Douchey Bars in Dallas

Posted on June 1st, 2011 11:29am by Nancy Nichols
Filed under Bars, Cheap trick for comments, Cult Cuisine, GO MAVS!, Keep Dallas Douchey!, Mixology is fancy for bartender, Overprivileged chimps, Procrastination is part of the creative process, questionable judgment, youthful spontaneous restaurants

Many times we have some interesting conversations in the glamorous open offices at D Magazine. None of us have any secrets because each time one of us takes a phone call or starts a conversation, any a co-worker within 40 yards can hear what you say. The other day a riveting conversation about douchey bars in Dallas started in one corner of the office and spread across the entire 21st floor.

I, once again, disregarded my mother’s advice, and decided to sink to a new low: I would like to  start a list of douchey bars and restaurants in Dallas. Calling a place douchey– uninteresting, stale, preppy, mainstream, especially in a self-promoting way–swings both ways. Some people look for douchery while others avoid it. So, the term isn’t necessarily negative,  it’s just an adjective. On your mark, get set, procrastinate below.

83 comments

  1. Doesn’t this discussion start and stop with the Candle Room?

    @ 11:34 am on June 1, 2011

  2. J Blacks and Capitol Pub. :(

    @ 11:38 am on June 1, 2011

  3. i define douchey as pretension without substance. the mansion is pretensious but not douchey.

    getting married pretty much eliminated douchebaggery from my social scene. cause let’s face it, there is only one reason to go to a douchebar. to find the women that love douchebags (guys, not literal)

    @ 11:39 am on June 1, 2011

  4. The patio at Dallas Chop House. More shirt guys than you can shake a stick at.

    @ 11:43 am on June 1, 2011

  5. It would be MUCH easier to produce a list of the non-douchey bars …

    @ 11:44 am on June 1, 2011

  6. The Candle Room is still open?

    @ 11:44 am on June 1, 2011

  7. Victory Tavern…as empty and soulless as a hooker’s heart.

    @ 11:48 am on June 1, 2011

  8. “Lots of rhinestones on your shirt huh? No, no…just stay over there.” – At every guy at every club on Main Street.

    @ 11:53 am on June 1, 2011

  9. OK, so it’s a ‘lounge’ and not a bar, but Wish is gotta be at the top of the douche-baggery list

    @ 11:58 am on June 1, 2011

  10. Katy Trail Ice House — lots of douches in sheep’s clothes

    @ 12:00 pm on June 1, 2011

  11. any place with bottle service in Dallas is douchey. and any place where you find lots of Ed Hardy/Affliction/etc shirts.

    @ 12:03 pm on June 1, 2011

  12. Nosh………

    @ 12:24 pm on June 1, 2011

  13. “lots of Ed Hardy/Affliction/etc shirts.”

    Doesn’t that just about describe most of the bars in Uptown?

    @ 12:43 pm on June 1, 2011

  14. I follow the One Word Name Rule. If it’s only got one word in its name, there is an exceedingly high probability that it is douchey. E.g., Mantis; Wish; Aura; Plush.

    @ 12:55 pm on June 1, 2011

  15. Isn’t every bar in Dallas douchey? Exceptions: Old Monk, Barcadia, The Libertine.

    @ 1:09 pm on June 1, 2011

  16. Lemon Bar (do they still have stopper poles and graffitti art?)

    @ 1:13 pm on June 1, 2011

  17. Stopper = stripper

    @ 1:14 pm on June 1, 2011

  18. lots of confusion between “hipsters” and “douches” in this thread.

    douches are people who dress all alike in ed hardy and unilaterally love bottle service.

    hipsters are people who dress all alike in ironic t shirts or pearl snaps and unilaterally hate bottle service. they all sit around looking exactly the same making fun of the douches who all look exactly the same.

