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A Blog Post To Julie & Julia Author Julie Powell

Julie Powell last night at the DMA.
Julie Powell last night at the DMA.

Tomorrow morning when the New York Times best seller list is released, Julie Powell’s book, Julie & Julia, will be in the number two position. Not bad for a former underpaid secretary-turned-blogger-turned-book author- turned-guest lecturer at last night’s Arts & Letters Live program and the Dallas Museum of Art.

Before last night, I made my feelings about the movie and Ms. Powell pretty clear—I didn’t particularly care for either one of them. The movie was nice, but I don’t like nice overly sweet movies. I can’t comment on Julie Powell’s book or blog because I haven’t read them.  I admitted that, right or wrong, I am extremely jealous of her rags-to-riches-by-blogging success.

Last night, Ms. Powell appeared at the DMA to speak and answer questions. The main hall was filled to capacity and another crowded room watched via closed circuit. SHE IS A FOOD BLOGGER. She does not have the cure for AIDS.

The good news is that I had a chance to tell Julie Powell, in front of a live audience, that I didn’t like her. I told her I was an insanely jealous food blogger and I wanted to know how in the hell she scammed this whole movie deal. You know what she said to me? “Yes, the bloggyness now is so different. I would want to throw me under a bus, too.”

I love her.

And I’m sending her a love letter.

Dear Julie,
Wow, you were really nervous last night. And plain. You didn’t wear any make up or even bother to comb your hair. That’s a gutsy move in Dallas. Especially when I think back on the saline-silicone-collagen-Botox and peroxided crowd of women you faced.

But they loved you. Love, loved, loved you. Like the blond woman who stood up and said, “Thank you, Julie. After I saw the movie on Monday night, I made Julia Child’s recipe for beof Bourgogne for my family and they loved it. And you inspired me to have the courage to try.” I was on the front row. I saw you tear up. And you didn’t even correct her for pronouncing it “beef” Burr-gynn-yon. I don’t think Julia Child would have spotted her that.

I loved it when you kicked your shoes off. I loved it that you never completed one sentence because you lost your train of thought so many times. You elevated the non-sequitur to an art form worthy of its own wall at the DMA.

I loved it that you admitted how young, stupid, desperate, and sad you were in 2003 when you started your food blog. I’m glad that you realize that your recent success isn’t because you are a good writer; you are now famous only because you were in the right place at the right time. I’m also happy to know that your real life was much worse than the one played by Amy Adams in the movie. (I bet she only uses Butter Buds!)  And I was filled with joy to learn that during the real project you didn’t have “as much sex” in real life. You still don’t do you? And you think you have it all.

After listening to you, I could tell that you think the movie’s director and screenwriter Nora Ephron is a real bitch. She kept you out of the movie making process and didn’t collaborate with you very much on the screenplay. You didn’t even get to meet any of the cast until after the movie was made. (Does Meryl even know who you are?) Man, that would have chapped my ass. I mean, Nora Ephron? Talk about desperate. She couldn’t hang on to effin’ Carl Bernstein. And Ephron totally ripped that over-the-top lobster scene straight out of Annie Hall. That old broad doesn’t have an original thought.

Nora’s Julie betrayed you, didn’t she? Nora’s Julie felt that Julia Child taught her joy and how to cook. But you, Julie’s Julie, you are deeper. You feel that Julia Child taught you how to cook, but, more importantly, she taught you how to enjoy life in a different way. Julia wrote a cookbook that changed the culinary world. Mastering the Art of French Cooking has traveled through space and time and it somehow landed on your coffee table and changed the way you now look at life. You know you’re not a good cook, but you do know that, as a result of your year of cooking, you are stronger and live a braver life. Knowing you the way I now know you, Julie’s Julie, I am sure that the huge sums of money now stuffed in your mattress have nothing to do with your new found happiness. Nothing.

