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This Little Piggy Went Downtown

Oh yeah, it's for real.

We’re suckers for any press release that contains the following sentences:

  • Yes, this is really real.
  • Don’t you judge us; we all knew it would end up here someday.
  • And yeah, your right we probably did go too far this time.
  • Sorry, Mom.

It seems a couple well-intentioned entrepreneurs have teamed up with J&D’s Foods to create a little something they’re calling baconlube—the world’s first bacon-flavored, water-based, American-made, personal lubricant.

Billing itself as the “gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils” (natch) baconlube, they say, is like the McRib of sex: it’s delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time, and is in short supply.

If you’re thinking “stocking stuffer!” (let’s stay on track here), we’re right behind you. But the boys only made 3,000 bottles of this pork-flavored nectar. It hit the interwebs yesterday at www.baconlube.com. How much, you ask, for a product that promises such a satisfying holiday season? Only $11.99.

you know you want more. jump for it…Still on the fence? Here’s a little rationalization.

FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canada’s market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.

Need I mention, we’ve requested a sample?

13 comments on “This Little Piggy Went Downtown

  1. Pingback: Sex lube gives new meaning to bacon lover – Montreal Gazette - Necesaro

  2. i love that it was filed under “newfangled condiments” (among other interesting categories).

  3. I am most intrigued by what D Magazine considers related links to bacon flavored lube:

    - Abraham Salum eating Malaysian
    - Ideas for Teenage girl parties
    - Ron Corning.

  4. Of course it’s Kosher–you just know it’s made with turkey bacon.

    But think of the stuffing.

  5. Won’t she be embarrassed when he comments how “bacony” it is down there and she realizes that this time she isn’t using it. Sexy-time KO.

  6. Can I get a breakfast sampler set? Pancakes, syrup, sausage, BACON, omelet, wash it down with a glass of big O-j? Morning sex anyone?