    @ 1:15 pm on June 1, 2011

  19. any bar/collection of photos listed on the main page of D Magazine: “Seen on the Scene”

    @ 1:22 pm on June 1, 2011

  20. Katy Trail Ice House has got to be the douchiest place on the planet!

    @ 1:29 pm on June 1, 2011

  21. Blackfinn takes the cake for me… but yeah, there are a spectacular amount of douchey bars/clubs/lounges in Dallas. Lotus is another that just makes me cringe.

    @ 1:35 pm on June 1, 2011

  22. Thanks for all of your comments. I am learning a lot. I just learned douchbaguette! What would you call an older version of a douchbaguette? CTX: funny. Never thought of D as douchey but now that I’m looking around….

    @ 1:41 pm on June 1, 2011

  23. How is it that everyone in Dallas hates douches, but there are still so many?

    @ 1:53 pm on June 1, 2011

  24. Kara — sampling error. Those of us who visit Sidedish or enjoy the magazine can read; your average doucher cannot.

    @ 1:55 pm on June 1, 2011

  25. @jonfromtjs Thank you for the laugh!

    @ 2:02 pm on June 1, 2011

  26. I would say Lemon Bar, Candleroom, Wish & all the other “one word” names that are supposed to sound “cool” but just aren’t.

    @ 2:07 pm on June 1, 2011

  27. Drive down McKinney Ave

    @ 2:15 pm on June 1, 2011

  28. The bar at Ocean Prime, Lemon Bar, J Blacks….

    @ 2:20 pm on June 1, 2011

  29. The patio at Katy Trail Ice House is too fun to concede to the d-bags. Keep going…

    @ 3:26 pm on June 1, 2011

  30. The bar at Bob’s Steak & Chop House on Lemmon, for sure!

    @ 3:29 pm on June 1, 2011

  31. Wow. Yes Nancy. New Low. Completely unnecessary thread.
    The truth is that every place has an element of people that another segment of shortsighted people can trash talk about if they perceive themselves to be on the ‘better’ side of the fence. I have had it with the whole ‘d-bag’ label being throw around in so many cruel ways to mark so many different types of people depending upon where their allegiances lie. I think Dr. Seuss had it right long ago… http://youtu.be/sh1qWZWNGGE

    @ 3:42 pm on June 1, 2011

  32. Ocean Prime, Ritz Bar, Eddie V’s, Ghost Bar.

    @ 4:21 pm on June 1, 2011

  33. Forking, yes I admit it. I am late to the whole d-bag phenomenon. And I think people will always trash talk and perceive themselves as being on the better side of the fence. I’m sure there will be another term soon if there isn’t already. But, like birds, people of a certain type do flock together.

    @ 4:25 pm on June 1, 2011

  34. Affliction graphic tees, pointy black shoes, bulging muscles and over the top jeans constitute the typical dbag for me…unfortunately they over run decent bars in our fair burg. Drive by the patio bar on a sunny Sunday afternoon and you will be amazed.

    @ 4:33 pm on June 1, 2011

  35. For halloween 2 years ago, we had a big group that were an “Ed Hardy Party”. we bought ed hardy EVERYTHING from TJ Maxx: hats, sparkle jeans, fur hoodies, fake tatoos, shoes, t shirts, etc.

    (PS, if you can buy a label at TJ Maxx, it probably isn’t as fancy as you think it is).

    Wore it all out, and offered anyone who walked by Ed Hardy Hand Sanitizer or a light from our Ed Hardy Lighters.

    Funniest…many people couldn’t figure out we were a costume. Douches came up to us and said “what dorks, you guys didn’t even get dressed up?”

    Best of all? We returned it all to TJ Maxx the next day. Now THAT is a douchey move.

    not sure if this link will work.

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1251856020870&set=t.1363594448&type=1&theater

    @ 4:44 pm on June 1, 2011

  36. @Downtownist – love it!! Great point.

