Find a back issue

Jay Jerrier Hates Children, Takes Away Their Fountain at White Rock Cane Rosso

Cane_Rosso

I’m kidding with the headline, of course. Jay Jerrier, owner of the burgeoning Cane Rosso chain (Fairview?!), doesn’t hate children. He detests them. That’s the only possible explanation for his move to shut down the fountain at his White Rock shop and fill it with dirt and poisonous plants (at least I imagine that they are poisonous). Jerrier announced the death of the fountain yesterday on Facebook. (Teresa Gubbins was on it.) It seems that the fountain gave children too much joy for Jerrier’s comfort. They wandered away from their parents to splash and frolic in it. Throw rocks in it. See how much of it they could absorb with their diapers. So much fun! Awhile back, Jerrier tried to kill the good time with a nasty sign. It didn’t work. So, as I say, he filled it all in with dirt.

But here’s the thing, people: I live not far from that restaurant. And as you can see from the link to Jerrier’s name, I’ve spent some time with the grouchy, old man. As a result of those two facts, I happened to visit the White Rock location one day in May 2013 before it opened. The guy who built the fountain was hard at work, tiling the entire thing with pennies. But neither Jerrier nor this fountain fellow had bothered to put pencil to paper before the project started, so it came as a surprise when they realized exactly how many pennies they’d need. I went out to my car and brought back, like, 50 from my change holder to help out. Eventually, it took about $500 worth of pennies to tile the fountain.

You see where I’m going with this. There’s gold in them there hills. Or, rather, copper under all that dirt. Or zinc. Whatever. It’s money! Parents, just tell your children that there’s $500 buried under all those plants. That’ll keep the li’l buggers busy for hours while you get boozy without a care in the world.

You’re welcome.

20 comments on “Jay Jerrier Hates Children, Takes Away Their Fountain at White Rock Cane Rosso

  1. heaven forbid the owner protect an asset and put it controls for unruly heathens and their awful parents. I like the move. Next step is to just ban kids, then i’ll be there even more often.

  2. It’s a joke, y’all. Calm it down. Obviously Tim doesn’t think Jay really detests kids.

  3. You can think that if you’d like Eee. We will never go back to CRWR after watching Jay drag my 2 year old nephew out of the fountain and spank him violently with a piping hot pizza peel in the middle of dinner rush.

  4. He’s got that big beautiful oven, why not just remind the kids about Hansel and Gretel?

  5. Eee, you know Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”? Jerrier took it literally. No ranch, sure. But I’ve heard of secret midnight invite-only dinners at CRWR where he tops the pies with tender slices of 5-year-old Lakewood children.

  6. Y’all should see the Lakewood, Dallas Facebook group talking about this! It’s WAR! 92 posts and counting! too bad I can’t post a picture here because I’d post the Canadian embassy’s Tweet Russia, not Russia map. CR.I AM sorry about your fountain. It was lovely. Parents should control their kids. I’d LOVE it if y’all would enclose that patio – not matter what was in it. Bring it y’all!

  7. JJ is a total jerk and soon Dallas will tire of his antics and stop supporting his restaurants, then he may be more apt to supporting the families that have supported his family for many years.

  8. Wait, so supporting those families means allowing them to destroy his business’s property?

  9. Hahahaha…cannot stop laughing. This clown will do anything for attention. Most hated person in Dallas? People have to care about you one way or another for that. How about most annoying egomaniac; move over Jerry Jones. And to the poster who made the allusion to ISIS: clearly D Magazine has not a clue what real news is or what’s going on east of Mesquite. BTW, just had 10 lousy pizzas in New York City–had to stop after the first slice…all were better than the mushy slop they shovel out of that hoax of an oven at Kanye Rosso