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Douchey Bars in Dallas

Many times we have some interesting conversations in the glamorous open offices at D Magazine. None of us have any secrets because each time one of us takes a phone call or starts a conversation, any a co-worker within 40 yards can hear what you say. The other day a riveting conversation about douchey bars in Dallas started in one corner of the office and spread across the entire 21st floor.

I, once again, disregarded my mother’s advice, and decided to sink to a new low: I would like to  start a list of douchey bars and restaurants in Dallas. Calling a place douchey– uninteresting, stale, preppy, mainstream, especially in a self-promoting way–swings both ways. Some people look for douchery while others avoid it. So, the term isn’t necessarily negative,  it’s just an adjective. On your mark, get set, procrastinate below.

  • Ghirlandaio

    Anyplace that has a velvet rope and a doorman and their best selling drink involves Red Bull.

  • scott

    Anyone who has spent at least one hour in Dallas “nightlife” can tell you that it would take far too much time to list off individual douchetoriums. You’re far better off listing the names of entire streets/areas that appeals to the “lifeform”. Any place in Dallas that is deemed “hot” will be brim filled with d’baggers. So much so that even when someplace remotely cool opens up, the number of d’nozzles that show up run off anyone that might be slightly interesting and human. The nickname “Big D” doesnt just stand for ‘Dallas’ anymore…if you get my meaning.

  • scott

    and to be fair…being a douchebag doesnt start/stop at what you wear….some people are just super trendy and have no fashion sense…that doesnt make them a douchebag. You can still be afflicted (no pun intended) with bad style and sheeple mentality and STILL be a normal person. An inflated sense of self importance, a horrible personality, new money show off tendencies, a loud mouth, and a never ending need for high school style popularity points are the qualities that make one a douche.

  • daleo

    I’m grateful to no longer have any insights as to which Dallas bars are douche-ey. …That being said, i also concede that on the other side of my adopted area of Santa Monica/ L.A, CA, in Hollywood, we have a standard of douche-ey that may afford my fine Dallas friends some gratitude, although douche-ey does find itself global. …

  • sausage on a stick

    I concur with most every locale on the list and just thought of a recent douche filled evening spent at the new Sfuzzi’s. Also, how does Cretia’s continue to move around town and attract the same douche crowd at every location. Maybe they should just call it quits.

  • Peter

    Dallas is a douchebag city. Finding a spot not infiltrated by douchebags or douche hipsters (aka OC these days) is mighty tough. I would name the douche-free zones, but you douchers would show up. But my garage is still douche free, most days, at least, and you can still smoke in there.

    BTW: Went to Local for the first time in four years last week. Covered in douche bags. They are like cockroaches.

  • Peter

    Inspired by this post: Henderson Art Project=Douche-art

  • scott

    Agreed with Peter 100%…it’s almost not even worth going out anymore. To avoid them is literally almost 1000% impossible. Dallas nurtures the douchebag mentality because the city focuses so much on what you’ve acquired, who you hang out with, who beats on their chest the hardest and all the other superficial qualities that d’bags find desirable. Even my gay friends have said that d’bags have infiltrated their community (one of my friends calls them ‘douchef*gs’, his term, not mine…not being derogatory) I went out a couple of weeks ago and in front of this club that rhymes with ‘splush’, two guys were having a punching contest…as in punching each other to see who could hit hardest………really?…really.

  • Daen

    Add Katy Trail Ice House to the list. That place is a douche magnet!!

  • kb

    my favorite d-bag dallas scene involves the opening of the now defunct manhattan bar at cedar springs and routh. i lived at the mirabella across the street, and the area, prior to MB’s opening, was incredibly quiet at night. Then, one friday night, my husband and I walked out the door to take a walk down cole, and there were people EVERYWHERE. I was new to uptown Dallas, and I learned how quickly a hotspot could develop, only to be abandoned soon thereafter for some place better. personally, i’m an east dallas girl and love me some libertine and times ten. although the patronage of times ten can yield towards the snooty side, they’re perfectly cromulent and i’d take them over ed hardy d-bags any day.

  • VibratingBatteries

    I think people who say “love me some” are douchey. Jonfromtjs wins great story

  • kb

    oh my god, seriously? i thought we were discussing bars and not vernacular. and this from a person with the name of “vibrating batteries”? sigh.