    @ 4:51 pm on June 1, 2011

  37. This post just cracked me up. Made my day!

    @ 5:16 pm on June 1, 2011

  38. wow… so many to name.. but your right the douche factor goes both ways.. from hippsters to the ed hardy guys. but wish , candle room , the new elm st bar , sugar shack , any patio on greenville and knox and henderson during the day on the weekend , anything in uptown , dubliner on the weekend nights , that pretty much leaves , ships and dallasite … well i really don’t even go to those places. never mind. I only go to my own bar.. in my house, the drinks are cheap and i don’t have to drive.. lol

    @ 5:17 pm on June 1, 2011

  39. Trophy Room has become way too douchey for the atmosphere of the bar. Probably because they’re all waiting to watch a girl in a skirt fly off the mechanical bull and flash her underwear (or lack thereof) in the air.

    Also Primo’s on Tuesday night. I think that’s the ultimate.

    @ 5:18 pm on June 1, 2011

  40. This thread is when I wish Sidedish had a “like” button. It made me laugh!! So many places.

    @ 5:29 pm on June 1, 2011

  41. Tough to name a ton of spots that aren’t douchey dalls bars. Dallas bars/clubs are all full of carlton-like SMU Clowns, Future MMA “world champs” and Faux Hipsters. Its the only city I’ve been to where shitty fashion dictates the overall mo.

    Candle Room is the spot all day everyday!

    @ 5:29 pm on June 1, 2011

  42. The Inwood Lounge reached the Douchebag Status 1 level a long time ago.

    @ 5:31 pm on June 1, 2011

  43. So where’s the list?

    @ 5:54 pm on June 1, 2011

  44. Katy Trail Ice House security force is trained in douche elimination

    @ 6:14 pm on June 1, 2011

  45. Love love LOVE the breakdown of Douche vs Hipster by jonfromtjs. Yes, bottle service, valet-only parking, Ed Hardy & Affliction clothing, but can we add overly fake-tanned, leathery orange flesh, popped collars, and excessive bling to the list, too?

    Oh, and if they really, REALLY like Ke$ha. IJS.

    @ 6:15 pm on June 1, 2011

  46. Any bar with a promoter named Avi

    @ 6:25 pm on June 1, 2011

  47. Zen @ Austin ranch….even the apartment is douched out!

    @ 7:03 pm on June 1, 2011

  48. Aura is douched out too….

    @ 7:08 pm on June 1, 2011

  49. I almost forgot about zouk.

    @ 7:11 pm on June 1, 2011

  50. I avoid douchebags… I avoid Uptown. Prefer me a Lakewood bar anyday.

    @ 7:18 pm on June 1, 2011

  51. Anyplace that has a velvet rope and a doorman and their best selling drink involves Red Bull.

    @ 7:22 pm on June 1, 2011

  52. Anyone who has spent at least one hour in Dallas “nightlife” can tell you that it would take far too much time to list off individual douchetoriums. You’re far better off listing the names of entire streets/areas that appeals to the “lifeform”. Any place in Dallas that is deemed “hot” will be brim filled with d’baggers. So much so that even when someplace remotely cool opens up, the number of d’nozzles that show up run off anyone that might be slightly interesting and human. The nickname “Big D” doesnt just stand for ‘Dallas’ anymore…if you get my meaning.

    @ 8:22 pm on June 1, 2011

  53. and to be fair…being a douchebag doesnt start/stop at what you wear….some people are just super trendy and have no fashion sense…that doesnt make them a douchebag. You can still be afflicted (no pun intended) with bad style and sheeple mentality and STILL be a normal person. An inflated sense of self importance, a horrible personality, new money show off tendencies, a loud mouth, and a never ending need for high school style popularity points are the qualities that make one a douche.

    @ 8:32 pm on June 1, 2011

  54. I’m grateful to no longer have any insights as to which Dallas bars are douche-ey. …That being said, i also concede that on the other side of my adopted area of Santa Monica/ L.A, CA, in Hollywood, we have a standard of douche-ey that may afford my fine Dallas friends some gratitude, although douche-ey does find itself global. …

    @ 8:54 pm on June 1, 2011

  55. I concur with most every locale on the list and just thought of a recent douche filled evening spent at the new Sfuzzi’s. Also, how does Cretia’s continue to move around town and attract the same douche crowd at every location. Maybe they should just call it quits.