I could tell you really wanted to swear last night. You wanted to lace an f-bomb between every word that came out of your mouth. Then you wouldn’t have been so nervous, right? And you would have been happier if the movie had been rated “R” and Nora’s Julie could have let a few f-bombs fly. Damn MPAA. Damn Ephron. They’re all about wide-release money.

Julie, I’m so glad we got to meet and cuss together. I feel so close to you. Not like those three bitches that played your friends in the movie. What? That part was made up by Ephron to create drama and define your character’s dilemma early in the movie? Wow. That gives me hope because I hated them. Like I hated you after I saw the movie on Monday.

Last night you said, “I don’t have a lot of friends, but I like the ones I have.” After our little talk backstage, I am assuming that I’m in there. On the inside circle. We have so much in common—love of food, blogging, swearing, going shoeless in public, and 100,000 hits a day on our websites.

Good luck at the premier tonight. I’ll be here at my blog waiting for your comment.

Bon Appetit,
Nancy

22 comments on “A Blog Post To Julie & Julia Author Julie Powell

  1. I thought Brenner’s snarling pounce on Dott Switch BBQ was going to take the prize for Cat Scratch of the Week, but this gives her a run for her money.

  2. Love it, Nancy! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face after a long day at work!

  3. I love you Nancy, for your unfiltered, seemingly unedited (though you probably spent hours on it) open letter to whats-her-name. I hope Megan Fox gets to play you in the movie.

  4. People, people: This is why Nancy Nichols is the cat’s meow when it comes to food writing in this town. She is funny, witty, acerbic, poignant, sarcastic, warm and moralistic all in one post.

    Nancy, you rock. Now, will you please make me some Coq Au Vin?

    And I only asked for that to see if asterisks come up!

  5. Hmmm. I wonder how she would pronounce Coq au Vin? Sometimes a Coq is just a coq.

  6. Wait! Dicktails are out now, too? Who went and changed the rules?

    What about pricktails?

  7. @ PM: Who made the rules? I did. But you were too clever for me. Well done, sir.

    @ Nancy: A classic. It will live forever.

  8. Fuck this is fucking funny stuff. Did this really happen? Did you really talk to her or just make it up?

  9. This made me laugh out loud.

    I, too, noticed from watching her on Good Day Texas yesterday morning that it appeared she doesn’t own a hair brush. Maybe if she sells a couple of books she’ll be able to.

  10. Nancy, I’m currently reading Waiter Rant, another NY Times blogs-to-riches story by Steve Dublanica about waiting tables in the Big Apple. Wonderful, acerbic, yet compassionate prose. People like Steve and Julie give us bloggers hope!

  11. Nancy, this is why I log onto your blog about 50 times a day yet have never read Julie’s book/blog. You, my dear, are my favorite food blogger ever and always will be!

  12. You should check out Julie’s blog. The blog matches the personality you describe in your post and is more entertaining than the book (which I also enjoyed). If the movie’s lobster scene matches what is in the blog and book, it is not a rip off of some other movie and should be hilarious.

  13. I mean can you imageine anything worse than appearing before US…Dallas is all its shined up glory at the DMA no less?
    The movie is a little sappy and yes, I felt the girl who played her brunette friend would have been a better choice to play her than Amy Adams (even Sandra Bullock, a lone star girl herself, though a little long in the tooth, could have been an admirable choice) but they needed a little fluff to go up against the steely pillar of strength that is always Meryl Streep, no matter how sweet the character. And Stanley Tucci, well if every man in America is not secretly in love with him after this.

  14. Dad gum! Better not get on the bad side of NN. Frankly Julie, we all suspect that when she’s not at a keyboard she’s really something of a pussy cat. Then again, with her constant observation of birds maybe she’s more of a Sylvester the Cat, looking for her next simply scrumptious meal. Do you feel like you’ve been served up as a main course? At any rate, the way Nancy described things I’d much rather meet you any day than the character Ephron delivered. Please come back to Dallas soon and often – you’ve already got a fan club going here.

  15. As an avid reader, I’m putting this at the top of my favorite short story list.