SideDish » Bad Names For Restaurants List

Restaurants America Strikes Again: Central Standard to Open in The Dallas Design District

Nancy Nichols — Fri, 18 May 2012 20:04:02 +0000

Team, I mean Restaurants America has landed in Dallas and is now spreading their mighty wings across the city. The multi-concept restaurant company operates seven brands and about 20 restaurants in Illinois, Texas, and Florida. In Dallas, they operate Primebar in Uptown, Townhouse Kitchen + Bar in North Dallas, and the soon-to-open Park Tavern across from Bailey’s Prime Plus on Park Lane. (Avner Samuel has confirmed he will not be the chef at any of these restaurants.) Recently, RA leased the space formerly known as Vapiano in Mockingbird Station. (I have it on good authority that concept will not be called Nosh Euro Bistro. I can’t confirm that Cafe Med has been ruled out. However, Mockingbird Taproom seems to be on the leader board.)

Today comes word: Restaurant America is putting a gastro sports pub in the Design District. It will be called Central Standard. Note to RA: you should have called the restaurant in Mockingbird Station Central Standard, IJS. No matter what they call it, the space is located in the ground floor of 1400 Hi Line, a 23-story, 314-unit multifamily project that is expected to open this summer and be completed in early 2013. Central Standard is expected to open in Fall 2012.

The press release says nothing about the food. Which begs the question: what is a gastro sport? Followed by: what is gastro sports food? Balls? Wings? Ducks? Oh the possibilities are endless.

Oh No! Say It Isn’t So! Nana Will Turn Into A Contemporary Steakhouse Called Sēr

Nancy Nichols — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:26:58 +0000

“Hey, honey I’m in the mood for a good steak tonight. Where should we go?”

“How about Sēr’s?”

“No, I don’t want a new washing machine, I want a cowboy rib-eye. Why would I want to go to Sears?”

Okay, it needs a lot of workshopping but so does the name Sēr. That is the name of the new steakhouse replacing Nana in the Hilton Anatole. Sēr is set to open on October 1, 2012.

If a restaurant name is sent out in a press release and followed by “(pronounced “sear”),” I can tell you there will be trouble. Names should be easy to read and say. A customer should be able to glance at the name, style of font, and get an idea of what they are to expect.

Contemporary marketing people: We are stupid. Asador may be a great restaurant, but it doesn’t sound like one. We like our names simple. Even CampO Modern Bistro can be shortened to as CampO’s. Nobody has to pronounce that silly big O. What would have been wrong with Nana’s Steakhouse? You could have combined some tradition along with your fancy “open, airy layout that is both casual and sophisticated. Warm cognac and whiskey leathers, locally sourced end-grain mesquite walls and community tables, rich mesquite floors and solid walnut tabletops create a masculine, yet hip and urban feel. A chef’s table and wine display will be an intimate destination adjacent to the exhibition kitchen. And, of course, its stunning views make it unique among its competitors.”

Sēr that! Full press release below.

Hilton Anatole Announces New Contemporary Steakhouse

Set to Open This Fall

DALLAS – April 10, 2012 – The legendary Hilton Anatole in Dallas is pleased to announce the creation of its new, contemporary steakhouse, Sēr (pronounced “sear”).

Scheduled to open on October 1, 2012, Sēr will replace the iconic Nana as the premier dining destination in the landmark convention hotel. Boasting some of the most incredible views of the picturesque Dallas skyline, Sēr will offer prime cuts of the finest beef, the freshest of seafood, and unique appetizers and side dishes that will clearly differentiate it as a new style of Dallas steakhouse.

“Visitors to Texas, whether here for business or leisure, continue to flock to its popular steakhouses,” said Harold Rapoza, general manager, Hilton Anatole. “We intend to create a unique steakhouse different from all others in Dallas.”

From a design standpoint, Sēr will be an open, airy layout that is both casual and sophisticated. Warm cognac and whiskey leathers, locally sourced end-grain mesquite walls and community tables, rich mesquite floors and solid walnut tabletops create a masculine, yet hip and urban feel. A chef’s table and wine display will be an intimate destination adjacent to the exhibition kitchen. And, of course, its stunning views make it unique among its competitors.

