Be Scared: Cupcakes ATMs are Coming to Dallas

Yes way.

It’s 1 a.m. and you have a massive cupcake craving that’s ruining your entire night. What do you do? Suck it up? Brave the night, albeit cupcakeless, as man was designed to do since the very beginning of time?

No, because starting as early as fall, word has it that you can go to a cupcake ATM at Sprinkles‘ Plaza at Preston Center location for a late-night snack. The machine is supposed to hold 600 cupcakes at one time, and, according to Bradford Pearson on Park Cities People, “the cupcakes are cycled out to maintain freshness. All uneaten cakes go to a local charity.”

Pray, tell me which local charity would want stale Sprinkles cupcakes? The fresh ones are honestly scary enough. It’s a simple mathematical formula for those of you who understand equations. 1 Sprinkles cupcake consumed = 1 new cavity created.

Convenience has reached a whole new level of ridiculosity. I fear for future generations.

18 comments on “Be Scared: Cupcakes ATMs are Coming to Dallas

  1. If you’re craving a cupcake at 1 a.m you are high. If you are high you can’t operate a vending machine. If you can’t operate a vending machine you will just stare at it. Pretty soon birds will land on your head because they think you’re a statue. If you are a statue you have a poop problem. Don’t be a statue. Get rid of cable and get DirecTV.

  2. Funny, my wife and I always get late night cravings for sweets (without the aid of drugs – Sorry TLS) and we were pretty pumped about this when we heard about it last week. Another option outside of Sonic or a candy bar from 7-11.

    Haters gunna hate. But it will be successful, for the novelty and the newness if nothing else.

  3. Sprinkles is the most overrated and overhyped . Can’t believe they’re still in business.

  4. This ought to take some of the heat off of McDonalds for all those nasty obesity statistics. I wonder if they’ll be the same price, or if there will be a convenience charge.

  5. For the record, Sprinkles cupcakes are not even in the top 10 best cupcake shops in the area!! However, they are certainly the most terminally pretentious! This goes a long way to prove my point!

  6. DRUNK HULK , I want to cry from laughing. That is greatness, best comment ever!!

  7. Ugh! If the Cupcakery were doing this, I would be on board. I prefer their cupcakes.

  8. Didn’t your mama raise you right? “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” :-)

  9. It’s an interesting concept and, for those of us who do like their cupcakes, it should save time when the line at the bakery trails out the door. A little research would have led Carol to Sprinkles’ website which mentions which charities gladly take the “leftovers” like Metrocare Services and Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center. I’ve been a part of several charitable events that Sprinkles supported financially through a portion of sales (and with actual cupcakes) and they’ve always received a warm reception from party-goers. All good things in moderation, right? ;)

  10. I think these are a great idea. But ONLY if the cupcakes dispensed are not stale. Otherwise, forget it.

  11. “Sprinkles cupcakes are not even in the top 10 best cupcake shops in the area!!”
    What ARE the top 10 best cupcake shops in the area ??? Thank you.

  12. Why so snarky, Carol? Just because your mag is not appreciative of FREE cupcakes, doesn’t mean that charities would turn up their noses. It’s a cupcake. Who hates cupcakes? Especially free cupcakes! Sounds like someone is a little too self-important and a little too spoiled. Personally, I like Sprinkles, and it doesn’t seem like they’re hurting for your business or losing any sleep over what you write in your silly, little internet articles. I hope you find what makes you happy and look forward to reading more positive articles when you do. Let’s rise above that b!tc#y Dallas stereotype.

  13. Sprinkles = the McDonalds of cupcakes.

    I’ve never actually paid for one, and I’ve tried almost every flavor on the menu – there are no good ones. Strawberry is okay. I like the frosting like I like McDonalds french fries (delicious, awful, only a once-a-year treat), but I don’t understand why it comes with a plastic toy on top. Those little Sprinkle circle things. They taste awful. Does anyone actually eat them?

  14. I love Sprinkles! They at least have a gluten-free option, unlike many overly frosted locals. Probably wont be going at midnight though. Cute idea.