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Open Letter to Mark Cuban: Shark Tank for Dallas Restaurateurs? I’d Watch it!

Bring it! Let's get this city turned around! (image swiped from ABC)

Dear Mark,

I am addicted to Shark Tank. And because I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to get on the show and present my idea, I’m using the power of my pudgy fingers to reach you. Let’s pick and roll:

I walk on the set of Shark Tank. “Daymond John, you are so out,” I say. “Barbara, if I wanted to sell my cellulite-reducing sous-vide hot dog you’d be my best friend, but I’m keeping it to myself. You’re out.”

I watch the other sharks glance around, really scared at this point, and go for the kill. “Kevin, don’t even open that ugly mouth. You’re out. Robert, you can buy me dinner after the show but, for now, you are dead to me.”

Cameras swing: Close-up of Cuban. Music swells.

Mark. We live in the same city. We love the same teams. More importantly, we eat in the same restaurants. Last night, our city’s finest chef, Bruno Davaillon of the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek, lost Best Chef in the Southwest at the James Beard Awards in New York City to a young chef in Austin who appeared on Top Chef. It has been 18 years since a Dallas chef won this title. We need a local version of Shark Tank geared towards Dallas restaurateurs. That way, you and I can work together to tighten up our game and turn it around. We have the talent, we need the exposure. And that exposure shouldn’t have to come from the Food Network or Bravo.

I propose we put together a panel of experts and ask  restaurateurs to pitch their ideas BEFORE they decide to sink their life savings into an upscale seafood and sushi restaurant in a bad location. Let’s kick the steak house wannabes to Fort Worth. Mark, I’m asking you to invest whatever it takes to help us bring the talent of the Dallas restaurant community to the international scene. In exchange, I offer you fifty percent of my idea. Oh, and you can keep the Mavs.

Looking forward to hearing from you,


P.S. If this helps illustrate my talent: I promoted women’s basketball in Dallas before the Mavericks were a thought in your brain. Just ask Nancy Lieberman.

12 comments on “Open Letter to Mark Cuban: Shark Tank for Dallas Restaurateurs? I’d Watch it!

  1. Whats up with the dig on Fort Worth??? We have some pretty incredible stuff going on besides steak houses! Let me buy you lunch at Elerbees sometime. Or dinner at Grace.

  2. Why just Dallas? This would be an awesome show… a panel of top chefs looking to invest in new restaurants… approached by chefs with concepts and dishes. It pairs the awesomeness of Shark Tank with some good ol’ fashioned food porn. I’d watch for sure!

  3. This was already a show called Last Restaurant Standing, three seasons on BBC America.

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  5. Pingback: Dallas-Based Zaccanelli Food Group Acquires Hofmann Sausage Company. Phil Romano Will Make the World Hot Dog Happy! | SideDish