    @ 8:58 pm on June 1, 2011

  56. Dallas is a douchebag city. Finding a spot not infiltrated by douchebags or douche hipsters (aka OC these days) is mighty tough. I would name the douche-free zones, but you douchers would show up. But my garage is still douche free, most days, at least, and you can still smoke in there.

    BTW: Went to Local for the first time in four years last week. Covered in douche bags. They are like cockroaches.

    @ 9:42 pm on June 1, 2011

  57. Inspired by this post: Henderson Art Project=Douche-art

    @ 9:43 pm on June 1, 2011

  58. Agreed with Peter 100%…it’s almost not even worth going out anymore. To avoid them is literally almost 1000% impossible. Dallas nurtures the douchebag mentality because the city focuses so much on what you’ve acquired, who you hang out with, who beats on their chest the hardest and all the other superficial qualities that d’bags find desirable. Even my gay friends have said that d’bags have infiltrated their community (one of my friends calls them ‘douchef*gs’, his term, not mine…not being derogatory) I went out a couple of weeks ago and in front of this club that rhymes with ‘splush’, two guys were having a punching contest…as in punching each other to see who could hit hardest………really?…really.

    @ 10:36 pm on June 1, 2011

  59. Add Katy Trail Ice House to the list. That place is a douche magnet!!

    @ 10:54 pm on June 1, 2011

  60. my favorite d-bag dallas scene involves the opening of the now defunct manhattan bar at cedar springs and routh. i lived at the mirabella across the street, and the area, prior to MB’s opening, was incredibly quiet at night. Then, one friday night, my husband and I walked out the door to take a walk down cole, and there were people EVERYWHERE. I was new to uptown Dallas, and I learned how quickly a hotspot could develop, only to be abandoned soon thereafter for some place better. personally, i’m an east dallas girl and love me some libertine and times ten. although the patronage of times ten can yield towards the snooty side, they’re perfectly cromulent and i’d take them over ed hardy d-bags any day.

    @ 10:59 pm on June 1, 2011

  61. I think people who say “love me some” are douchey. Jonfromtjs wins great story

    @ 11:30 pm on June 1, 2011

  62. oh my god, seriously? i thought we were discussing bars and not vernacular. and this from a person with the name of “vibrating batteries”? sigh.

    @ 11:36 pm on June 1, 2011

  63. The truth is most bars would rather have the money coming in that these so called “douche” bars bring in…they don’t so in retaliation they just say it’s douchey to save face…..hasn’t changed in the 20 yrs i’ve been in the business…Dallas bar patrons always want to be at the next hot and trendy location.

    @ 2:55 am on June 2, 2011

  64. Worrying about what bars are douchey or not strikes me as fairly douchey in and of itself. Spending much time on this is possibly a red flag. In fact, I feel a little dirty just posting. That said, any place that has the primary purpose of being seen is pretty bad. Further, people who think Dallas is douchey and that douche bars are unavoidable are pretty inexperienced and narrow of scope and likely on the fringe of douchiness. This is a metroplex of over 6 million people. Get over yourselves and go drink all you sneaky douchers.

    @ 3:01 am on June 2, 2011

  65. Anything north of LBJ will certainly qualify.

    @ 8:24 am on June 2, 2011

  66. jonfromtjs – ALL Ed Hardy on Halloween picture was classic.

    @ 8:33 am on June 2, 2011

  67. just follow the fickle 500. oc is pretty far from douchey btw. well, most of it.

