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Bonathon Responds To Challenge By Fake Bonathon

Did you miss the high drama from last Friday? Josh Storie, an intern at Levenson & Brinker PR, challenged our intern, Bonathon, to a duel.  This is all still sooo Facebook. Bonathon fires back:

To the fake Bonathan or as henceforth shall be known as: Fonathan,

You’re clever, I’ll give you that. Quick with your words and clearly eager to prove your mettle as you found it within yourself to actually challenge the original. But let it be known, no one challenges me and gets away with it. Unless you are bigger than me, which in that case, by all means “no I was not looking at your girl funny.” That said, I am Steve Perry, and you are that guy from the Philippines. You might sound like me, and carry the same swagger but I was here first and I rocked harder than Nic Cage on Alcatraz. AMERICA.

Your challenge was intriguing and so, for the past week, I have gone into hiding to prepare myself mentally and physically for our challenge. And let me just say, you’re about to get a taste of the peoples’ elbow. Ooo-ah-ah-ah! You didn’t really think I was gonna let you pick the venue, did you? Bow to your sensei! We will let the people of SideDish decide this one. SIDEDISHERS: Offer your suggestions on the place and method in which I should administer my beat down of this Fonathan. (Please nothing too scary. Or intense. Or involving like, running. Checkers would be a good suggestion. Or Pictionary. Just saying.) And to Fonathan: the loser of this challenge shall be banished from Dallas forever (excluding major holidays, including Texas-OU weekend and random weekends when nothing is going on at school). The winner, shall be rightfully titled Bonathan, but this seems redundant as I’m already called that. *grabs a Coors Light, shotguns it, crushes can on forehead* Bring it!
P.S. Freshly starched Polo? Psh, shows exactly why you’re a knockoff of the real deal. Brooks Brothers is the original. Read a book.

18 comments on “Bonathon Responds To Challenge By Fake Bonathon

  1. I suggest Monkey Paw’s East Texas dog fighting compound, or whatever she bills it as these days.

  2. This calls for a frat-tastic triathalon. Shuffleboard at the Time Out Tavern, Golden Tee at a bar to be determined later, darts at Milo’s.

  3. I say ya’ll take it to the Golf Course at the New hot spot of dallas …The Tower Athletic Club and Spa …They’ve got everything you need there for a great duel

  4. I’m gonna have to agree with Felipe on this one. They should take it to the Golf Course.

  5. This calls for the awesome Tower Athletic Club and Spa.
    Not only enjoy drinks but practice your golf swing.

  6. I say keep it at the Tower. It will just look that much better if you beat him on his home turf.

  7. R. Burgundy says do it at the Tower, where it smells of mahogany and leather bound books. Joust or a turtle race.

  8. Wow, how many people work for Tower Athletic Club? That place is a ghost town, a nice ghost town, but a ghost town nonetheless.

    I say you two just call this what it really is, a lover’s quarrel. You two should meet at Sprinkle’s split a red velvet, kiss and agree that in the end Vermont is not a bad place to live.

    Oh, and BB created seersucker, no true evidence on the polo shirt.

  9. Yall should play a game of horse. Or intern. Ghost town or not, if Tower has a basketball court that’s what you should do.

  10. They should have a calf fry eating contest then a game of horse and then they should compete to see who can give Nancy Nichols and Sarah Eveans the best collection of wine and spa gift cards.

  11. Big Buck Hunter, Pool, then Darts, best 2 out of 3. This is the manner in which all champions are crowned.

  12. Water balloon fight and Wii bowling at Jack’s Backyard in the OC. That way both of you will be out of your “natural habitat” and no one will have the home court advantage.

  13. Darren is genius…whomever puts the address to Jack’s in the Maps on their iPhone and gets there without getting lost and on time gets the first point.