I posted a piece over on FrontBurner earlier today about the contribution of Frito Pie, and its forbears, to the history of Western civilization.

So, of course, a reader decided to share with me the above photo of her brother’s Frito Pie Pizza. She writes:

I know it’s a Boboli crust and then I assume Frito pie ingredients.  I haven’t had it but he says it’s amazing.

My brothers and sisters, we are truly living in an age of decadence.

You would think that frying up a tater tot would be something any idiot could do correctly.  Oil meets potato, done.  But unfortunately, this is not the case.  If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to eat a mushy, stale, lifeless tater tot, I’d have enough to run for president (and I’d probably be more qualified because of it than other current presidential hopefuls).  So, if you’ve ever had a Napoleon-Dynamite-sized hankering for these golden nuggets of pleasure, I’ll make it simple for you, the best in the city can be found at the house that Jack built, our loveable, Maple and Motor.

Everyone knows that M&M puts out some killer burgers.  That’s a given.  But it’s really pretty difficult to go wrong at this place.  Practically everything I have eaten there is exceptional.  I’ve even licked the floors and it tasted good.  But the tater tots have become a guilty obsession of mine over the past few months, an obsession that is too delightful not to share.  These tots are not winning any prizes with the granola-loving, tree-hugger health food crowd, but this is Texas, people…and here we embrace obesity like a soft snuggly teddy bear.

The tots are definitely noteworthy when served up naked with a dash of Jack’s hand-picked ketchup. But these little friends of mine are taken new heights when layered in cheddar, jalapenos, chopped bacon and ranch.  Hot and crispy tots, perfectly crunchy outside, tender potato inside, bound together by a layer of melted golden cheese, little bits of crispy bacon with pickled jalapenos. Seriously, God bless America.

How is something so simple, so extraordinary? I have no idea, it is one of the many mysteries surrounding the world of Jack Perkins.  But the man is a freaking wizard in the kitchen, a bona fide Harry Potter of Hamburgers. Maybe you’ve been leery to venture into M&M because you’ve read some of the many rumors surrounding Jack…that he’ll eat your children, steal your wife, pour hot acid on your face, and break your dog’s leg, but the truth is, he is a good dude.  He’s been nothing but an old softie with me, and I’ve tried to piss him off just to see if the rumors were true. Countless weekends have I had to endure the pleading of my grease-loving wife, as she yearn for the sultry offerings of Maple and Motor.  And I’m not putting up a fight, I am also smitten.

Oh, and someone wanted to know about chili.  M&M has you covered.  Chili bacon cheese burger? Yes, please.  Finest I’ve ever had.  Or get a little crazy and throw some chili on those tots.  You won’t regret it (at least until you step on the scale).

Hi Nancy, hope this finds you doing well this morning (hey, the Rangers are up 3-2…how could you be anything but fine?). Cold weather is imminent!  Would like to know your (or your readers) recommendations for who’s got the best chili in Dallas. I’ve waited about 8 months to be able to even ask this question. Many thanks in advance.

I won’t answer his question about being fine until my statement is approved by my therapist. In the meantime, tell him where to find some. GO RANGERS!

Co-chefs "Chef Pete" Nolasco and Zoe Muller spice it up.

Not just a euphemism anymore, Fire in the Hole was the name of Medical City’s entry in Sunday’s chili cook-off at The Dallas Farmers Market where pro (and semi-pro) teams from Le Cordon Bleu, Northwood Club, Chef’s Pete’s Catering, The French Room, and El Centro Culinary School, faced off against contenders from Mama D and Medical City (as well as an enthusiastic entry calling themselves The Chili Chicks) to benefit the Texas Chefs Association and Friends of the Dallas Farmers Market.

Jump here for the photo gallery…

Just as the names of entries ranged from the whimsical (El Centro’s Smashing Pumpkin Chili) to the literal (Le Cordon Bleu/Alexandria Club’s Smoked Corn Chili with Cumin Creme, Cilantro Essence and Queso Fresco), so did the costumes. Chef Pete Nolasco and Chef Zoe Muller hammed it up as a devilishly good duo, while The French Room’s team tried to one-up the competition by donning homemade “I Heart Mo” t-shirts. (Mo, in case you’re wondering, was chair of the competition).

Attendees chowed-down on mini-cups (10 for $10) and voted with their taste buds. Rankings were awarded in the Overall and People’s Choice categories:

• 1st Place: El Centro College’s Culinary Student Association’s “Foggy Bottom River Chili”
• 2nd Place: Chef Aimee’s Private Chef and Catering
• 3rd Place: Medical City of Dallas

• People’s Choice Award: El Centro College’s Warriors of Lone Star and their “World Famous 3rd Place Chili”

Jennifer Hunter shows off The French Room's "I Heart Mo" t-shirts (left), Erin Quinn charms samplers at the Le Cordon Bleu/Alexandria Club booth

Smoked Corn Chili

Mama D Chivo Bolillo samples.

The Chili Chicks Elizabeth Dunbar, Jenae Rudinger, Ragin Bryan, and Hilary Rivera