Texas Monthly Claims The Hamburger Was Invented In Texas

This burger is not from Dallas. It can't be good.
This burger is not from Dallas. It can’t be good.

Sometimes when I read food stories in Texas Monthly I get really jealous of their food reviewer, Pat Sharpe. I mean that skinny bitch has the whole state of Texas to choose from when she eats and writes. There have been so many times when I have been sitting in a dive-of-a restaurant somewhere in Texas and I find myself saying, “This would be such a great Texas Monthly story.”

Of course, instead of sending the information to Pat like a respectable colleague, I sit on it. Yes, that is not nice, but it is the way I roll. Who knows, Pat could move to New York and Evan Smith could call me and say, “Hey remember all of those Texas Monthly story ideas you had? Why don’t you come down here and write them for us? You can have an office right next door to Brian D. Sweany and we will pay you $10 a word.”

POP! SMACK! Fade to reality:
The cover story for the August issue of Texas Monthly reveals the 50 Best Burgers in Texas. In the same issue, there is a story by Gary Cartwright, a writer I liked until he wrote that stupid nostalgic  piece on  geezer sportswriters in June (no link, find it yourself). Anywhoo, Mr. Cartwright is going to prove to all of us that the hamburger was invented in Texas. And I am going to weigh 110 pounds tomorrow morning.

So, we have TexMo’s take on the best hamburgers in Dallas and how they rank in the state. I can’t wait. It’s such a great Dallas story.

12 comments on “Texas Monthly Claims The Hamburger Was Invented In Texas

  1. As nice as you’re being (are you on decaf?) about TM and their piece on the best hamburger(s) in Texas, I find it a little hard to imaging picking the best Mexican restaurant in Pleasant Grove, let alone the ‘best’ hamburger in Dallas. Which when you tackled that one, should have been a ‘reality’ documentary. To this day I go to Wingfield’s whenever I feel depressed or extremely happy. Add bacon and you’re prostrate for a minimum 7 hours.

    But the ‘best’ hamburger in Texas? You mean they actually tried the Stop and Go burger at the corner of Lake June and Prairie Creek that made me order a second one when no one was looking? And that woman’s fare at the Fiesta on South Buckner? Or the way Keno made my burger last night at Lee Harvey’s… with bacon and avocado and Swiss and Cheddar cheeses added, puntuated with double dripping slathers of chipoltle mayo? I’m impressed.

  2. Nancy, Nancy, Nancy: I’m sitting here looking at our burger story and I’m thinking (from one Skinny Bitch to another), you are going going to fall out of your chair when you see our number one burger choice in the whole state. Man, just you wait. I can’t tell you yet because the August issue hasn’t shipped to subscribers. . . well, by this time, Evan Smith may have revealed it in his blog (he’s a little hard to control). But you’ll see, and soon. Pat

  3. The Library of Congress lists Louis’ Lunch in New Haven, CT as the birthplace of the hamburger. As much as Texas Monthly believes that Texas is really the center of the universe, sorry, but no…

  4. Pat, give us a clue. If our readers can guess it I can throw a pie in your face. If they don’t then you can throw one in mine. Let’s duel, baby. Spill it.

  5. Just allegedly leaked (in some skinny bitch’s car) Hot off the (George Foreman) press:

    *Posthumous award to Prince of Hamburgers on Lemon Avenue.

  6. Leslie Brenner’s cover story in Saveur says the hamburger wasn’t invented in Texas.

    She also says that, “At the end of the day, I confess that this frenzy to elevate the food, to load it up with expensive or extravagant ingredients, tends only to intensify my craving for a good, old-fashioned backyard hamburger.” She then describes a good, old-fashioned backyard hamburger. Here’s the recipe…

    Step 1: Invite Nancy Silverton over and tell her to make burgers in your backyard. (Wear a fake mustache so you can remain anonymous.)

    Step 2: Watch Nancy Silverton freshly grind the beef, using chuck and sirloin fat.

    Step 3: Watch Nancy Silverton cook your burger to medium rare on a cast iron griddle.

    Step 4: Watch Nancy Silverton shave some imported Gruyere over the patty.

    Step 5: Watch Nancy Silverton dress the burger with seasonal, heirloom tomato and lettuce and slivers of ripe avocado.

    Step 6: Watch Nancy Silverton spread some freshly made spicy mayo and ketchup on the bun that she baked just that morning at La Brea Bakery.

    What could be easier?

  7. Nancy–If I told you, they’d have to kill me. But let me say this: It’s in Dallas. (You’re number one, you’re number one . . . .) It would be about the fiftieth — no, hundredth– place that would come to mind when you think, “I’m in the mood for a burger.” But once you had it, no other would do. Pat
    P.S. The list is coming out mid-afternoon tomorrow. So they sayeth (the almighty “they”).

  8. If it’s not Wingfield’s, I’m going to cancel my TM subscription. Ok. Not really. But it better be Wingfield’s.

  9. I sorta waited 24 hrs. to comment that, although Nancy’ Silverton’s burger sounds wonderful, I would be remiss to not mention that, (as a 7th generation Texan who admittedly lived in northern California) Leslie Brenner’s mention of a ‘good old-fashioned backyard burger’ involving Gruyere is right up there with the woman who suggested to a single working mother friend of mind that she put granite countertops in her guest bath and a ‘small Persian rug’ on its floor ‘to add worldly interest’.

  10. Everyone does know that I found the first citation of “hamburgers” in the year 1883 from New York City?

    Everyone does know that I found numerous citations for “hamburger sandwiches” in the 1890s and early 1900s?

    Everyone does know that Dallas had at least one hamburger stand in the 1890s and that it’s listed in a 1900 city directory?

    Tell me again how Fletcher Davis invented or popularized the hamburger in 1904?

    Why oh why did no one contact me to write this story?