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Leslie Brenner’s Restaurant Critic’s Diet: What is Up with That?

Dear Leslie,

I really admire you for starting a diet in December,  the toughest eating time of the year. I also admire you for trying to shed pounds while you eat for a living—I have the same job and I am constantly trading a splurge here with a purge there. (Kidding) Anywhoo, the last time we heard from you, you were down 16 pounds which equates to carving a large Shih Tzu out of your thighs. That is awesome.

However, your mission statement for The Restaurant Critic’s Diet was to lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks. Your last report, Week 14, appeared 25 days ago. By my rough calculations, you should be coming up on Week 18, maybe even 19. Did you slip and gain five pounds? We’d like to know because that would be a good story. Is your elliptical dusty? I can understand if you jumped off that dang thing and went face down in a pile of pancakes. You started this story, now please update us with the backside story.

Your partner in dine,


19 comments on “Leslie Brenner’s Restaurant Critic’s Diet: What is Up with That?

  1. Leslie is a good soldier.

    I am here to help with your dealine blues, NN. Use the following list of words and jumble them, inserting a few quotes and names. Works everytime:

    Noisome, beguiling, portentous, debilitating, toast points, toothsome, absorbable, stalwort, Abbey Normal, esculent, whiff and sensen.

  2. Didn’t get the job at City of Ate, DAllasDud? Too bad. At least you can now post more and do sit-down comedy at the same time.

  3. Twin eating a hamburger in no way precludes a person from losing weight. Especially if she were to say only eat half of it. As long as the calories she consumes over the course of a day are generally less than what her body requires to maintain it’s current weight, she wouldn’t gain anything. It’s the fries that would really kill her, high calorie and mostly empty calories, they add up pretty quickly. Skip those and add some veggies/roughage with your hamburger and you’re ok.

  4. Lately, I’ve been eating cheeseburgers every day for lunch. Without the bun! I’m on Atkins again. I Had (for me) the perfect burger lunch yesterday at Farnatchi. A mozzarella stuffed Fanatchi burger with a side salad and iced tea.

  5. Monsieur or Mademoiselle Willow,

    What, pray, tell, makes you think anyone, cares what you have for lunch every, day?

  6. tuniz – Is this high school? Get a life, or better yet, get a job. Not clever, and veeery gay.

  7. Who knew you could say pussies but not cocktail?!

    I believe if you make a big deal about your diet, be prepared to be called out (by another food critic) if you “forget” to update and hope people won’t notice. Don’t want people to check you on your (lack of) progress? Don’t blog about your diet. Simple as that.

  8. Certainly! Screw Leslie and her diet we didn’t care to begin with. The pussies are the children bashing the guys commenting here. Pussies. The guys we beat up in school, now all fat and disgusting, living in their parents basement eating Cheetos and drinking Big Red by the case. Pussies. I would still beat them up if they would venture away from their 1984 Apple Macintosh PCs with the black and white display and a kung foo grip.

    Roid rage, sorry. But still…

  9. I had a bowl of pho for lunch yesterday. Thought about a cafe sua da but opted for water instead. Now please defend me with some ’90s wit.