note.”  Richie was sent packing. When asked to pack his knives he managed to choke out, “Thank you for this opportunity.” He sounded as wimpy as a Michael Jackson whisper. He was devastated and it seemed so childlike when he cried. It was really hard to see him go. He looked like he needed a big hug and luckily his pal, Chris J., was there to do just that. He sent him off with an “I love you.”

SUPER SECRET KITCHEN – Keith vs. Richie

I’ll make this speedy as usual. The super-secret competition is another repurposing challenge. The chefs must use Thanksgiving leftovers and make a new dish using at least three of the ingredients. Keith seems a bit frozen stating that rarely cooks using leftovers. Richie is hustling and things are going smoothly until he accidentally pours half of a salt shaker into is cornbread puree. When the time is up, both chefs have their creations plated. Tom samples Keith’s first and then Richie’s. He has positive and negative things to say about both. There is no clear winner. In the end, Keith prevails and we will see him next week in Dallas along with local author, Kim Schlegel Whitman.

D Magazine’s Loren Means loves to watch Top Chef. Therefore, she volunteered to watch all of the episodes this season and write a recap. She’s a Texan, and she’s on Texan stereotype alert. Go, Loren.

I, personally, could have done without the first two episodes required to wrangle out the 13 weaker chefs. It’s just too exhausting. I prefer to start off with the rock stars and get the show on the road. Alas, no one consulted me prior to filming/editing so this is how it was done, and we have had to endure it. Episode three begins and we finally have the 16 chefs who will actually be competing for the title of Top Chef. In no particular order, other than Keith, whom I will list first because he is my favorite, we have Keith, Richie, Lindsay, Edward, Heather, Ty-lor (whom I will now refer to as Ty because they do on the show and now I won’t have to figure out how to make those two dots over the O), Beverly, Chris J., Grayson, Paul (resident Texan), Sarah, Chris C., Dakota, Nyesha, Chuy, and Whitney.

Jump to see what happens.

QUICKFIRE

We are back in the Top Chef kitchen in San Antone, and it’s time for the cheftestants’ very first Quickfire. In the kitchen the chefs see a terrarium with a live snake and 16 wooden boxes on the floor. Dakota is freaking out—she hates snakes. She and Indiana Jones must be unique in this way. Padma introduces the guest judge, Johnny Hernandez, who is the chef and owner of local restaurant La Gloria, known for its wild game. Johnny is a friendly guy who tells the chefs about the local fare and informs them that rattlesnakes are a very traditional Texas cuisine. Huh? Stop. I have lived in Texas for 30 years and have tasted rattlesnake once in my entire life. And that was only because I was in Sweetwater, Texas, at the world’s largest rattlesnake roundup. I participated in the hunting and skinning of rattlesnakes. Yes. I’m hardcore. (To be clear, by “participated,” I mean I wore boots that came up to my knees, sat in the safety of a truck bed, shielded my eyes, and sipped on Coors Light.) Never again have I encountered rattlesnake as a menu item, so if Johnny says it’s traditional cuisine, he must be referring to the southwest not the whole state of Texas. Moving on. The chefs are told there is a snake in each box and they will have one hour to cook their snake. Padma boldly says, “When time is up, there better be some motherf**kin snakes (Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!) on some motherf**kin plates.”  Eek! If a saying ain’t cool when Samuel L. Jackson says it, it most certainly cannot be improved rolling off the lips of Padma Lakshmi. That clip should find its home on a blooper reel.

