Wings=Gross! and I’d never eat them. Now on one occasion I was dragged into Buffalo Wild Wings (yes drunk and against my will, but the trivia was fun as hell and made the ninth beer go down great!) I ordered boneless ones. Or chicken tenders, whatever. and NO they are NEVER spicy enough.

As an Eagles fan I hate that they are the official wings of the Cowboys. Wingstop just opened their first Philly location this year. I don’t think Troy’s picture will be on the wall.

1. One time I drove all the way around Belt Line Rd (93 miles). The only thing there were more of than chicken wing restaurants were dollar stores and donut shops.

2. Inflation of chicken wing prices is incredible. The local wing place in Austin we frequented in college had $0.25 wing Tuesdays. Then it jumped to $0.45, and now they don’t even have it. This is within 5-10 years. It’s still cheaper than fresh produce.

3. There are a lot of dead chickens represented on a plate of 20 chicken wings (“drumsticks” included).

4. No wing place has hot wings that are hot enough. They all claim to have ridiculously hot wings (with 5 flames next to the flavor on the menu or whatever), but they’re really only hot to the yankees that invented them. Texans hardly break a sweat (Plucker’s Fire in the Hole flavor is the only exception).

5. The reason these places do well is you can have a decently large meal for $7.99 or so, which is an ideal price point for middle America. And, if you’re a fat middle American (is there another kind?), you sometimes have the “all you can eat” option for less than $15 or so.

6. All Americans love competition. All Americans are fat. There’s no better solution than a chicken wing eating competition.