The culinary offerings of Sēr will highlight a wood grilling technique that will produce amazingly flavorful steaks. In addition, the distinctive side dishes, appetizers and desserts will include many one-of-a-kind offerings in all of Dallas.

Heading up the culinary team of Sēr is Chef Anthony Van Camp, a gifted young Texas native, whose mentor is the legendary Anthony Bombaci, the critically-acclaimed executive chef of Nana, who was recently promoted to hotel chef de cuisine. Having worked with Bombaci for the last six years as executive sous chef, Van Camp is up to the challenge.

“We look forward to elevating the steakhouse concept to a whole new level at Sēr,” said Chef Van Camp. “In a community of wonderful steakhouses, we are positioned to distinguish ourselves with an array of outstanding and unique cuisine.”

Nana will close its doors on June 9, 2012, and construction will begin immediately on Sēr, lasting approximately 90 days, in time for an October 1 opening date.

“The Anatole has an honored tradition of culinary excellence, and Sēr will continue that well into the future,” said Rapoza. “In the same way that Nana became part of the social fabric of Dallas, so will Sēr become just as beloved, and will attract a diverse blend of hotel guests and local residents.”

Chicken Scratch and The Foundry to Open in Oak Cliff

Nancy Nichols — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:47:03 +0000

How long before Oak Cliff secedes from Dallas county to form their own little republic? Think how cool that would be for the business folk: the restaurateurs and funky food shops could make their own rules, they could charge a toll to enter and exit, and fine customers not wearing flannel.

Obviously either Tim Byres, Christopher Jeffers, or Chris Zielke (or all three!) would rule the roost. Today the triumvirate announced two more projects. The owners of Smoke and Bar Belmont took over the 3-acre plot of land that used to be Jack’s Backyard. (Fort Worth Avenue and Pittman St.) First up: Chicken Scratch, a family-friendly restaurant serving—wait for it—“cast-iron fried and wood-fired rotisserie chicken with wholesome handmade sides.” It’s “slow fast food.” (Wouldn’t it be fast slow food? I’ll leave that one for someone else like Jack Perkins.)

Next door to The Scratching Chicken, I mean Chicken Scratch, will be The Foundry. Sounds serious, right? Nope. The Foundry will be a bar offering simple drinks. (Drama! Do I sense a struggle between mixolgists v bartenders?) The drinks with be simple and strong. (I could say something about my ex-husband here but I’ll let it pass.) There will be beer—lots of drafts and bottles and microbrews plus “usual suspects.” Affordable! Live music! And, if they can swing it: the property will be able to “host food and merchandise trucks, drive-in movies, and other community themed events.”

The Foundry is scheduled in early January 2012 and Chicken Scratch “soon after.” (I still think they should have named it Petticoat Junction. Wouldn’t you eat chicken at the Shady Rest? Such a duh.)

Trending: “Scratch” in a restaurant name, fried chicken, and regular bartenders without pork pie hands and mutton chops.” Somebody get me a Realtor.

Smiling Moose Deli to Hit Dallas Like a Pack of Mules

Nancy Nichols — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:03:11 +0000

I’ve seen a lot of moose and, guess what, they don’t smile. They’re ornery, awkward and introverted. Like most animals, the male gets the better outfit: bulls are adorned with spectacular racks (antlers) while the cows (females) look like ugly donkeys. But I’m off target.

A Smiling Moose has been spotted in Carrollton. It is a deli and the first location of the Colorado-based sandwich shop in the DFW area. If Dallas-based real estate broker and managing partner of Racalico, llc, Jennifer Frank has her way, there will be 12 Smiling Moose in Dallas and 50 in Texas. Here’s the menu.

UPPITY DATE: Fun procrastination! Find out if you are a moose! I took the test and I am a crocodile. You?

An Open Letter to Chef DAT

Nancy Nichols — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:06:51 +0000

Dear Chef DAT,

Who are you? I’ve been getting press releases from you for a long time but for the life of me I can’t remember meeting you. I do understand that you live underground and you cook a lot there as well, but do you ever actually come out during the day?