The chefs open their boxes to find rattlesnakes that are already skinned and ready for cooking. I’m sure PETA may have had some choice words had Bravo made killing and skinning the snakes part of the challenge. Plus, I wasn’t in the mood to cover my eyes or drink watery beer, so it all worked out.  Most chefs have never cooked with this ingredient so everyone is winging it. We get a variety of rattlesnake entrées: from Keith’s sweet corn griddle cake rattlesnake to Paul’s barbecue rattlesnake with peaches. Chris J. throws his snake on the skillet, and exclaims, “fry like bacon, you freshman bitches.” He just shot to the top of my list. This is how you use a movie line appropriately. As a Texan, Paul felt his pride was on the line, but sadly, he fell in the bottom three along with Richie and Neyasha. Coming in on top were Beverly, Dakota, and Sarah. Ironically enough, ye who hates snakes took the prize of $5,000 and immunity in the elimination challenge.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE

The cheftestants draw knives to reveal Team Pink or Team Green. Once divided, they are introduced to their client, Blanca Flores, a 15-year-old girl who will be celebrating her quinceanera the following day. The chefs will be providing the food for Blanca’s 150 nearest and dearest. According to Johnny, the food should be elegant Mexican cuisine representative of the Mexican culture in San Antonio. First, Blanca meets with the Green Team (Beverly, Chuy, Chris J., Richie, Heather, Paul, Grayson, and Whitney). They ask her if she likes spicy food. She says no. They ask her if she likes boys. She giggles, and says yes. Oh to be young again. We learn that she loves cabrito (goat) and tres leches cake. Chuy is pumped because his grandfather taught him to cook goat, and it’s his best dish. Next, Blanca meets with the Pink Team (Lindsay, Sarah, Nyesha, Ty, Chris C., Keith, Whitney, and Dakota). We learn that Blanca also loves Chinitia Pibil, cabbage leaves with picadillo, and consommé soup. It should be known that during this five to 10 minutes of the show, I made mental notes to go eat at Javier’s, La Duni, Fuel City, and planned a trip to Mexico. Viva!

The cheftestants split into two groups. Half the crew goes to Whole Foods and the other half heads to a local Mexican market for some authentic ingredients. Members from each team are at both stores. The Green Team has a plan and things are going smoothly. Most everyone is calm, cool, and collected. Remember last week when I said Beverly scared me a bit. I was wrong. She annoys me a lot. She comes tearing up to the butcher’s counter, cutting off everyone else screaming, “I know everybody here has stuff to do. I need a butcher!” I guess the fake winner’s certificate she made herself is going to her head. The Pink Team seems to be scrambling and making hasty decisions. Keith, Chris C., and Richie all agree to buy precooked shrimp and both teams buy premade tortillas. If you’ve watched any previous seasons of Top Chef, you know you don’t EVER buy precooked anything. Truly, as I watched them make the decision, I was screaming, “No, no! Don’t do that!” It was like watching a horror film and screaming at the girl, “Don’t go upstairs. Run out the front door! Don’t do it! Ugh. Idiot.”

Back in the kitchen, Lindsay, who was at Whole Foods, is horrified to learn that her teammates bought precooked shrimp and now her dish is ruined. The whole mood in the kitchen changes and Pink Team starts blaming Keith. Keith starts to feel like it’s him against his own team. I immediately come to Keith’s defense and decide that Sarah and Lindsay are just mean girls. The prep for the day wraps and the chefs head home.

Cut to the San Antonio skyline (so we remember they are in Texas), a quick glimpse of the Alamo, and back to the manse.

It’s the day of Blanca’s quinceanera at Adalco’s Restaurant, and she is decked to the nines looking like an adorable cake topper in her big white dress. She is very polite, mature for her age, and seems to have an advanced palate. Either Bravo is feeding her lines or she’s the next Gayle Simmons. She greets Padma and Johnny, and is introduced to Tom and Hugh. Then the feast begins! We see every dish tasted and reviewed by the judges as well as Blanca and her family. And just as we predicted, Tom is offended by the store-bought tortillas and calls them a “copout.” The judges really enjoy Paul’s shrimp ceviche and agree that his dish has more flavor than anything else. While tasting Keith’s enchiladas, the judges are confused by the use of flour tortillas instead of corn. I was, too. I’m a Texan; enchiladas are made with corn tortillas. And I hate to agree with Hugh on this, but Keith made burritos. The cakes roll out, and Heather’s tres leches cake is the leaning tower of leches while Dakota’s pineapple cake concoction looks revolting. Neither were a smash, but the tres leches is the clear winner. Blanca enjoyed her party, had fun dancing with her Dad, but Johnny felt the chefs did not deliver elegant cuisine as requested.