    @ 8:50 am on June 2, 2011

  68. funny, when i first got into the bar business over 20 years ago “the fickle 500″ was a group that everyone tried to avoid attracting. I find it funny that not only do people still use that term, but now it seems like people WANT to open a business that’s only hot until the very next place opens up, and to have no loyal customer base. The bad thing about that group is that they are, for lack of a better word…a**holes. They’re rude to everyone from the door person, to the dj, to the barstaff, to other customers…and they stomp around like they own the place because 10 of them got together and threw in 20 bucks each for a bottle. Whoop dee damn doo!! You got a bottle! Great…but none of you tipped the waitress!

    @ 11:07 am on June 2, 2011

  69. omgosh LAGRANGE deep ellum is the douche capital of dallas!! stupid place…. kid bands ghey drinks. Anyplace that would have the cords to the song lagrange on the door….please. THIS PLACE STINKS!! The owner is a total douche !!!

    @ 11:23 am on June 2, 2011

  70. I find it odd that for so many people bagging on DB’s, you all seem to know where they are hanging out. Could it be because you’re hanging out there too?

    @ 11:44 am on June 2, 2011

  71. Nance, I’m totally stealing this for Real Estate… Douchey houses, douchey agents, douchey prices at http://www.candysdirt.com. Oh my I am getting chills! Love you!

    @ 11:48 am on June 2, 2011

  72. Thank God for the Old Monk, Meridian Room, Libertine and Cosmo’s. Come get a drink minus the 3-series BMW, mounding debt and self-importance.

    @ 11:56 am on June 2, 2011

  73. For a quick visual primer on douchebaggery, check out The Chive photo blogs on the subject… http://thechive.com/?s=douchebag

    @ 12:59 pm on June 2, 2011

  74. Scott, well said with, “An inflated sense of self importance, a horrible personality, new money show off tendencies, a loud mouth, and a never ending need for high school style popularity points are the qualities that make one a douche.” You nailed it right on the head.

    @ 1:40 pm on June 2, 2011

  75. Is it just me or is it mostly the places that feel like they’re meat markets that really hold all the douche personality types? I think anyone can be a douche and a bar can easily fill with them when it’s all about getting wasted before the bar closes and finding the nearest person to go home with or at least try to go home with. Just the way I read a bar and whether or not I stay long.

    @ 1:58 pm on June 2, 2011

  76. The Douche de resistance is Monkey Bar atop MiCocina in Highland Park Village. Yes, Ed Hardy douches are bad, but the Monkey Bar is filled with people who hit the scene out of Douchessity, meaning, they don’t feel comfortable in their own douchey skin unless their mingling with other entitled douches.

    @ 4:35 pm on June 2, 2011

  77. So many laughs and previously unknown variations of the term, douchebag. Awesome.

    @ 5:39 pm on June 2, 2011

  78. I think you hit a nerve with Forking Around. He must have a closetful of Ed Hardy. Trying to guilt us with Dr. Seuss for having a few laughs? Now that’s just downright douchey.

    @ 8:50 pm on June 2, 2011

  79. Nancy, I doubt the term “douchebag” is going anywhere soon. I first heard it used in this context when I was in my twenties in the 1960s. It’s such a useful term, as jonfromtjs so aptly pointed out, because it covers such a broad range of people, depending on where you’re sitting in the room. To people my age, it denotes almost everyone young enough to believe that he and his buddies invented cool.

    @ 9:04 pm on June 2, 2011

  80. From a security guard:

    Douche-ectomy = Tossing out two or more douches who get into a fight at a local douche-eria (Spanish for douche factory).

    @ 12:01 pm on June 3, 2011

  81. @harridavidson Aren’t you affiliated with Katy Trail Ice House…

    Either way those goons at the ice house aren’t very well trained. They have more douchbags than weeds at that place.

    (and who’s that MP person…)

    @ 12:28 am on June 4, 2011

  82. @CTX…LMAO

    @ 9:24 am on June 4, 2011

  83. Old Douches in toupes are always in residence at the Mansion bar.

    @ 12:38 am on June 5, 2011