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Inside the Life of a Restaurant Critic

DSCN2832So, you all know Leslie Brenner is on a diet, right. She is on one she very cleverly invented called The Restaurant Critic’s Diet. Good stuff. She has lost 9 pounds without sacrificing her dedication to her job as a dining critic.

In an article written by Teresa Gubbins, the skinny bitch over at PegNews, demands more details from La Brenner. TG wants to see before and after shots of Brenner’s project and Brenner’s starting and ending weight. Methinks not happening.

However, as she always does, Teresa brings up an interesting topic: Is Mathew McConaughey as good in bed as he is on his surf board. Wait, that wasn’t Teresa. TGub believes that people want to know insider-y details about restaurant critics:  What do we look like? Where do we eat on our own dime penny? Where do we live? Whom do we date? What language does our husband speak? How many cats do we have? You know, very intimate things about our secret lives.

To satiate your curiosity, and to keep you away from Pinkberry, I thought I’d share a “morning after” picture that I accidentally snapped last year. It is not staged. I like to call it “Banana Cream Pie at Midnight.” (Click on it to make it bigger.) If you can tell me where the pie was paid for, I’ll tell you how much I weigh.

22 comments on “Inside the Life of a Restaurant Critic

  1. I banged the old lady in the picture behind the empty Eatzi’s pie carton. I also invented the rotary engine.

    Neither were very good.

  2. He just watched, along with Vinnie Antonelli from the neighborhood. Then we all banged the chick in the photo.

  3. My guess would be Norma’s on Davis St, but maybe we should look and see if you wrote about any banana cream pie last year.

  4. I’m fascinated by that bracelet. (I’m fascinated by everything about restaurant critics.) Am I mistaken, or are you using your Katie Award as a paperweight. Hey, isn’t that the January 2009 issue of Vanity Fair? With Tina Fey on the cover?

  5. I’m fascinated by what Nancy is reading.

    Talk about morality for beautiful girls, like Terry from Texas, who was one of the 100’s that Wilt has scored. She did it during a plain song, straight on till morning, leaving quite the human stain.

  6. Get lost, Lawrence. You’re commentary is offensive and no one thinks you’re funny. Go beat up Leslie Brenner’s new review on Dish if you’re that bored.

  7. Meh, equal opportunity basher. Honed skills from what I learned from Nancy.

  8. @ewww:lighten up. lawrence is funny. if you’re so easily offended, maybe you should stick to the uptight a-hole’s at the DMN. Maybe more your speed…

  9. Hey if you can’t eat the calories or hang tough than don’t be a food critic ! Neither one of these is a very good one any way. bring back Addison and let Nancy do her thing Thresa is corupt and bitter most of the time and Leslie is just ridiculous. Diet,food,critic dysfunctional eat drink be a good critic because if your a critic you can’t be too merry

  10. I have witnessed many horrible things on this particular blog. It continues to be led down the path of unrighteous thinking by the main contributer that works for D Magazine, Ms. Nichols.

    I was not sure that this is the direction that Wick and Christine Allison wanted to take the publication, but it certainly has gone that route. One snarky comment at a time. The lead thug here is the Food Editor, which to me is nothing short of insane.

    What cataclysmic event took place that caused food writing to become a contact sport?

  11. the only way nancy registers 170 is if TG is standing on her shoulders. and that might even be a stretch.

  12. NN is not one pound over 117 and I hope the banana cream pie came from Celebration since theirs is the best, when available.