JUDGES TABLE

The judges declare the Green Team the victors, which is no surprise. Their food was better, they were more organized, and they had the unfair Chuy advantage. They did deserve the win, though. From the Pink Team, the judges asked to see Lindsay, Sarah, Ty, and Keith. Dakota would have been called in as well had she not won immunity in the Quickfire. Lindsay reveals that she felt they performed poorly because they didn’t utilize their time well. The judges fault her because she lived and cooked in Mexico for three years and should have nailed her dish. Sarah was in a panic and was trying to point the finger everywhere she could. Ty admitted that although he only had 30 minutes to come up with his fritter, it was dry and lacked flavor. Keith gets called out for purchasing precooked shrimp and for using flour tortillas for his enchiladas. He defends his choice by saying that’s how they prepare them in North Carolina and he was unaware that traditional enchiladas are made with corn tortillas. It’s sort of a weak defense, but where were his teammates on this? Sarah confesses she grew up in Texas and knows that corn tortillas are used for this dish, but never bothered to tell Keith during prep. She was actually helping Keith pull the tortillas out when he was making his dish and didn’t correct him. This behavior puts her at the bottom of my list. The judges deliberate and Keith is asked to pack his knives. I’m totally bummed out. Then I am reminded by a note in Keith’s bag—LAST CHANCE KITCHEN!

Last week, I was completely annoyed about having to log onto bravotv.com for the super-secret competition, but last night I was psyched! I thought it was over for Keith, but it wasn’t! You know when you’re at the movies eating Milk Duds and you go to flip the box over in your hand and nothing comes out?  It’s a total disappointment because you’ve eaten them all.  But then, you look inside and see that there is still one super-secret Milk Dud stuck to the bottom of the box and joy takes over.  That was this. I’ll sum up quickly. Andrew and Keith go head-to-head in a mise en place race. They have six ingredients and 10 minutes to prep and prepare a dish for Tom. One of the ingredients is clams. I know—and Andrew knows–it’s over for him. Andrew prepares a Mediterranean-style clam dish with radicchio while Keith prepares clams two ways, ceviche and steamed in champagne butter, served with a sip of champagne.  Keith takes the win, and he’s back in!

To quote our friend Ty, in this episode, “nothing was great and a lot of things sucked.” I hope next week’s episode brings a little more excitement and a lot more personality from the 15 remaining cheftestants. It looks like we’re headed to the rodeo, so brace yourself for some stereotypes!

Episode 2 of this season takes us back to San Antonio. We only know this because there was a brief glimpse of the River Walk early in the show. If you blinked, you missed it. We open in the stew room (The Bubble) where Molly, Edward, Grayson, and Janine are commiserating and placing bets on how many spots will be left after group three competes. Edward compares the stew room to being in prison, bonds with his fellow inmates, then jokes that if he was there much longer he’d kill the other five chefs to get a jacket. I’m guessing he’d start with Molly since he basically laughed in her face when she said she was a chef aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise ship. When that happened, my hand flew to my mouth while my brain said “oh no he di-int.” Then I laughed out loud just like he did. I’m thinking I like Edward.

Just as a refresher: 11 chefs including Heather, Nyesha, Chris J., Richie, Sarah, Ty-lor, Keith (my current favorite), Chris C., Chuy, Whitney, and Dakota have coats. There are only five remaining spots with 10 chefs left to compete and four on The Bubble. The 11 chefs who have made it through are at their manse in San Antonio sipping Champagne and victory while the other 14 chefs try to avoid bleeding ulcers.

