Exclusive! We Find Ideal Location For Avner Samuel’s Next Restaurant!

The imminent closure of Avner Samuel’s Aurora need not be in vain. We have found the ideal location for his next restaurant. It has a picturesque location, stunning views and is barely a Cadillac Escalade’s 60-0 braking distance from downtown Dallas. In fact, it’s a proven restaurant location– the hilltop  held Baby Doe’s Matchless Mine for longer than the Dallas North Tollway has gone to Oklahoma. Even the approach road has a locavore name Goat Hill Rd. Jump for the joy of discovery!

Just a few pictures illustrate the compelling features of the location.

The stunning entrance has a nature preserve quality, helping diners feel that they are in the heart of the countryside. Those who suffer from nosebleeds at the top are conveniently close to Parkland hospital.

The art work is already in place on the walls, courtesy of a previous occupant. If you guessed that this was painted by the famous Spanish artist, Joan Miró, your intuition is sound. It’s actually a work by his brother, Colin. He is much less well known on account of his early dearth from syphilis. He was 10. Note the filigree anointing the top of the wall.

These features will attract a sophisticated clientele, sure. But it is on the opposite side of the building that patrons will get the biggest shock. The balcony opens spectacularly just yards from an electricity transmission substation. Power couples will get a front row seat. Guests can thrill to the low omnipresent hum of high tension power transmission backing the live cellist on weekends while they eat catfish so fresh it was swimming in the adjacent Trinity River just minutes before it was browned by sticking a pole out of the window with the fish on the end.

Smoked food will take on a new meaning as 200,000 cars a day snake past on I-35 and the Tollway approach.

In long waits, likely due to its inevitable popularity when the restaurant opens, guests can peruse the Inca ruins next door. Some with meaningful hieroglyphics like “Jonny **** Jill”. Apparently a reference to a pre-modern sex ritual.

3 comments on “Exclusive! We Find Ideal Location For Avner Samuel’s Next Restaurant!

  1. Needless to say it’d take a boatload of money, but someone could do something great there. The Harry Hines access isn’t the best (hello valet!) but it backs up to the Katy Trail and butts up against the AAC. There could be awesome patio dining for games, people on the trail, residents along the trail. I’m sad to see it empty and such a mess.

  2. That location is the best in Dallas. I was a mgr at Baby Doe’s for 6 yrs & loved it.