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No, Todd. You are not alone. The picture of that burger shows how ridiculous things have gotten in burger world. The price doesn’t matter if it is quality meat, produce, and bun. But I couldn’t shove that thing in my mouth on a dare. I’d rip the sides of my lips and need surgery. Scarred for life from a burger!

There are diminishing returns on expensive burgers. If you are a ‘Cliffdweller’, then I would think Wingfields is the example of how good burgers should be done. If you are willing to come north, then Maple & Motor probably offers the best “gourmet” burger – and at an appropriate price point.

If, after eating a $16 burger, I would look suddenly like the chef at Nonna, here’s my Visa bankcard. Otherwise in no particularly order ….since they are 4 different versions of a God-fearing All-American red/white and blue burger:… Wingfield’s, Lee Harvey’s for bombs away versions and Riverside Grill (940 N Industrial Blvd) and Fiesta on S. Buckner for exquisite versions of cheap-thrill traditional treasure temptations.

An aside: When confronted with a burger, as was Todd et al, that is too tall and thick and stacked to attempt surrounding with any known human mouth’s lip/teeth pairings, here is a suggestion.

Take the (assuming cloth if they are charging this much) napkin and set the burger with both hands down on the open napkin, then fold edges of napkin in over burger much like we fold the American Flag at Scout camp. After the burger is encased, place between two bread or salad plates furnished by server upon request (the top plate face down, the bottom plate beneath burger face up). Then wrap the plated burger again in a cloth napkin (or two). Then stand up and place the armor duo-plated / wrapped sandwiched burger on the floor and remove your shoe and gently but firmly step on the configuration until one sees squirting juices saturating sides of cloth napkin. Stop before floor becomes overwhelmed with liquids.

Pick up and return to table. Unfold and cut into quarters with a chef’s steak knife (furnished upon demand by the server) and then wrap each section in a cocktail napkin (furnished by the bar upon request and/or demand) and proceed. Simple.

Well, Scagnetti, La Nichols’ would have winced had I written: ‘Wrap in napkin, place in plastic bag and sit on it’.

To Mark’s point: May I quote my Russian friend Naum who has lived in Dallas for 30 years.

“Why put a saddle on a cow?”

None of those $6 sandwiches come with any sides. Individual-portion sides are $4 each.

Dallas might not need another $16 burger, but what about $171.

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