It gets crazy.

Padma, Tom, and guest judge/Top Chef Masters alum, Hugh Acheson, are in the kitchen to greet group three. Roll out the red carpet because there are two Texans in this group! Andrew shared with us that he was nominated for People’s Best New Chef by Food and Wine Magazine yet failed to mention where or whether he was currently employed. We do have confirmation that he lives in Austin. He said so. I was immediately worried for him. He seems awfully sweet and a bit timid. Next up, also representing our great state, is Paul who is the executive chef at Uchiko in Austin. While I have never eaten at Uchiko, I have had the luxury of dining at the sister restaurant Uchi several times. If you haven’t been there, you’re missing out on life. To quote another Bravo star, “I die.” I think Paul is going to make us proud. The remaining eight chefs of group three are comprised of a few executive chefs, some chef de cuisines, two sous chefs, a Frenchman whom I can’t understand but love to listen to, and (gasp) another private chef. Bless his little heart.

For the challenge, 10 ingredients are offered to the chefs and they must all agree on who will cook with which ingredient. The chefs calmly and peacefully make their selections. Of course, it wouldn’t be Top Chef without a twist, so the plates also have a dome covering part of each plate. The chefs are asked to remove their domes and BEHOLD – they find preset timers. Hearts drop across the kitchen as 20-minute, 40-minute, and 60-minute times reveal themselves. But there was no time for despair – the chefs’ times started at that moment!

Once the 20 minutes is up, Kim, Andrew, and Paul step forward. This is probably a bit awkward because Andrew and Paul are pals from Austin. They probably ride their Lance-like road bikes down to Town Lake and skip around keeping things weird. Kim’s lamb chop is overcooked and greasy and she’s immediately eliminated. No jacket for you! Sweet Andrew’s mushrooms are a bit gritty but roasted nicely so he gets tossed to The Bubble with the other inmates. Paul’s trout is deemed the best of all three by Tom and he is handed a chef’s coat. Woohoo!  Texas representative in the house!

Twenty minutes later, the judges taste the food presented by Laurent, the Frenchie who sort of resembles Hannibal Lecter; Chaz, who has had a crush on Padma since middle school; Jonathan, the private chef; and Bernice, who did not stand out to me so I have no side remarks for her. She incidentally did not move on in the competition because her food was “uninspired.” Chaz, whom I was really beginning to like, was disqualified because his risotto did not make it onto the plate. I think he may have been more upset about losing Padma than losing the opportunity to compete in this competition. He’s married though, and has a fabulous personality so I trust that he’ll be just fine. He should call Fabio. Laurent’s plate had too many components for the judges with Hugh saying no, Tom saying eh, yet Padma passed him on to The Bubble. I think she, like me, just wanted to hear him talk some more. Truly, with that accent, he could say, “I present you with zee fried testicles of zee bull over zee monkey brains wizz light fish gut foam. Enjoy.” And I would. However, all in all it was a sad showing for this group.

An hour after the clocks started, we met Beverly, who’s a little bizarre and scares me a bit. Ashley, who is probably good friends with Bernice, and Lindsay, who seems cute and was smart enough to keep dodging Tom during the challenge so he wouldn’t steal up any of her cooking time. To hell with niceties – I’ve got veal to braise! It was a genius move by Lindsay as Tom “loved” her veal and she was handed a coat. Beverly’s Korean-style octopus was interesting to the judges and she too was handed a coat. Padma wanted to put Ashley and her oxtail on The Bubble, but Tom and Hugh but the kibosh on that and she was gone.

Now we have 14 chefs with coats and six chefs stewing in the stew room. Bring out The Bubbles! Molly, Edward, Grayson, Janine, Andrew, and Laurent are all competing for two remaining spots. The challenge – make anything you like with any ingredients you like in 30 minutes. Off they go! While the chefs are busy in the kitchen, we get a quick interview with Janine. Awkward. Am I the only that found all the over sharing uncomfortable?

