What’s Really in a Can of Whoopass?

Posted on July 26th, 2010 2:51pm by Renae Allison
Filed under Uncategorized

Saturday night a few of us went to dinner at the new Knox-Henderson restaurant Horne & Dekker, where the tables centerpieces are a trio of house-labeled peas, carrots, and tomatoes. Kitschy. And useful: servers use the cans to serve the hot pizza pies. After dinner, on the way out the door, I spotted a different kind of can on a serving cart on the patio. A can of Whoopass. I blame the desserts for what happened then: the sugar high from a slice of coconut cream pie, peaches with caramel sauce and ice cream, and peanut butter buckeyes impaired my judgment, and I slipped this can of Whoopass in my purse. And then I couldn’t stop wondering, “What is really in a can of quality Whoopass?” We’re going to find out. But first, I want you to guess. It’s heavy. And it’s kind of sloshy but not too sloshy, not like peas or carrots.

19 comments

  1. Beets.

    @ 3:08 pm on July 26, 2010

  2. Gotta be high fructose corn syrup in there. It’s in EVERYTHING, isn’t it?

    @ 3:12 pm on July 26, 2010

  3. I’m going spinach. Popeye…biceps…whoopass. Just sayin.

    @ 3:22 pm on July 26, 2010

  4. Kidney beans

    @ 3:28 pm on July 26, 2010

  5. So do you normally walk out of a restaurant with something like salt shakers or maybe a bottle of tabasco? Or maybe leave a hotel with a robe?

    Did you get the managers blessing to lift that can of Whoopass or is someone from Horne & Dekker really going to show you what whoopass is all about? Just wondering.

    @ 3:37 pm on July 26, 2010

  6. Garbanzo!
    C’mon, what was in the whoopass? Inquiring minds want to know.

    @ 3:38 pm on July 26, 2010

  7. Homminy

    @ 4:08 pm on July 26, 2010

  8. Hornes Porn and Dekkers pekker.

    @ 4:41 pm on July 26, 2010

  9. Dog Food

    @ 5:42 pm on July 26, 2010

  10. Nice move. Very funny. Get that sucker open!!!!

    @ 5:46 pm on July 26, 2010

  11. So how long have you been showing the classic symptoms of kleptomania?

    @ 10:02 am on July 27, 2010

  12. Thief!

    @ 12:55 pm on July 27, 2010

  13. Speaking of theives, does Horne and Dekker have permission to use my “kick ass” likeness on their cans of Whoopass?

    @ 2:14 pm on July 27, 2010

  14. There’s a chuck norris in the can.

    @ 2:41 pm on July 27, 2010

  15. Ricardo-

    That’s good.

    @ 2:47 pm on July 27, 2010

  16. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but it’s kittens. Sweet, adorable kittens.

    @ 8:51 pm on July 27, 2010

  17. And the answer is….?

    @ 2:25 pm on July 28, 2010

  18. [...] can of Whoopass on the patio and couldn’t contain herself. She had to know what was inside. (Full story here.) I sent a note of apology to owners Shawn Horne and Flynn Dekker and they replied: I thought we [...]

    @ 10:34 am on July 29, 2010

  19. Actually think it’s pretty offensive that you stole from a restaurant and then pimped your theft on D’s blog for hits.

    @ 1:57 pm on July 30, 2010