And the Hits Just Keep on Comin’

I can hardly muster the strength to post my thoughts regarding the atrocity I just witnessed on Top Chef. I’m afraid I may be banned from ever posting again if I say what I feel, so I’ll try to keep it in check. However, I’m so disgusted with the recent development that there might not be much I can say without the cloak of anonymity. Hmm-who should I be?

Beware-spoiler immediately after the jump!!!

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New Central Market Organics Coffees at, You Guessed It, Central Market

People who do not drink coffee make me a little nervous. Many mornings, my only motivation to crawl out of bed is the thought of a huge, steaming cup of my morning coffee. I don’t always have a lot of money, so I end up buying the cheaper stuff, but if I were rich like you, I would buy Central Market Organics Coffees. You can find them in the bulk section. They’ve got Breakfast Blend, French Roast, Panama Finca Santa Barbara, and one I really like the sound of, Sumatra Mandheling (yes, please!). Prices range from $9.99 to $10.99 per pound. Go and buy now.

Cease the Grease Week is Here

Color me late to this party: Last week Mayor Tom Leppert officially declared June 1-7 as “Cease the Grease Week” in Dallas. (Sorry, DWU, it takes me a while to get through my e-mails.) Anywhoo, you grease fiends need to quick blocking up the sewers with your bacon grease and learn how to recycle it properly. (No, Zac, you don’t drink it.) Dallas Water Utilities and Griffin Industries officials will be happy to take that yucky stuff out of your hands and teach you how to deal it in the future. Click here for an insightful “Perry the Pipe” instructional video. He’s a nice pipe. Clean and shiny. Go, now.

Cremona Italian Restaurant Burns Down

I’m sorry to hear that Cremona burned down early this morning. Melting plastic grapes,? Yuk-a-do.

Rise and Shine at Rise No. 1

Monday is not my favorite day of the week. The good sleep times of the weekend are gone and walking into a mass of cubicles filled with typing co-workers is like making your way through a steady blast of hot air filled with microscopic bits of flint. Plus, Monday nights there is no Law & Order SVU (Hi, Elliot!) to keep you company. So many thanks go to the folks at Artreach-Dallas for setting us up for a good time on June 23. That’s when they will present “The Art of the Souffle,” a fund raiser at Rise No. 1 Salon de Souffle. Festivities will begin with a demonstration from 6 PM to 6:45 PM on the art (and it is one) of soufflé preparation by execuchef, Cherif Brahmi. Following the demonstration, guests will be treated to a palette of French assiettes and soufflés specially prepared for the occasion. A bargain at $125 per person. Call Keith Hobbs at 214-521-8596 or khobbs@mbapr.com. Don’t let those French words intimidate you: Tell them SideAssiette sent ‘cha.

A Call to Arms! Free Sushi! I Repeat, Free Sushi!

I love Rodin but I love free food even more. Hey, is today Wednesday? Why yes, sweet Nancy, it is. Yipee! From 5PM to 8PM, the folks at (warning: obnoxious groovy music) Dallas Fish Market will be giving away sushi. Is there a catch? Of course there is, silly, it’s a fish restaurant. Bad jokes aside, you have to buy a $5 cocktail. “Ahh, what a rip off” you say? May I ask what box of wine you have been living under? Considering most wines by the glass are skirting $10, you should be thrilled. Are you happy? Then clap your hands.