  • thetruth

    The truth is most bars would rather have the money coming in that these so called “douche” bars bring in…they don’t so in retaliation they just say it’s douchey to save face…..hasn’t changed in the 20 yrs i’ve been in the business…Dallas bar patrons always want to be at the next hot and trendy location.

  • EJH

    Worrying about what bars are douchey or not strikes me as fairly douchey in and of itself. Spending much time on this is possibly a red flag. In fact, I feel a little dirty just posting. That said, any place that has the primary purpose of being seen is pretty bad. Further, people who think Dallas is douchey and that douche bars are unavoidable are pretty inexperienced and narrow of scope and likely on the fringe of douchiness. This is a metroplex of over 6 million people. Get over yourselves and go drink all you sneaky douchers.

  • Tater

    Anything north of LBJ will certainly qualify.

  • omeizer

    jonfromtjs – ALL Ed Hardy on Halloween picture was classic.

  • Matt

    just follow the fickle 500. oc is pretty far from douchey btw. well, most of it.

  • scott

    funny, when i first got into the bar business over 20 years ago “the fickle 500” was a group that everyone tried to avoid attracting. I find it funny that not only do people still use that term, but now it seems like people WANT to open a business that’s only hot until the very next place opens up, and to have no loyal customer base. The bad thing about that group is that they are, for lack of a better word…a**holes. They’re rude to everyone from the door person, to the dj, to the barstaff, to other customers…and they stomp around like they own the place because 10 of them got together and threw in 20 bucks each for a bottle. Whoop dee damn doo!! You got a bottle! Great…but none of you tipped the waitress!

  • anita

    omgosh LAGRANGE deep ellum is the douche capital of dallas!! stupid place…. kid bands ghey drinks. Anyplace that would have the cords to the song lagrange on the door….please. THIS PLACE STINKS!! The owner is a total douche !!!

  • Cosby

    I find it odd that for so many people bagging on DB’s, you all seem to know where they are hanging out. Could it be because you’re hanging out there too?

  • Candy Evans

    Nance, I’m totally stealing this for Real Estate… Douchey houses, douchey agents, douchey prices at Oh my I am getting chills! Love you!

  • Don

    Thank God for the Old Monk, Meridian Room, Libertine and Cosmo’s. Come get a drink minus the 3-series BMW, mounding debt and self-importance.

  • Glenn

    For a quick visual primer on douchebaggery, check out The Chive photo blogs on the subject…

  • AB

    Scott, well said with, “An inflated sense of self importance, a horrible personality, new money show off tendencies, a loud mouth, and a never ending need for high school style popularity points are the qualities that make one a douche.” You nailed it right on the head.

  • AB

    Is it just me or is it mostly the places that feel like they’re meat markets that really hold all the douche personality types? I think anyone can be a douche and a bar can easily fill with them when it’s all about getting wasted before the bar closes and finding the nearest person to go home with or at least try to go home with. Just the way I read a bar and whether or not I stay long.

  • DGirl

    The Douche de resistance is Monkey Bar atop MiCocina in Highland Park Village. Yes, Ed Hardy douches are bad, but the Monkey Bar is filled with people who hit the scene out of Douchessity, meaning, they don’t feel comfortable in their own douchey skin unless their mingling with other entitled douches.

  • Teia Collier

    So many laughs and previously unknown variations of the term, douchebag. Awesome.

  • Betty

    I think you hit a nerve with Forking Around. He must have a closetful of Ed Hardy. Trying to guilt us with Dr. Seuss for having a few laughs? Now that’s just downright douchey.

  • Dana

    Nancy, I doubt the term “douchebag” is going anywhere soon. I first heard it used in this context when I was in my twenties in the 1960s. It’s such a useful term, as jonfromtjs so aptly pointed out, because it covers such a broad range of people, depending on where you’re sitting in the room. To people my age, it denotes almost everyone young enough to believe that he and his buddies invented cool.

  • rdub

    From a security guard:

    Douche-ectomy = Tossing out two or more douches who get into a fight at a local douche-eria (Spanish for douche factory).

  • Daen

    @harridavidson Aren’t you affiliated with Katy Trail Ice House…

    Either way those goons at the ice house aren’t very well trained. They have more douchbags than weeds at that place.

    (and who’s that MP person…)

  • slade


  • The Janitor

    Old Douches in toupes are always in residence at the Mansion bar.