A Poem About Leslie Brenner

Over on our other blog, I made reference this morning to Leslie Brenner’s story about how she lost 30 pounds. A commenter offered up a poem that felt deserved a wider audience. It contains a vulgar word, but since the writer was going for a rhyme scheme, I found it unoffensive and left it in. Enjoy:

It’s not hard to lose weight when you’re busy feeding your ego.

FEED THE EGO

“How lucky for me, the big time’s been made,
Avner has recognized my powerful blade
Of a pen which decides “Av” and “Av-not”
Bonus stars for you, I now like what you’ve got.”
(The rest of the industry, slaps foreheads, with groan
Another Avner restaurant? C’mon. They all moan.)
A few nights of noshing, results are recognized
Leslie’s opinion of great dining, unparallelized.

Yet a Dean, or a Chris, or a Jeff, she’s disdainful
As not up to snuff, her judgement just painful,
Writing of Dallas’ favored food made for pleasure.
Except for a steak or two we question her measure
Of what is a two, or a three, or a four,
Maybe your point is really to re-score.
King-maker, Queen-bee, there’s really no difference
In her efforts to exert her growing influence.

But the problem lies further, as I’m sure we’ve all known
To the top of the News, where her hiring was sown
By editors searching for solutions. They’re bidding
To bring back former readers, c’mon are you kidding?
I’d consider this, except for ill-written skinny bitch
Whose effort to change us seems to have hitten a hitch.
So listen to the “Boo’s”, readers comments resound,
Diet-time, DMN, a suggestion, please lose a LB?