The media invite came across my inbox like a swift kick from Frank Dux himself. Jean-Claude Van Damme in Dallas? For a special Ser dinner?
For a man who’s had his up and downs yet still managed to “maintain a body crafted to perfection” with “legs engineered to defy the laws of physics,” I thought only briefly of how it seemed strange that he would host a dinner in Dallas with tickets being a measly $169 per person. How can the king of kicks be so modest about his impact on our culture, so much so that it’s almost safe to add it up to a double impact? Being such a hard target, I dropped my sewing kit and rushed out to Ser to embark on what I was certain would be the journey of a lifetime. Well, piss in my Wheaties, it turns out that it’s actually just a dinner featuring the other, and almost as famous, Le Grande Dame from Vueve Clicquot. Everyone knows the flagship yellow bottle from Vueve Clicquot and its power in granting men powers over women that often lead to broken hearts, so it was safe to say this could be a good night.
All lame jokes aside, Ser hosted a beautiful evening in celebration of some remarkable liquids. Sleekness abounds at the 27th-floor steakhouse inside the Hilton Anatole. Clean lines, romantic lighting, and sophisticated accoutrements distinguished the decadent offerings from both Ser and the folks from Moet Hennessy. The Imperial Brut started things off well, followed by the crisp Ruinart, Blanc de Blanc. The kitchen delivered a beautifully seared diver scallop accompanied by winter truffles and celery root. Throughout the evening, ingredients such as seared quince, balsamic brown sugar, and foie gras “bons bons” elevated the experience with excitement. The most notable item from the kitchen had to be Chef Van Kamp’s Wagyu Spinalis. That dude can prepare some beef. Damn. As well, the ruby red rose from Vueve was delicious and topped only by the Beaulieu Vineyard Georges Latour Cabernet Sauvignon. Holy deliciousness… that silky red beauty went down smoothly while making me feel taller than ever before. For a moment, I thought I could see through walls. The La Grande Dame from Vueve Clicquot is pretty much the liquid version of diamonds. Its effortless pearlescent shimmer had a lightness that will be hard to forget. Don’t be jealous, Ser will offer this luxurious bottle in-house as long as it’s available. Their hospitality is harmonious and regal, and the restaurant exudes a fantastic presence of fine dining with great views of the city. I suggest you go. And, lastly, if you read this Mr. Van Damme, I’m sure you know where to find me. I’ll be doing butt clenches to prepare for your landing. Blessings.