Back to the kitchen people are frying, dicing, and slicing off their freaking fingers! From my angle, I saw blood literally squirt out of Edwards hand and thought for sure someone needed to find his phalange and put that thing on ice. He proved himself to be quite the trooper as he managed to keep cooking with one hand while the medic tried to stop the profuse bleeding and get him bandaged up. Ahem, Jamie, if you’re reading this – I hope your paper cut has healed properly.

At the judges table, he chefs are greeted by Tom, Padma, and Emeril Lagasse. Molly’s shrimp were overcooked, Padma thought the dish was bland, and so Molly was out. Sorry Molly, back to the open seas ye shall go! Edward’s major flesh wound was not addressed in judging, but his Asian duck dish won over the judges and he was handed a jacket. Grayson proved to be innovative with her bacon-wrapped shrimp with fig and also received a coat. Sweet Andrew overcomplicated his mussels and was asked to pack his knives. Finally, Laurent’s dish had too many competing flavors and he was out as well. Emeril was such a lovely judge that I’ve decided he is the nicest man on the planet. He was so gentle with all the chefs. It was like he was talking to children. He was full of compliments and always followed a negative with a positive. However, I do hope we get to see Anthony Bourdain and all his F bombs this season though.

Just when I thought we had our 16 chefs and it was my bedtime, Bravo revealed the secret “Last Chance Kitchen” competition, which I had to log on to BravoTV.com to watch. Say what?!?  Oy. I’ll sum up quickly – Janine and Andrew have a pizza-off.  They can use any ingredients and have 30 minutes to make their pie. Andrew goes cheeseless, which proves to be just ballsy enough for Tom, so Andrew beats Janine and has a chance to compete in the finals. Poor Janine, we learn that she was dumped by her girlfriend over the phone after a nine-year relationship. “A Post-It note would have been more touching,” she said. She loses a life partner and doesn’t get a jacket. Chin up, Janine. I’m sure Top Chef will sneak you back in somehow. Andrew still has a chance and each week he will battle the eliminated chef to hold his spot to return to the competition. I’ll keep you posted on the super-secret competitions as we go through the season. This way, when the show ends each week, you don’t have to get out of bed, get online, and watch another video. I’ve got you covered.

D Magazine’s Loren Means loves to watch Top Chef. Therefore, she volunteered to watch all of the episodes this season and write a recap. She’s a Texan and she’s on Texan stereotype alert. Go, Loren.

Top Chef is back and according to Bravo’s tagline for the show, “Everything is Bigger in Texas!” Wow, I wonder where they got that idea. Note to producers: We are bigger than France. And our buildings are NOT bigger than those in New York. So there’s one strike. I suggest you change your promotion from bigger to better. On to the show.

After meeting most of the cheftestants last night–not all 29 of them, but most–I think it’s safe to say we have some very talented people on this season. Tom Colicchio appears more aggressive this season and he kicked them off Simon Cowell-style. Grrr. I like this Tom.

Oh, it gets better.

Well, the cast of 29 very excited chefs is certainly large. Last night the enthusiastic contestants congregated in front of the (small) Alamo. Padma shows up to greet them and also inform them that only 16 will continue on to compete.  Chris C. is so excited to see her! “Damn, Padma looks hot. I have to stay in this competition just so I can look at her.”  (Note to Chris: as a non-participating viewer I will see gobs of Padma. If your main focus is to stare at Padma – go home and turn on the TV. Lord, I already don’t like him.)

Once all the excitement settled, Padma welcomed the cheftestants to San Antonio and, for me, this moment felt a bit like the Travel Channel meets the Food Network. Padma, dressed in a long flowy pink strapless dress, welcomed the group who stood in front of the Alamo. They could have been standing in front of a tree. She made no reference to the significance of the building which, for many of us, represents the brave men who battled Santa Anna’s army. Ozzy Osbourne peed on the Alamo and PeeWee Herman, well, I’m sure they will get to Mr. Herman’s contribution to Texas history in a future episode.