You talk funny. I mean, you write funny. You “sound” like you are totally hip and in with all of the IN people which explains a lot about our relationship. It’s so cool that you are throwing a birthday party for yourself on October 23! You must have lots of friends! Three LIVE bands, CAJUN food, and BYOB! Totally bitchin’. And Thursday, you only have 20 seats left for your super secret dinner in Deep Ellum. Have you done the math? Do you think you can get that many people under the ground in Deep Ellum? It must be so freakin’ dark, dude. Six courses for $66? That dinner is like so effin’ New Testament! And payable in “unmarked, untraceable cash only”? Brilliant.

Keep it up and maybe you’ll get your own restaurant one day. Oh, wait. My spirit is shaking. I’m getting an incoming subliminal message from, wait…oh…I can’t quite make out the voice, I can only hear pigs squealing. Oh, now it’s clear. It’s Steven Doyle LIVE from the State Fair. He says you have a “concept portfolio” for a future restaurant called Twenty-Seven. Far out, it sounds so Satanic! Will you take American Express? Awesome. Keep us posted.

Good luck,

Nancy Nichols

What Would Happen if Women Opened Restaurants With Male Body Parts as Themes

Nancy Nichols — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:12:33 +0000

‘Scuse me while I saddle up my high horse. Am I the only woman who is concerned about the sudden surge in Breastaurants. I mean really 35 additional Twin Peaks? A bar opening in downtown called The Spread Eagle? Seriously boys? How would you like to take your daughter into one of the restaurant’s the gals in our office just conceptualized. We call them Peteries.

Hunky Town, Twin Pricks, Tooter’s, Pecker’s Hot Italian Sausage, Tube Steak Junction, Cake Balls to the Walls, Nuts and Butts, Quickies, Long Dong Silver, Tally Whacker’s, Love Mussels, Wee Willie’s, Twig and Berries.

Ladies, the floor is open.

Opera-Free Shopping at Eatzi’s For One Week

Nancy Nichols — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:56:39 +0000

Eatzi’s has decided to change their music for a few weeks. My ears are so happy. I have nothing against opera music, but when those sopranos hit the high notes while I’m wait for a roasted chicken to get quartered, my cochleas recoil. The opera music will return next week.

Chef Tony Gardizi Rides Again: Café Mykonos in Plano

Nancy Nichols — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:56:52 +0000

Café Mykonos, a “European restaurant with a Greek influence,” is, according to their website, undergoing a facelift. This morning comes word from their head surgeon, chef Tony Gardizi. You remember Tony. He’s cheffed at Vino and Basso, Guthrie’s, Bali Bar, Mi Piaci, and Capriccio Ristoranti. Most recently he went down with the ship at Decanter Restaurant in Bishop Arts. Chef Gardizi’s new menu at Café Mykonos rolls out today.

UPITTY DATE: Gardizi said the new menu is locally sourced New American. It will not be Greek at all.

Jeez, I forgot to mention Vueve. You remember Vueve and Club Nine7Two. The Champagne company got upset and they had to change their name to Vue. There was a miniature Trevi Fountain in the dining room and Gardizi attempted to create Global Cuisine? If you don’t remember, Heather will show you around.

Lewisville, Texas: Home to Breastaurant Row?

Nancy Nichols — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 18:20:25 +0000

Our fab food photographer Kevin Marple is out and about today. He just made a brilliant observation. He says Hooters, Twin Peaks, Tilted Kilt, and Redneck Heaven are all within 1 mile of each other on I-35 in Lewisville. Breastaurant Row!

Brittany Wilkerson Crowned Miss Twin Peaks 2011

Nancy Nichols — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:11:29 +0000

The full press release is below the fold. I haven’t read it, I just looked at the pictures. Twin Peaks, a Dallas-based breasteraurant, that features attractive waitresses, excuse me, Twin Peak Girls. I guess they had a contest because they have picked a winner. You can read the press release below.

Here is my question: Brittany is a lovely girl but don’t you think the winner of Miss Twin Peaks would, how do I say this, have significant peaks? Okay, sorry. I’m a big fat procrastinator promoting sexism.

