How to Have a Happy New Year’s Meal in Dallas, if You Celebrate According to the Jewish Calendar

Nancy has officially dubbed me the Rabbi of SideDish and thus assigned me to write about all things of the Yiddish/Jewish variety, so, if you have no interest in the following: Gefilte fish, chopped liver or tzimmes (a wonderful stewed mixture of fruits and vegetables that should never ever meet), feel free to skip to the next post, however.

If though, you are a working Jewish mom or just a Jewish Princess who is worried about what to do for the upcoming High Holidays, listen, take a load off. We’ve just been handed the T.J.’s Market catering menu for the High Holidays and all we’ve got to say is “Oy Vey, that Caren Alexis is going to be one tired Yiddisha Momma.”

Just listen to what they will do if you want them to make home-made Gefilte Fish (which, for some reason, I never caught on any of my many fishing expeditions): They will grind fresh fish (Pike, Lake Trout, Snapper, Buffalo, Carp, Tillapia, Haddock, Cod or Salmon). They will chop you some liver. They will give you the horseradish (red for you wimps, the pure white stuff for the strong-sinused among you). They’ve got glazed chicken breasts and brisket (and I’m assuming we’re not talking about any of that lean stuff with the barbecue sauce all over it; we’re talking tender, soft, with a bissel of fat and some oniony-soup broth gravy). They’ve got Nova Lox. The menu also has some baked brie stuffed with fruit and nuts. I’m not sure how that got on there, but it’s there nonetheless.

So, if you are planning for the High Holidays or just want to ring in the Jewish New Year (Happy 5770 everybody!) the right way, check out the menu here. Call the Alexis clan. And wish them a L’Shanna Tovah (which, in the language of my people, is the wish for a happy, healthy New Year).