The opening shot dissolves. We reopen in a kitchen!

We meet Group 1 which is comprised of 10 chefs.  There are several executive chefs, a couple chefs de cusine, one personal chef/caterer who later introduced himself as a “chef to the celebrities”, one self- taught underdog, and one who is currently “between jobs.”  Immediately, we see some clear front runners.  Emeril Lagasse is the guest judge for the Quickfire in which the chefs are presented with a whole pig and they must each choose a cut to prepare for the judges. Once the chefs have made their decisions, two volunteers jump forward to butcher the pig. Hilarity ensues.

Well, not really but I was laughing outloud as a vegan chef, who hasn’t worked with meat in 10 years, attempted to slice out the ribs while the “chef to the celebs” attacked the pig, Lord of Flies-style. He wielded a saw and boasted that he never has to butcher his own meat because his clients are wealthy. Fortunately, Chris Jones of Moto, steps in and relieves his vegan friend, Collin. Also fortunate, no one steps in for Stone, Chef Tyler Stone. Tom Colicchio strolls up shortly after Tyler has hacked the tenderloin in half. Horrified by such atrocities, Tom practically donkey kicks the kid out of the kitchen mid-challenge. After putting up a little fight and a final “fair enough” Tyler leaves and I laugh. I like this season’s Tom.

The other 9 chefs are able to finish their dishes and present them for Tom, Padma, and Emeril to judge. Some chefs will get the majority vote and receive a chef’s coat; others will be put on “the bubble” and have to compete again later for one of the 16 spots.

Earning a chef’s coat in this group are Heather, Nyesha, Chris J., Richie, and Sarah.  Grayson, who is between jobs, and Molly, who claims to be a fine dining chef aboard a cruise ship which is a total oxymoron to me, are sent to “the bubble” while the sweet vegan, Collin and the heart- warming underdog, Simon are sent packing. (Like a vegan chef had a chance at winning this? Not fair.)

Next up is Group two. Wow, you can almost smell the pedigree in the room. Everyone in this group is an executive chef, a restaurant owner, or a chef de cuisine. All have worked with incredibly talented chefs and all brought their A game.  All but Nina.  Gayle joins us as the judge for this Quickfire where the chefs must choose a main ingredient as a group. (Team building time!)  They are presented with several choices but ultimately all decide that rabbit is the most versatile. Everyone flies into action, and when the buzzer goes off, Nina is caught with an un-plated Thumper. Bye Nina. Dakota, Whitney, Chuy, Chris C., Keith, and Ty-lor all receive chef’s coats.  Janine, who didn’t get her sauce on the plate, and Edward, whose rabbit was undercooked, are sent to “the bubble” where they remain to fight another day.

Episode one ended with 11 spots filled, four chefs on “the bubble” and 10 cheftestants in group three waiting to compete. With only 4 spots left, the pressure is certainly on for group three.

I think this will be an exciting and fun season and I can already see we will witness some excellent talent in the kitchen. After next week, we’ll have the final sweet 16 but, for now, Keith, Nyesha, Sarah and Heather have my vote. Would love to hear your favs.

Happy tails to you until we meet next week.

My question: What is behind that bone? (Photo by Melanie Dunea from the book, My Last Supper)

Anthony Bourdain will be at The Majestic tonight. Tickets are still available. I understand there will be a Q&A segment in the show. Can’t go? Send me your questions. I’ll try to get them answered.

Oh, and Tony. Tonight is the sixth game of the World Series. Our Texas Rangers could be champions before your show is over. You’ve will have hard core Rangers fans in the audience with DVRs recording the game. Please do not give game updates. That goes for you fans in the audience. If I see one of you on your cell phone getting game results, I WILL CUT YOU.