MISS TWIN PEAKS 2011 HAS BEEN CROWNED!

“Lil’ Brit” from Twin Peaks Frisco wins Bikini All Star Contest

ADDISON, Texas (July 29, 2011) – Brittany Wilkerson of Twin Peaks Frisco was crowned Miss Twin Peaks 2011 at this year’s Bikini All Star Contest on Sunday evening at the ultimate adventure lodge’s flagship location in Addison, Texas.

Four-foot-eleven Wilkerson – affectionately known as “Lil’ Brit” at the Frisco restaurant – edged out Monica McClain (Miss Twin Peaks Austin) and Vanessa Wrigley (Miss Twin Peaks Lewisville) for the title. Miss Twin Peaks 2010, Stephanie Ho of Twin Peaks Round Rock, presented Wilkerson with a tiara and two dozen roses for the win. The two-time Twin Peaks Calendar Girl and model for the restaurant’s uniquely designed mouse pad also earned $1,000 and a feature page in the upcoming Twin Peaks 2012 Calendar.

“I am so, so proud to be named Miss Twin Peaks 2011,” Wilkerson said. “The Bikini All Star Contest – heck, the entire Bikini Season at Twin Peaks – is incredibly fun to be a part of. Taking the title is a bonus! I love being a Twin Peaks Girl, and it feels awesome to know that so many Twin Peaks fans could see that in me during the All Star Contest.”

As Miss Twin Peaks 2011, Wilkerson exemplifies the “girl next door” archetype – confident, beautiful, friendly, warm, and comfortable anywhere, in anything. To determine Miss Twin Peaks, 14 of the restaurants staged their own Bikini Contests full of smiling Girls during the past month. The top two at each event competed at Sunday’s packed, indoor-outdoor Bikini All-Star Contest, which was judged by a mix of company representatives and Dallas-area personalities such as Jay Betsill of The Fort Worth Star-Telegram’s DFW.com and Donovan Lewis of “The Ticket” KTCK-AM (1310).

“Twin Peaks Bikini Season is really a celebration more than a competition,” said co-founder and CEO Randy DeWitt. “It’s a showcase of our beautiful Twin Peaks Girls, who work really hard to look great. Without them, we wouldn’t be having so much success.”

Rachael McCoy (Miss Twin Peaks Addison) took home the Miss Congeniality Award. Other finalists included Cat Wiesenhaus and Jaimie Romero of Twin Peaks Albuquerque, Melissa Trentacosta of Twin Peaks Addison, C.J. Sturdevant and April Schlect of Twin Peaks Plano, and Michelle Edgerly of Twin Peaks Webster.

About Twin Peaks:

Founded in 2005 in the Dallas suburb of Lewisville by successful restaurant veterans Randy DeWitt and Scott Gordon to meet the needs of an untapped market, Twin Peaks features quality food made from scratch and ice cold draft beer served by friendly and attractive Twin Peaks Girls in a mountain sports lodge setting. Named a “2010 Hot Concept!” by Nation’s Restaurant News, the chain has 15 restaurants in Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, and New Mexico, and expects to open at least 10 new restaurants over the next year. More information on Twin Peaks, including locations and franchise information, is available at www.TwinPeaksRestaurant.com.

Park Restaurant Sold and Gets a New Bad Name

Nancy Nichols — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 19:02:01 +0000

A few weeks ago, I actually made a phone call and reported the closure of Park Restaurant. Short story shorter: Owner Donald Chick sold the place to Peter Kenny, owner of Capitol Pub. Today, Teresa Gubbins digs deep in the dirt and reveals Mr. Kenny has already come up with new names for both Park and its sibling, Bar Celine. Park will now be Swig. Really? “Hey gang, let’s go to Swig for brunch?” Doesn’t work for me.

Meanwhile, Bar Celine will be called The Gin Mill. I love gin so I won’t complain about that. However, Swig is going on my Bad Names for Restaurants List. Right beside our this place. Teresa has more important stuff here. (Asador, really chaps my sass.) Moving on.