An Olive Garden Review, Called “The Greatest Restaurant Review Ever Written,” is Going Viral

The cutest old lady from Grand Forks, North Dakota is putting me and Nancy to shame. Columnist Marilyn Hagerty of the Grand Forks Herald wrote a touching review of a new Olive Garden that opened up in her city this past week, and the article has attracted over 100,000 page views since its publication on Monday. Daaaaamn.

For her meal, Hagerty ate a chicken Alfredo pasta and drank a cup of water. She writes of the server: “She first brought me the familiar Olive Garden salad bowl with crisp greens, peppers, onion rings and yes — several black olives. Along with it came a plate with two long, warm breadsticks.”

She goes on to earnestly praise the Olive Garden for being “the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks. It attracts visitors from out of town as well as people who live here.” (Marilyn, honey, maybe it’s time to move….)

In response to her popularity, Hagerty told the Village Voice, “I don’t get it. I don’t have time to sit here and twit over whether some self-styled food expert likes, or does not like, my column.”

This article, for some mysterious reason, has 1) increased my desire to eat those remarkable breadsticks at Olive Garden and 2) kowtow to Marilyn’s genius writing. There’s no way you can’t fawn over a lady who simply finds joy in having black olives in her salad!